The Best Of Friends
by Grissom1
Summary: Grissom and Sara are confined together for thirty days....set in my own alternate universe....always GSR I shouldn't have to say this but things are never as they appear in my stories....
1. Chapter 1

**Note from author:**

Hello everyone! I know it has been awhile since I've posted a story but there were some road blocks and downright detours I had to take in order to finally get this finished. LOL. This is set in my alternate universe- which means the events that occurred on CSI our at my disposal to bend, twist, shift around but the characters remain the same…of course GSR. I hope you enjoy. There is only one remaining unfinished story after this one….sigh….

Take care.

Penny

**Chapter One**

**Walking to Hell**

He arrived on the scene just as she did.

She carried her kit and waited for him.

He said nothing as he approached the house.

She fell into step without questioning his actions.

There was no officer on sight and he knew he was breaking his own rules when he headed toward the entrance but he was too tired to wait for Brass or someone else to lead them to another body.

They could do that on their own.

It wasn't difficult to find a body.

They had found too many of them these days and for once in his career he felt his own burnout.

She said nothing as his hand turned the knob of the door.

She did not even question his intentions and he wasn't sure whether to be relieved of her confidence in him or her recklessness.

Yes, Sara Sidle would follow him straight into hell.

The thought swirled around in his brain.

_Hell and back?_

_We've said little to one another for weeks…_

She had come to Vegas as a friend and now she stood by his side as his employee and he was certain that she did not consider him as a friend any longer.

He had tempted and pushed their friendship until even Sara Sidle now side stepped any hint of a flirtatious advance.

She no longer hung on his words or stopped by his office door at the end of each shift.

He liked it better that way.

Oh, he told himself that every day, every hour, every minute and every second of the day but in reality he wondered if he could tolerate this new relationship of theirs.

Boss and employee was all that was left and at times the hollow look in her eyes haunted him.

His eyes diverted a direct encounter, always keeping his eyes focused on anything but her face.

God, he missed looking at her.

He missed the way her lips curled, the soulful brown eyes and the smile that melted away all of the horrors from any shift.

He wasn't sure how they had come to this place in their lives but he dreaded being near her when he was weak from the need for something from her and tonight the need was far worse than it had ever been.

He wanted nothing more than to look at her.

He wanted to **really **see her.

He needed to **really **be with her.

He almost stole a glance but she turned away as if she did not want to risk a confrontation.

It seemed their previous confrontations had not gone so well.

The last disagreement dealt with excessive overtime that had gotten out of hand.

One word had led to another and they found themselves at each other before anyone could even guess as to the real root of the problem.

He knew.

She knew.

It had to do with an inability to be just boss and employee and both knew that their relationship was coming to an end.

Something had to change.

Someone had to give.

Worse, if things did not improve, someone had to leave.

As he sighed out loud letting his fatigue known, he was ready to end it tonight.

He wanted to do something.

He wanted to change their current path but wasn't quite sure how to do it.

He knew if they remained as they were someone was bound to leave.

Could he?

He felt old and change was something that did not set well with him.

He knew she could.

He was afraid that if she resigned it would be for all the wrong reasons.

Despite the difficultness between the two, Sara had made a family with the others and he was sure that was something she had not had in the past.

Yes, if anyone had to leave, he would do it.

He could, couldn't he?

The thought of never seeing her again even in this strained sense of relationship made his heart heavy.

He had come to depend on her in an odd way.

It was a twisted oddity.

He stopped dead in his tracks causing her to bump into him at just how sad their relationship had become.

_Get a grip, Grissom…_

The recent verbal attacks were proof to everyone that even their professional relationship was in jeopardy.

Each were black and blue from the verbal attacks and now just this week they had called a truce by the mere fact that they were too exhausted to play any head games while the others were ill and they worked shift after shift side by side.

She followed his step and headed inside.

His phone made him stop.

"Grissom."

"What?" he yelled as the reception faded in and out.

"Are you at the sight?" yelled Brass.

"We're here," yelled Grissom.

"CD…be there…stay…until …get there. Grissom, did you hear me?" yelled Brass.

"We're not going anywhere," yelled Grissom.

He flipped the phone off despite the sound of Jim's voice still yelling.

"We're not waiting for him," griped Grissom. "We'll be pulling a triple if we wait any longer."

"We are pulling a triple," moaned Sara as she stepped into the house.

Grissom pulled out his revolver. "Stay at the door."

She didn't.

He cursed inwardly but was too tired to argue at the moment.

_Walking through hell, Grissom…_

With each step, he felt her beside him.

Both were relieved to find it empty except for the two bodies they had spotted.

"Pick a room," said Grissom as he sighed.

"I'll take body number one," announced Sara as her kit dropped to the floor.

"I guess that leaves me with body number two," replied Grissom as he stepped to the adjoining room.

They began taking photos.

"Where's David?" asked Sara.

"Somewhere between body on the strip and the body near the casino," strained Grissom.

"Doesn't murder take a break?" whined Sara.

Grissom sighed. "I guess not."

Sara continued to work collecting the evidence around the body of the man lying face down.

"Got anything as to cause of death?" asked Sara.

"Nothing yet," called Grissom. "This guy is lying face down."

Sara glanced over toward Grissom. "So is this guy."

"There's no blood," said Grissom.

"None here," replied Sara.

"I'm going to turn my guy over," called Grissom.

"Me too," said Sara.

They both stared at their victim.

"Griss…"

"Sara…"

"What?" they said in unison.

"My guy looks like he has small pox," called Sara stepping back.

"Mine too," replied Grissom.

"We should call…" Sara was interrupted by the blow horn.

"Grissom, come to the door," called Brass.

Grissom stepped out of the house.

"You didn't listen," called Brass.

"I didn't hear…I'm listening now," replied Grissom irritably.

"CDC is on its way," said Brass. "You're going to have to stay quarantined until they arrive. No one enters or leaves."

They felt a bit uneasy.

_Walking through hell…_

He felt the pressure of his fatigued mistake.

This could cost both of them.

Sara read his face.

She knew he felt responsible and for once in a very long time, wanted to put him at ease.

"Hazmat…I guess we'll get a shower…been there did that," she halfway teased.

He grinned slightly trying to ease the tension.

"Let's uhm just do our job…keep clear of the body. Use a mask," instructed Grissom.

They stacked the evidence along the wall and were grateful when they glanced out to see the CDC arrive.

Two men in suits walked into the house.

They watched as the men examined the bodies.

"Did you touch the bodies?" asked Agent Dover.

"With gloves," replied Grissom.

"Those types of mask are worthless," grumbled the other agent, Rogers.

"We'll keep them on," replied Grissom.

"What are we dealing with?" asked Sara.

"Bubonic plague," replied one of the men.

"Wait, these guys look like they have small pox," said Grissom.

"We got a report of bubonic plague," replied Agent Dover.

"How?" asked Grissom. "We just got on the scene and there wasn't anyone here when we arrived."

"Wait, someone else was in here?" asked special agent Dover.

"The call came from someone else. An officer would have remained at the sight," replied Sara.

The two agents looked at one another.

"We're going to take you out in suits," said Agent Rogers.

"Where are you taking us?" asked Grissom.

"To a secure location so we can monitor you for symptoms," replied agent Dover.

"For how long?" asked Sara.

"Not long…30 days," replied Agent Rogers.

"Thirty days!" yelled Grissom.

"It could be longer," replied Agent Rogers.

"You're kidding, right?" asked Sara.

"Miss, we're from the CDC we take an oath not to kid," said Agent Rogers.

Grissom and Sara glanced at one another.

They were handed suits.

Each began to slip them over their clothes but the agent stopped them.

"You've got to strip…everything," ordered Agent Dover.

"I'm not stripping in front of you!" said Sara.

"We'll turn around," offered Agent Rogers.

Rogers turned but Dover did not budge.

Sara stepped into the next room.

When she returned, Grissom was already changed.

"You need to go straight to the van," called Agent Dover.

Grissom and Sara looked in the direction of Brass.

He waved.

They sat down across from one another in the van.

Sara said nothing as she leaned against the back of the van.

"You okay?" asked Grissom.

_God, you think she's okay after possibly exposing her to a potential life threatening virus…_

_What the hell were you doing, Grissom?_

_You failed to wait for back up, breaking department rules…_

His expression was odd and she felt uneasy at his scrutiny.

"Stomach virus…everyone gets it but us…we're the lucky ones…we get to deal with bubonic plague," she muttered. "This suit itches."

"Look at it this way, you just got a paid vacation for thirty days," said Grissom as he tried to get comfortable.

"That is if we don't come down with the plague and die," replied Sara.

"You see a glass as half empty," chided Grissom.

"I see a glass with vodka and orange juice and would like to empty it right now," sighed Sara.

His harsh glare made her sit back.

She closed her eyes shutting out his angry stare.

_He still thinks I drink…_

_I do…_

"You think it's really the Plague?" asked Sara.

"That was not Bubonic but then I'm not sure what those men were exposed to….or us…I don't think it will affect us," he said trying not to let his own concern be known.

The van began to move and they watched as the house disappeared.

Grissom stared out the window trying to determine where they were going.

He was surprised when the area became familiar.

He said nothing as he sat there hoping he was wrong.

Sara continued to keep her back against the side of the van with her eyes closed.

As they made their way up the driveway entrance, he cursed inwardly.

Once they stopped, he heard the men get out but no one came to the back of the van.

He nudged Sara.

"I'm not asleep," she said leaning forward and almost coming cheek to cheek with Grissom.

She quickly corrected herself.

"We're here already?" asked Sara.

"Sara…they've taken us to…"

The door swung open and Agent Dover instructed them to get out.

Sara stepped out but stopped suddenly when she saw the front of the building.

"You're kidding, right?" she asked nervously. "You said you guys don't kid."

"It's the only facility around with a lock down floor," replied Agent Rogers.

"I'm not staying here!" yelled Sara.

"Look, you'll be on a secured floor," assured Agent Dover.

"I don't care!" said Sara sounding a bit odd.

Agent Dover reached out to take her by the arm but she pushed him back.

She tried to step back but the other agent was there to grab her from behind.

"Stop! You're not going to help matters!" yelled Grissom.

Sara stopped as if he were talking to her.

The agent took the opportunity to grab her more firmly causing Sara to panic.

Grissom grabbed the man's arm and shoved him back, pulling Sara toward him.

She quickly stood behind Grissom.

"Look, we don't want to use excessive force but we will if she doesn't cooperate," sneered Dover.

Grissom quickly pulled Sara off to the side.

"Sara, you've got to calm down," whispered Grissom.

"I am not going in that place," seethed Sara.

"Want to be tasered?" asked Grissom.

She breathed in deeply as she stared up at the building.

This was the last place on earth that she intended to step foot in.

"Sara…"

The words tumbled out of her mouth sounding rather desperate.

"Griss, I don't want to go back into that place," she said folding her arms about herself.

Grissom stepped closer so that the two men could not hear the conversation.

"Adam Trent was transferred to another facility," whispered Grissom.

"I don't care. It's the same place… the same smell…the same…" she gulped as if she were struggling to breathe.

_Welcome back to hell…_

"Is there a problem?" asked Dover.

"Just give me a minute," assured Grissom.

He knew she was having a hard time being back at the institute.

He struggled with the words to ease her fear but before he could say another word, Sara was already walking back to the agents.

Before he could utter a single word of comfort she cleared her throat and directed it at the agents, "let's go," she said quietly.

"Got a problem with solitary confinement?" asked Dover.

Sara stopped abruptly.

Grissom glanced at Sara.

She had not budged from the spot even though the men continued to walk toward the entrance.

"What the hell is it now?" grumbled Dover.

Sara seemed to be thinking.

Grissom had no idea what fears or horrors she harbored.

Sara stepped back.

Grissom swallowed.

_She can't possibly be considering making a break for it…_

His hand snaked out and took hers firmly.

"Sara, follow my lead," he whispered.

Her body fell into sync with his as they entered the mental institute.

Another note:

Welcome back to all of my regular readers….I think this is going to be the most unusual but enjoyable reads. Just a reminder, leave a review after each chapter. I will post regular.

Take care,

Penny


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two:**

**Confrontations**

They had been here before to investigate the death of a patient.

It had almost cost Sara her life.

Her eyes darted from one end of the room to the next.

Yes, it looked and smelled the same.

She recognized some of the patients as they filed down the hall.

One or two recognized them as well.

"Murder," one screamed. "They're looking for blood!"

Another joined in, "It's everywhere…it's on the walls…on the floors…it's on you!"

A shiver ran down Sara's spine.

It seemed surreal as they watched the men sign a few papers, speaking in hushed tones to the director who kept his distance from them.

A mournful cry erupted down the hall followed by screaming.

An attendant rushed down the hall.

The air exploded with screams of obscenity followed by the sound of something hitting an object.

Another attendant scurried down the hall.

"I'm sorry," announced Doctor Randal. "We've been having some problems with one our new patients."

"Let's hope this one is better," griped Dover as he glanced toward Sara.

Uneasiness settled over Grissom.

Sara had become silent as she kept her back turned.

She stood there watching the rain fall outside.

_It rained last time…_

_Walking through hell and…_

The elevator opened and then they were being ushered inside.

Grissom glanced at her but her eyes remained fixed on the buttons as they ascended.

She kept herself in the corner of the elevator.

The elevator lurched, sending Dover a few inches toward Sara and she retreated further into the corner.

Dover grinned at her reaction.

The doors opened.

The two agents waited until the pair stepped off the elevator.

"You'll need to shower immediately," directed Rogers.

Grissom hesitated a moment but took the lead.

He could hear her footsteps following.

_That's good, Sara…._

_You've done this before…_

_You've stripped and been cleansed before…_

_Greg was with you…_

_This is no different…_

It was different.

Grissom had already taken a dislike to the two men, particularly Dover.

He'd seen that look in men's eyes and those eyes darted up and down Sara's body too often for Grissom's comfort.

One thing he was sure of and that was the confrontation that was brewing between Sara and Dover.

Sara was not one to back down and he was sure Dover would like nothing more than to put his hands on Sara.

Yes, he'd seen that look before.

He'd seen that look ever time he looked in the mirror after the same confrontation with Sara.

She was a spit fire.

She was wild and high spirited and yet he knew how to gentle her tirade.

Rogers led them into an opening which led to the showers.

It was obvious the hall was equipped for same sex residents.

Sara turned and came face to face with Dover.

"You need to be cleansed," directed agent Rogers.

Dover stepped up.

"Just remove the suits and we'll do the rest," Dover snickered at Sara as he practically unclothed Sara with his eyes.

It sickened Sara but she knew Grissom was already getting irritated with her behavior.

"Unzip," ordered Dover.

Grissom stepped closer.

He wasn't about to watch as this man forced Sara to strip in front of them.

Sara gritted her teeth as she felt Grissom move toward her.

Grissom heard the zipper as it glided down but he refused to look in her direction.

He glared at Dover who feasted on the site before him.

He watched as the young man practically drooled as he took delight in gawking at Sara.

"Get it over with," gritted Sara as the suit dropped to the cemented floor.

The student was now the teacher as Grissom followed her lead.

She held her arms straight into the air as the blast from the water made her stumble a bit.

It was obvious he was taking pleasure in her discomfort.

Grissom kept his eyes focused on the wall as he balled his hands into fists.

She refused to look in any direction for fear of seeing the anger in Grissom's face at balking over a mere hazmat shower.

She knew he probably had not even noticed the way Dover had looked at her.

Dover's looks sickened her.

She'd seen men like him before.

The bars were full of them.

It had been the reason she had taken up drinking in the privacy of her own apartment.

The only time she had ventured out was at Nick's insistence and that had not ended well, costing her an almost DWI.

Of course, Grissom probably thought that men did not desire her and Dover's sickening looks had been wasted on her only.

She could feel Dover's eyes on her now as he ordered her to move from side to side.

She stared past Dover when ordered to face him.

It cost her dearly as the water blasted her for several seconds in the face.

Grissom still faced the wall as Rogers glanced at Dover in surprise.

Sara's eyes finally looked at Dover and the water suddenly stopped.

She stood there shivering.

Grissom was ordered to turn around but now Dover had ordered Sara to face the wall once more as he continued his assault with the sprayer.

Rogers turned off the water and Grissom glared at Dover as he continued his water assault on Sara.

Grissom grabbed a towel and stepped toward Dover.

Rogers knew Grissom intended to grab Dover.

Rogers stepped between the men.

He grabbed Dover's arm.

"She's finished," ordered Rogers hoping it would appease Grissom's anger.

"Just making sure," he chuckled as the water shut off.

Sara waited for a towel but none came from Dover.

She knew he was waiting for her to turn around and face him.

Rogers grabbed several towels and thrust them at Sara.

She took them, wrapping them securely around her body.

She actually welcomed the idea of solitary confinement if it meant getting away from Dover.

Her limbs were heavy from fatigue.

"We'll have some of your personal things brought but in the meantime, these will have to do," said Rogers as they were handed orange jump suits.

They recognized them immediately.

The residents wore them.

Dover grinned.

His grin faded the moment Sara slipped her long slender legs into the suit, turned her back and then finished dressing, not giving the agent another opportunity to see her nude body. She took the towels and tossed them at Dover's feet.

Rogers grinned this time.

In all of the commotion, Sara had not even noticed that Grissom was now dressed.

Both stood there side by side.

He appeared angry and she wondered if he blamed her for the delay.

Her skin burned but she refused to acknowledge the discomfort.

"If you'll follow me," said Rogers as he escorted them down the hall.

He opened the door to a room.

It was larger than the rooms they had examined during the murders.

The agent seemed to read Sara's mind.

"Solitary confinement rooms are larger since the patient seldom leaves," he explained.

Sara stepped into the room.

Dread filled her.

Fear engulfed Grissom as the agent started to close the door.

He would be locked in a room down the hall.

If anything happened to Sara, he would not be able to reach her.

He knew that if Dover tried anything, Sara would not hesitate to fight back.

While he was confident she could handle herself, he also knew that Sara was no match for the likes of Dover.

Dread overtook him as the door shut while her back was turned.

He would not see her face again for a month.

His pulse quickened with each step he took.

_Walk through hell…_

There were no last words.

He didn't even get a good look at her.

He wasn't sure what she was feeling at the moment.

_This is my fault…_

_I did this…_

She was here because of him.

_Walking through hell and…_

Another door opened and Rogers motioned for him to enter.

It was the same.

He stood there looking around.

Rogers seemed to be growing impatient. "I'll have some blankets brought."

There was a mournful cry down the hall and he tried to determine its origin.

Had it been Sara?

Panic began to set in.

"I'm not staying here," he declared taking a step toward Rogers.

The agent's hand settled just inches from his gun.

"Are you claustrophobic?" he asked.

_Lie Grissom…_

"Yes, I can't stand to be in tight places…alone," he said.

"Mr. Grissom…"

"I'll stay with Sara," he announced.

"That's not possible," replied Dover.

"You might contaminate one another," Rogers reasoned.

"Then I'll take that chance," Grissom replied.

"She might not want to share a room…with her boss," snickered Dover.

Grissom took a step causing Dover to pull his gun from its holster but Rogers quickly stepped between the two men.

"Dr. Grissom, it is our responsibility to ensure you're not further contaminated…"

"I insist," said Grissom rather loud.

Rogers sighed out loud, "Geez, get in the other room."

Dover cursed as Rogers forced him to unlock Sara's door.

She whirled around the moment she heard the click of the lock.

She seemed a bit surprised to see Grissom.

"Do you mind sharing a room with Mr. Grissom?" asked Rogers.

Sara felt relief flooding her body but she kept her composure not wanting the agents to see how much she feared being alone.

"No, of course not," she replied.

The door was locked once more and both stood there.

There were only mattresses on the old metal beds.

Sara sat on one of the beds with her arms about her legs.

He did the same.

The bed creaked as he adjusted his weight to a more comfortable position.

It was quite chilly in the room.

Sara's hair lay in wet curls about her shoulders.

The door was thrust open suddenly and supplies were tossed into the floor.

Grissom picked up the sheets and blankets, handing a set to Sara.

Once the beds were made, each lay down.

It felt odd lying side by side.

"You didn't have to….do that," he said breaking the silence.

"Do what?"

"You could have let me handle it. I would have found a way….you didn't even give me a chance…just unzipped and…" His voice trailed off as he realized how angry he was over the shower incident.

He had wanted to protect her and yet she had not even given him a chance to do so.

Sara's feet hit the cold icy floor as she sat up.

"Wait, you're mad at me because…."

She was too angry to finish.

"I was going to reason with them," he said.

Her eyes grew wide. "Reason…with them?"

"I'm trained…I could have cleansed us…both…without you…you didn't have to strip in front of…him."

"Him?" she asked hollowly.

"Dover."

So he had noticed how the man had been attracted to Sara.

Sara's hands gripped the side of the bunk.

"There's no reasoning with men….like him."

So she had noticed Dover as well.

It did not make him feel any better about what had transpired.

His glare bore a hole into her as she glared back at him.

"They can use force as you reminded me out there. No, Grissom, I don't want to be tasered so I followed orders."

"You should have let me handle…"

"And do what? Convince them that I prefer…"

"I could have…it would have been easier if I had…done that…than him."

"Easier for you…or me?"

"You preferred to have Dover…"

The lights went out and they were suddenly thrust into darkness.

The room was silent for a moment.

"Did it matter Grissom? Dover didn't hide his intentions…he saw what he wanted to see…you've hid for the last several years…I don't want or need your chivalry. At least Dover's feelings are more honest than yours."

Both were grateful for the darkness.

Note from author:

Ouch…well, this has gotten off to a good start…both mad…both clueless…GSR.

Take care,

Penny


	3. Chapter 3

**Note from author:**

I don't want to give the story away but I felt the need to point out that in many of my stories, things are not as they **appear**…sorry for being cryptic. There is a small background story that flows throughout the story…explains a lot…so hang in there.

**Chapter Three:**

**Setting Boundaries**

Just as quickly as they were thrown into darkness then the light reappeared several hours later.

Neither had slept.

Breakfast was rather tasteless.

Sara had crunched up her nose at the imitation bacon and eaten a piece of toast.

Grissom scribbled a note of her vegetarian diet, leaving it with the tray.

Both still felt exhausted.

The beds were far from comfortable and it was difficult adjusting to the mournful sounds from the other patients.

Sara stepped into the bathroom only to quickly return.

She had needed to go to the bathroom for hours but dreaded the task of coming to terms with what she would have to endure for the next month…with Grissom.

The bathroom smelled of male urine and she fought down the urge to vomit.

"Sara…"

She banged on the door before he could get to his feet.

Rogers appeared and relief washed over Grissom.

"Cleaning supplies…I want towels, cleaning supplies, more blankets, and turn up the damn heat."

Rogers glanced at Grissom.

"More supplies are on the way. Someone from your department is bringing some of your clothes….it will be awhile."

Sara took a deep breath. "Then get me the cleaning supplies and the towels for now."

Within minutes Sara had cleaned the bathroom.

When the task was done, she showered trying to warm her body.

She stepped out wearing the same orange suit, grabbed an extra blanket that had appeared and wrapped it around her.

Despite her request, the air remained quite cool.

"Should have asked for a hair dryer," he said staring at how miserable she looked with wet hair.

"They're not permitted," she answered.

He looked baffled.

"The cord….choking hazard," she explained.

"So are the chemicals you used to clean the bathroom," he reasoned.

"The janitor closet…I doubt they could find a hair dryer in this place."

She plopped down on the bed.

Twenty nine days remaining.

"I'm sorry I got you into this mess," he said softly.

"Bunk buddies for twenty nine more days," she gulped.

He swallowed.

The "old" Sara would have taken this turn of events as a means of getting closer but as he looked at her for the first time in months, she felt trapped by the situation.

There was no place to hide for either of them.

He wanted very much to protect her.

She paced as if she was some wild animal.

She looked at him warily when he offered conversation and he couldn't blame her.

There had been little conversation between them for weeks.

Their clothes appeared.

Sara was certain Catherine had done it by the choice of clothing that had been packed for her.

She pulled out a gown, several blouses that she had not seen out of her closet for far too long for her to remember and then her best jeans…no slacks.

Of course her best lingerie were there as well…some she had never even worn, not wanting to waste them on herself and well, since there was no male to admire them they had remained stuffed in the back of her drawer until now.

_Thanks, Catherine…_

There was not a single pair of sweats.

Sara plastered a smile on her face.

"I can't wear these," she muttered as she proceeded to bang on the door.

Dover appeared this time and she backed away.

"Need something?" he asked.

"I want to send a note….to…someone," she said.

He glanced at her empty hands. "Where is it?" he asked sounding rather rude.

"I don't have a pencil…or paper," she said defensively.

They appeared.

Sara scribbled a note for Brass and shoved it under the door.

"Is there a problem?" asked Grissom.

"I would prefer sweats….it's cold in here."

He tossed her a pair. "It may be big but…"

She tossed them back. "No thanks."

"I made another list…specific things this time," she explained.

"Like what?" he asked.

"Things I need," she replied sounding irritable.

"Are you always this irritable in the morning?"

"I want clothes that I can wear…in here…things I need."

"What's wrong with the things they sent?"

"I don't need those things… here," she griped as she marched into the bathroom, and he was certain she only did it in order to get away from him.

He quietly stepped over to the pile of clothing, sifting through it.

He gulped at the sight of the lingerie as well as the gown.

His eyes caught sight of the low cut blouses that he could not imagine Sara wearing and wondered if they really belonged to her.

Worse, he could not imagine seeing Dover's expression when he saw Sara sporting one of those blouses or…the gown.

The bathroom door opened and he was caught red handed with the blouse in his hand.

"You're right…these aren't appropriate," he announced trying to find some common ground.

_Of course, you would object…to me wearing them…but Catherine…_

She snatched them out of his hand.

She was gone in a flash once more and he wondered if he would ever get a turn in the bathroom.

He gawked the moment she stepped out sporting a low cut blouse and black slacks that showed off more than just her curves.

Her belly button was exposed and he cursed at the effect it had on him.

He thought he saw a glint of gold and thought to ask her if her belly button was pierced but thought better of it.

"What?" she asked hoping that her appearance would stir something in his male ego.

"Chalk," he managed to get out.

"Chalk?" she asked.

He grabbed a piece of notebook paper and jotted down a few things but he circled chalk.

"What's so important about chalk?" she asked.

He did not reply but merely folded his arms and pretended to sleep.

It infuriated her.

He had not even given her a good stare.

She knew that if Dover saw her in this he would most likely drool.

She shuddered at the thought of being seen by Dover but she couldn't very well change now.

_Way to go, Sara…_

_Careful or…_

She wrapped a blanket around her for warmth and curled up in her own bed.

She had turned heads with this outfit and yet Grissom had seemed unaffected by it.

She lay there cursing inwardly at her predicament.

The outfit was very becoming and she considered it her best choice for dates.

She had gotten lots of looks.

_Not from Grissom…_

He seemed repulsed by her appearance.

She huffed.

No doubt Dover would soon appear at the door and she would have to suffer from his unclothing her with his eyes.

Grissom felt her eyes and rolled away from her.

It bothered her.

She rolled onto her back and stared up at the ceiling.

She knew he was awake but she let him lay there, not bothering him.

The chalk intrigued her but there were more important things to ponder.

_Why not a hospital?_

_Why here?_

It bugged her.

Finally just as he began to doze she shook Grissom. "Grissom, wake up," she whispered.

He scrambled to a sitting position. "What's wrong?"

"This!" she whispered.

She was sitting on his bed.

Of course it was wrong.

They needed to keep their distance.

"Sara, why did you wake me?"

"Don't you find all of this surreal?"

"What…"

He looked around as he rubbed his eyes.

"Why here? Why not a hospital?"

"Sara…" he didn't have the answers.

Every time he tried to ask why they were being held at the institute, Rogers was pulled away.

Sara was right.

Things did not make sense but he didn't want her to worry much less begin interrogating the two physicians.

"I'm going to find out," she vowed.

She headed for the door but he stopped, banging on the door himself.

"We need to see…Rogers," ordered Grissom to one of the guards.

The guard disappeared but Rogers returned.

"Is there a problem?" he asked. "Any rashes or…"

"Why are we here?" demanded Grissom.

"Because you might have been contaminated."

"Why not Desert Palms?"

It was obvious Rogers was withholding information.

"Look, the governor made the decision. He didn't want to risk a public panic by bringing you to a hospital."

Sara stepped forward. "They took those firemen six months ago when they were suspected of…"

Rogers leaned in. "There's an unknown celebrity…having surgery at Desert Palms. An entire floor of the hospital has already been reserved. They couldn't risk bringing you there…taking up more space."

"Wait, we got bumped from a hospital to this dump because of some celebrity?" asked Sara.

"There are other hospitals," pointed out Grissom.

Sara's eyebrow went up.

_I should have thought about that…_

_Maybe I'm just as tired as Grissom…_

"Our entire staff is here," interjected Rogers. "We're used to working in unusual places in the field. I assure you, you're getting the same quality care as you would in the hospital."

"Who agreed to this?" asked Grissom.

"Conrad Ecklie."

_Bastard…_

Rogers stepped toward the door but spoke softly. "Between you and me, it was not the plague. We just don't know what you were exposed to... but look at it as a paid vacation."

"Yippee," muttered Sara.

Once Rogers left, Sara threw her hands into the air.

"That's bullshit…all of it."

Grissom rubbed his eyes once more.

"You would agree if you were not so sleep deprived. Grissom, there is something else…going on," whispered Sara.

He hoped she was wrong.

They were in a lock down facility and were at their mercy.

Their supplies arrived along with lunch.

It was just as well.

Lunch was just as awful as breakfast.

She set his things down on a chair as she began to make her bed.

She put her clothes in the only closet available making sure to leave him plenty of space.

She felt better in the casual clothes as well as the warmth from the sweats.

She sat there on the bunk bed and waited for him to wake but when he continued to sleep for another hour, she decided to take matters into her own hands.

He felt her even before she touched his shoulder.

He scrambled from the bed as if startled by her presence.

"Supplies arrived," she announced.

He glanced at the stack of things and then at her appearance. "Much better."

She glanced at the loosely fitting sweats and almost wanted to risk putting on the slacks and top again but returned to her bunk to lick her wounds in private.

He quickly disappeared into the bathroom but returned in sweats as well.

He opened the closet and saw that her things were still in the bag.

He hung his shirts and then neatly took the folded clothes placing them on the shelf in the closet.

He put the empty garment bag under his bed.

She held up the chalk.

"Your chalk," she announced.

She'd done nothing but think about that chalk and now she would know what he planned to do with it.

He took the chalk and breathed in deeply.

She watched as he drew a line on the floor.

"This is your side. This is mine," he announced.

She swallowed.

"You're kidding, right?" she asked.

His stomach knotted when her face fell.

Sara gawked at the chalk line.

"Since we're going to be stuck here for…awhile we need to set boundaries," Grissom explained.

"Boundaries?" Sara asked.

"This is my…"

"You're uhm not kidding…are you?" she asked trying not to let her temper explode.

"We're both private people. This is going to be difficult. If we respect each other's space then I'm sure…"

"Good," she said.

He looked surprised.

"I'm glad you agree," he said.

_I should be happy, right?_

_Why do I feel so disappointed…_

Sara smoothed out the wrinkles on her bed as she picked up the notepad.

She scribbled a few things down on the list.

She slipped it under the door and then returned to her bed.

This time, Sara Sidle slept.

Hours passed and he was left to himself.

Grissom sat there looking confused and unsettled.

He knew she was upset.

But why?

He expected her to thank him for giving her the space she needed.

It was an absurd reaction.

Hours later another stack of things appeared.

Grissom left the items lying on the small table.

She woke an hour later.

"Your things arrived," he said trying not to let his curiosity show.

She picked up the things and set them on her bed.

She pushed her bed to the corner of the room.

She then slid the chair over and fastened the hooks to each side of the wall.

Grissom pretended not to notice as he read his magazine.

Sara strung the rope through the hooks and smiled when it was just the right length.

She then took the extra sheets and hung them over the rope forming a wall on her side of the room.

She pulled the walled sheet back and stepped into the bathroom.

He heard the water turn on and quietly slipped over to observe her handy work.

She had made a nice private room of sorts.

He grinned at her ingenuity.

He turned and gawked when she stepped out of the bathroom wearing the gown.

He wondered if a certain medic had been privilege to see Sara in the gown.

He had no idea why he felt a hint of jealousy.

He stared at her from head to toe.

"I'm sorry. Did you need the bathroom?" she asked.

He shook his head.

"No hair dryer but you can get a rope?" he asked sarcastically.

"Jim got the rope." She held up the dryer. "Dryer too."

"Oh."

He stepped aside and she disappeared behind the curtained wall.

Grissom stood there breathing in the scent of something quite wonderfully wicked.

Grissom stepped into the bathroom and showered.

He noticed she had placed her toiletries neatly on the shelf.

He showered leaving his things thrown about the bathroom.

He returned to his bunk, glancing over to her side of the room but the curtain hid his view.

He fumed.

There was a tap later on the door and dinner arrived.

Grissom took the food and set it on the table.

"Sara?"

Her head peaked out from behind the curtain.

"Food is here," he said.

She glanced down at the food.

"Looks like they forgot you're a vegetarian," said Grissom.

"I'm not hungry anyway," she replied as she disappeared behind the curtain again.

He looked confused.

He expected she would eat with him.

He expected a comment about finally getting to have a meal with him.

He expected a conversation.

He expected a lot of things but not this.

Grissom raked the meat off her plate placing it on his while he raked his vegetables onto her plate.

He tapped on the curtain.

She reappeared.

"I fixed it," he said.

"Thank you but that really wasn't necessary," she replied.

He handed her the plate anyway.

He sat down at the table expecting her to join him but instead she disappeared behind the curtain once again.

He frowned.

He left the half eaten meal and returned to his bunk.

She pulled the curtain back and set the plate on the table.

He noticed she had eaten little as well.

"I guess we should try sending a menu next time," he said trying his best to strike up a conversation.

"Snacks would be good," she commented.

He smiled grabbing the notepad and sitting up on the bed.

"What would you…"

He glanced up and she was already on the other side of the curtain.

"I'm making a list," he called. "Want anything?"

He frowned when she did not respond.

"Sara!" he called.

When she did not respond again, he walked over to the other side of the room and yanked the curtain back.

She lay there on top of the bunk bed.

Her eyes were closed and she appeared to be listening to an ipod.

She quickly scrambled for a blanket to cover herself and he felt as if he were intruding.

"I'm uhm sorry. I was making a list," he explained. "What kind of snacks would you prefer?"

"Fruit," she replied.

_It figured…_

"Anything else?" he asked. "Might as well ask for the best such as chips, cookies, ice cream…"

He stopped when she made a face.

It was obvious Sara Sidle did not dabble in the fatty side of food.

He decided on a huge bag of cheese puffs.

"I doubt we will get any special treatment when it comes to food," she sighed.

"You got rope….that's a choking hazard," he shot back.

"Yes it is," she replied and he wondered if he should be worried by the comment.

The gown was quite beautiful on her and he gulped.

**He** gulped.

"Are you alright?" she asked sounding concerned.

He quickly stepped back letting the curtain fall back into place.

Sara smiled.

Yes, she had gotten a reaction from Gilbert Grissom.

Note from author:

Thanks for being so patient until fanfiction allowed postings again. We can now continue with the story!

Take care!


	4. Chapter 4

**Note from author:**

I thought since we had gone all weekend without Fanfiction that I would post just one more chapter for tonight. Thanks to everyone leaving a review. Thanks to the new readers and thanks to those that have become dear friends.

Sleep well tonight and take care!

**Chapter Four:**

**Looking Over Boundaries**

She said nothing when the light was turned out of the room unexpectedly.

He rolled over to his side and stared in her direction.

He wondered what she was doing behind that damn curtain.

Sara flipped on the small flashlight and laid it on the side of her bed.

_I should have thought about that…_

_I'll ask for my small lamp…_

_I wonder if Catherine has thought to feed my animals…._

She stood slipping the gown over her head.

Grissom was mesmerized by her silhouette.

_Oh God, she sleeps in the nude…_

He choked on his own drool and sat up in bed trying to recover from the shock.

"Sorry," he choked out.

"No problem…or is there?" she asked.

"I usually have a glass of water near my bed," he managed to get out.

"Want me to get you…"

"No! I can manage," he grumbled.

He rolled over to stare into the darkness.

The small light from the flashlight remained on.

He watched as the light twirled around and around.

Just as he was about to comment about the light, it became stationary again.

Her hands came up in front of the light casting shadows.

There was a slight smirk.

He grinned at her playful side.

"Having fun?" he asked.

The light was extinguished immediately.

The room became pitch black.

"I'm sorry Sara. It wasn't bothering me," he said softly.

"I'll uhm just listen to my ipod," she replied.

It's not what he wanted.

He was fascinated that she played.

It was pure and innocent.

He hoped she would turn the flashlight back on but the room remained dark except for the light underneath the door.

He cursed inwardly.

He lay there and wondered if she were still awake.

Her side was quiet.

He rolled several times.

He even sat up hoping she would notice.

If she did, she said nothing this time.

He sat there for several minutes until the cool air made him reach for his blanket.

It was then he heard the slight stir.

He listened intently as she murmured something.

He stood.

The slight moans sent shivers down his back.

It was a mournful cry and it unsettled him.

He shuffled from foot to foot as he waited to see if she would awaken.

He walked to the curtain but forced himself to stop.

_She's nude, Grissom…_

_You can't just go over there and…_

He waited a moment and then returned to his bed.

The mournful cry was replaced by a gasp as she practically scrambled from the bed.

He could make out her shaking body as she tried to calm herself.

She breathed in deeply, stepping back into the bed.

He kept perfectly still as he pretended to sleep.

There was no need to make her feel ashamed for the nightmare.

He'd had a few his self lately.

The room was silent again.

He silently turned his head the moment he heard the first quiet sob that came from the other side of the room.

If their relationship had been on better terms he would have gone over there but he wasn't sure of the boundaries anymore.

The recent DWI had stifled any secrets she shared with him.

It was his fault.

He had not handled that very well.

He closed his eyes and fought the urge to go to her.

An hour passed and he knew she was asleep again.

He tiptoed to the other side.

She lay there curled into a tight ball.

A hiccup escaped and his head reached out to comfort her but stopped in midair for fear he would awaken her.

She'd had nightmares about this place.

He knew that for a fact.

He'd overheard a few locker conversations.

It was strange that she confided in Warrick from time to time.

He would always listen while she told him only half truths but enough for him to understand that Sara carried a few battle scars from childhood.

They were kindred spirits in that department.

Warrick however, never held back.

He spoke lovingly about his grandmother who had raised him but he also spoke about the cruelty by his parents.

_Sara leaned against the locker door._

_The clang of Warrick's locker startled Sara._

"_I know it's been a week but…how you holding up? Brass told us Adam isn't going to be tried for murder; unable to stand trial at this time," he said._

_Warrick noticed the scarf around Sara's neck. "He's still got a hold on you…doesn't he?"_

_Sara's hand touched the scarf. "I can't seem to shake him…he's tough…he had to be to survive what his mother did to him."_

"_The victim became a perp….that was his choice, Sara."_

"_You had the night off?" she asked changing the subject. _

"_Some night off," he muttered. "My grandmother's been harping on me to come for a visit. I spent it wedged in between my grandmother and this young girl who sings in the choir at her church."_

_Sara smiled. "She wants you to be happy."_

"_Yeah, she does. She comes looking for me if I haven't checked in for awhile. It's good to have someone like that…you know?"_

_Sara never remembered a time when she had anyone._

_She merely nodded._

"_You got folks?" he asked._

_He knew the answer but he offered her an outlet._

"_My father died…my mom and I…we don't…your grandmother sounds great. A boy needs someone to keep them in line," she teased._

"_Guys can get themselves in a mess sometimes. You wouldn't do that…would you?" he asked as he eyed her trembling hands._

"_Of course not."_

_Sara intended to get completely plastered the moment she stepped inside her apartment._

_It would help keep the dreams away._

_She was not up to another fight with Adam Trent._

_He'd managed a permanent spot in her dreams of late._

_Sara was surprised when Warrick slid over to sit beside her._

"_My folks….I was better off without them but their mistakes…they made me strong…you know what I mean cookie?"_

_Sara nodded. _

"_These things we see…or these things that happen to us here…leave them here. Don't take them home with you."_

"_I try. Dreams…are another thing."_

"_I used to have nightmares…about the day my mother left me in a car…she told me to sit there and she would be back. Hours went by and she never returned. It was cold and…strangers walked by, peering inside…but no one…stopped."_

"_How old…uhm were you?"_

"_Six."_

"_I never saw my mother again," he said. _

"_How long…did you wait?" she asked._

"_Two days," he said. "Two days I sat there in that car and no one questioned why a little boy was there alone. No one even questioned when I slipped in and out of stores unaccompanied, finding a bathroom and rushing back for fear she would return to the car and leave me." He laughed sadly. "She had left me and I didn't even know it."_

_Sara's hand slipped into Warrick's._

"_Sometimes you feel like the world doesn't even notice you," she whispered._

"_I see you, cookie. I'll be checking on you too," he said with a smile._

"_How did you make the nightmare stop?" she asked._

"_I still have it. I guess some scars are just too deep. You know what I mean?" he asked._

_She nodded as she swiped at a tear. "Yeah, I do."_

"_Just remember, I'm watching you," he teased as he hugged her tight._

"_Night Rick."_

_Grissom stood on the other side of the lockers._

_He stepped into view but they were gone._

Grissom sat on the edge of his bed.

_I see you, Sara…_

_I've always seen you…_

This time when he heard the slight whimper he did not hesitate to cross the chalk line.

She scrambled from the bed the moment he stepped near the bed.

"You okay?" he asked.

She nodded.

He hoped she would confide in him but those times were past.

He'd used what information she had given him and turned it over to her PEAP counselor.

Sara had felt betrayed even though he hoped it would help her.

Now, he regretted his actions.

He knew it was the biggest mistake he had ever made.

Once upon a time Sara Sidle had entrusted him with her deepest, darkest secrets but now she skidded away from any mention of troubling thoughts.

For Sara, he violated a sacred trust not given to many and at this moment he would give anything to get it back.

She tried to collect herself but the dream had been disturbing.

"Anything I can do?" he asked.

"I'm fine," she lied.

"Sara…"

She choked down a quiet sob.

"We could…"

"I don't trust…you," she whispered.

There- it was finally said.

He suspected it and now her words confirmed it.

She rolled away from him and he retreated as if he had been physically wounded by her words.

Both wondered how they would survive in this hell they were in.

**Note from author:**

Well, nothing good is ever easy...

Take care!


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five:**

**What's Eating Sara Sidle?**

He could not believe his ears when she finally spoke to him again.

Both had not said a word to one another in hours and now she stood there in the middle of the room.

She seemed a bit restless.

Despite lying in bed, he was bone weary from the verbal assaults or the lack of confrontation.

It was assaults followed by nothingness.

He didn't know which was worse as he rode through the roller coaster of emotions.

Sara Sidle could say more with a look.

Some looks spoke volumes and he decided it was best to just stay clear of any form of contact with her.

"What uhm day is it?" she asked again.

"Thursday," he announced.

"No….what date?" she clarified.

"The 27th of June," he further answered. "I'm sure they would give you a calendar…mark off the days like inmates do…" He didn't finish.

He seemed to be miserable at comforting someone.

He wasn't sure but he felt a sense of sadness engulf her.

"It's not like prison," he corrected.

He wondered if the imagery made her think about her mother.

_Great Grissom…_

_You're doing great…_

Another sleepless night followed.

It was hard getting used to sleeping during the night after years of the graveyard shift.

The screams did not help matters.

He didn't want to think about the screams at the moment but rather a certain brunette who seemed at odds with even herself.

He knew she had not slept well.

Sara's feet could be heard padding off to the bathroom a couple of times during the night.

What little sleep each had managed to get did not help to replenish the sleep that had been lost prior to their admittance here.

Each remained sleep deprived.

Perhaps it was because of this lack of sleep that her attitude took a turn for the worse.

The curtain flew back as she marched into the bathroom.

Minutes later she returned.

He glanced up briefly but quickly diverted his eyes from making any contact with her.

Avoidance was safer at the moment.

He could not avoid her when she stood in front of him with arms folded.

"Yes?"

"You're a slob," she announced.

He dropped his pencil onto the bed as his feet hit the floor.

"I'm what?" he asked.

"A slob. By the way number six down is…."

His hand went up in the air. He took a deep breath. "Is there a problem?"

"You squeeze the toothpaste in the middle rather than the end…the soap is always on the floor of the shower and you use more than your share of the towels."

"And that makes me a slob? Sara, even if we brushed our teeth three times a day, we are not going to risk using the entire tube of toothpaste before we get out of this place at which time the tube will be thrown away because neither of us use that brand. Soap gets slippery and falls. Would you like for me to dry it off before I leave the shower? I don't use more towels. You don't count the towels you use to clean the bathroom."

"Would you prefer that I leave it dirty? There were germs…not our germs….nasty germs when we got here and I for one plan to leave here without them!"

He almost smirked but cleared his throat. "I appreciate the fact that you…"

"Iniquity."

He thought she was losing her mind.

"Iniquity," she repeated.

He looked baffled.

"Number six down is…"

He ripped the crossword puzzle out of his book and tossed it in the trash.

"You don't want to finish the puzzle just because I answered one…."

"I asked you not to," he seethed.

"No, you threw up your hand as if you wanted to say something before I finished so I let you…but then I forgot...until now."

"You did that on purpose," he charged.

She turned on her heal but stopped. "You're a slob because you don't pick up in the bathroom."

"At least I fold my clothes," he said but regretted it the moment she turned on him.

"This is not a hotel…it's an insane asylum. You have no idea what the previous occupant did…in that…closet…before…my clothes are staying in the suitcase."

"You need to get over this germ thing…"

Oh now he had done it and he cringed the moment she went into a tirade about germs.

He let her ramble hoping she would finally unravel.

She left the subject of germs and returned to toothpaste and the environment and waste and several other topics he had no desire to listen to but he did.

Where else could he go?

He was trapped here with Sara.

Doc warned him about days like this.

The moment he stepped into the morgue and got his head bit off, he knew that Doc's wife was menstruating.

_Take my word for it," said Doc. "Women go nuts for one week out of the month and the week before that isn't much better," he muttered._

"_So you're telling me there's only two weeks out of the month in which you like your wife?"_

"_Pretty much."_

"_Then why did you marry her?" asked Grissom._

"_Because I love her you knit wit."_

"_Love…is worth two weeks of misery every month?"_

"_No…the sex is," piped in Brass. "Just make sure you're the only one receiving freebies…my ex shared a lot."_

"_I so would like to talk about my case," grumbled Grissom._

"_Just wait until he has to put up with…never mind. I'm not sure anyone would put up with Gilbert Grissom," chuckled Doc._

"_Can we refocus here?" griped Grissom._

"_You sound like my wife," replied Doc as he mocked his wife. "You don't focus…you don't notice me…you don't pay any attention to me…I swear she gets very needy during this time of the month."_

"_It's worth it, isn't it?" asked David._

"_Every crazy moment," smiled Doc._

"_Focus here…now!" yelled Grissom._

"_Yes, dear," chided Doc._

When she finished her rant, she looked at him for a reply.

"Is it that time of the month?"

It was as if a grenade had been launched.

He ran for cover but she blocked him from his only means of escape.

"You're not going in that bathroom unless you agree to keep it neat," she spat.

"What's next? A lecture on putting the toilet seat down or…"

"We could talk about hairs being left in the sink when you trim that beard of yours."

"I won't trim it anymore," he announced sounding rather irritated.

"Oh great, go caveman on me," she snipped.

He stepped to the side and fumed when she blocked his entrance to the bathroom.

"Sara, move out of the way," he warned.

"Your word," she demanded.

"Let's talk about razors," he shot back.

"Razors?" she asked innocently.

"My razor…not yours…get your own to remove the hair on your legs…it's not like you need to do that in here…"

She looked shocked.

Of course, he didn't care if she grew hair on her legs since he never looked at her legs.

He decided that since he was risking his life and sanity, he might as well bring up the rest of it.

"And then there is the monopoly of the bathroom every morning when you have to run in here just when I have to…"

He didn't finish.

Her glare actually made him step back.

"If you want to use the bathroom then get up and just use it. Don't wait until I…"

"Like now?" he boomed.

"Am I to ask for permission before I go each morning?" she huffed.

"Go…then get out…you stay in there for over an hour. What do you do in there?"

_Oh God, I asked that?_

_I'll never get in the bathroom and I really have to go…_

"Look, this isn't going to be easy but a little communication…" she trailed off.

They both sucked at communication.

"May I go?" he asked.

She stepped to the side and let him pass.

He grabbed his crossword book and shut the door with a thud.

He stepped out a few minutes later and found her still standing where he had left her.

_This has to be that time of the month…_

"I've never shared a bathroom with someone since…ever since I've been on my own…I've not shared," she admitted.

_Mood swing…_

_Yep, it's definitely that time of the month…_

_Dead man walking…_

"News flash. Neither have I," he shot back.

"I like long showers," she admitted.

"I like completing puzzles on my own," he retorted.

"Look, I'm trying to…smooth things over," she said. "You should do the same."

"I didn't start it."

"Of course not, Grissom. It's never your fault."

She had made it to the other side of the curtain before he threw another grenade.

"Just like you to fight and flee."

She stopped immediately.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing," he muttered.

"Yes…you did. You just won't say it to my face!"

"I think it would be best if we didn't…"

"Don't worry Grissom. Nothing but…**this**…has ever happened between us."

"I guess it's good that we're not together then."

It was a direct hit.

It was one grenade that could not be retrieved and she did not even flinch but her eyes lowered as if in defeat.

It was cruel and he knew it.

She had been after him for a relationship for so long but he just didn't think he had it in him.

Both stood there, afraid to make the first move.

One wrong turn and it could mean disastrous for their distorted relationship.

Their words had become harsh.

Each could easily rip the other to shreds.

The door opened.

Rogers and Dover stood there.

"It's been seventy- two hours," announced Rogers.

"Are we being released?" asked Sara.

"Not quite. Most persons tend to go at each other after the seventy- two hour mark. Now is your last chance to move to separate rooms," said Rogers.

Dover stood there quietly.

Grissom's gut clenched.

_If we separate, Dover can…_

Sara glanced at Rogers but she refused to look in Dover's direction.

She knew Dover would be a problem.

She also knew she was not up to the bickering.

She had no idea why she attacked him except that she needed a reaction out of him…anything that would indicate that he saw **her.**

"So what's it going to be?" asked Rogers.

Dover silently waited for an answer.

Note from author:

What do you think Sara is going to say?

Take care!


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six:**

**What Not to Say**

"As I said before, we're staying together," said Grissom.

He dared not glance at Sara and he prayed she would not contradict him.

Rogers looked at Sara. "Okay. This was your last chance."

Dover stole a look at Sara just as they left.

As soon as the door shut, Sara turned on Grissom.

"So you speak for both of us?" she asked.

"I speak when I see my employee about to put herself at risk…like you've done before."

"What are you talking about?"

Both eyes locked.

"Strip strangler case," she breathed.

"You had no business…"

"I can't believe you're still….do you know how long it has been since…I am not putting myself at risk here…besides this is no case Grissom. We are stuck here until they release us…and yes, it is like prison."

"You should be careful," he said softly.

"Careful?"

"Sara…you go to a private room and Dover has access…"

"I can handle Dover."

His eyes grew dark. "Really? I guess you never learned anything from the strip strangler case. Some men like women who fight back. They get off."

"Look Dover is a sleez…nothing more. He likes to look…but he's not going to risk his job. I see men like him all the time. The bars…are full of them."

Grissom's eyes shot back up from the crossword book.

"Now what?"

"You said it. I didn't," he said.

"I don't frequent bars, Grissom. I hadn't been to a bar in over a year when Nick and Warrick decided to celebrate Nick's almost promotion. You remember, the position you recommended him for…not me."

"I had my reasons," said Grissom quietly.

"Yeah. You told me," she spat.

"Let's just stop talking," he grumbled.

"Nick didn't want it. You knew that I did so you…"

He rose from this bed, throwing down the crossword book.

"You were drinking…showing up late at crime scenes. You were popping cough drops every time I rounded the corner…Jim recognized the signs too. He talked with you…and then me."

"I did my job. There is nothing wrong with an occasional drink. You and Brass…as well as Catherine did that a lot."

"Sara…"

"Do I analyze you? Do I go to Ecklie and…"

"I don't analyze you. I was helping…it's more than you were doing for yourself," he threw out.

"It's one thing to send me to counseling and it's another to tell my counselor…things…that you had no business…"

"Sara, she couldn't help you unless she knew about…your past."

"It really helped didn't it?"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

Sara stomped over to her bed and plopped down on it.

"As your boss, I'm responsible for discussing your counseling with your PEAP," he said just beyond the curtain.

She jerked the curtain back.

"I was talking to what I thought was my friend and not my **boss **when I told you those things!"

"Aren't I both?"

"Shut up, Grissom!"

He knew he should have prepared Sara of his intentions rather than letting her get broadsided by the counselor.

He would never forget the night she called in sick.

"_Has anyone seen Sara?" asked Grissom._

_Judy glanced up from her magazine._

"_She called in sick," she said. "Sounded pretty awful."_

_Grissom's coffee cup stopped in mid-air._

"_Catherine, I've got something I need to do," said Grissom as he poured out the remaining contents of his cup._

"_You don't have a meeting with Ecklie..do you? Not trying to dump an evaluation or…"_

_Catherine did not finish as Grissom had already disappeared from the break room._

_He knocked on the door and waited._

_He knew she was at home since her car was parked outside._

_When she did not respond, he tried again._

_He glanced at his watch._

_He banged once more._

_Sara thrust the door open._

"_Can I come in?" he asked._

"_I called in sick. I'm entitled to a sick day," she said._

"_Yes…you are. I was concerned. Judy said you didn't sound good. Are you okay?"_

"_You've never come here before…unless I've done something…what is it Grissom?"_

"_You rarely call in sick," he admitted._

"_It's back problems," she gritted._

"_Back Problems? I didn't know you had…"_

"_Yeah, well I never saw it coming…the thrust in the back by…you!"_

_He understood her meaning._

_He had guessed correctly._

_She had met with her PEAP counselor._

_He was sure she was confronted with some of the things he had divulged to her counselor._

"_I thought it might be that," he said. "Sara, you can't expect them to help you if you don't…"_

"_That was my decision…not yours."_

_Grissom glanced around. "May I come in?"_

_Sara opened the door and he slipped inside._

"_I'm sorry if you feel betrayed."_

"_Betrayed? You're worse than a snitch! You pretended to be my friend…to care and then you…"_

"_I am your friend. I do care…as your boss…"_

"_Get out!" she yelled._

"_Sara…"_

"_I mean it. You had no right! You just let me walk in there and…I trusted you! I don't just trust…anyone…that was cruel."_

"_Yes, it was," he said softly trying to diffuse her anger._

_She slumped down on the couch burying her head in her hands._

_His hand reached out to stroke her hair but she jerked away._

"_Never again," she cried. "I'll never confide in you again!"_

"_It's the reason why you drink," he gently said._

"_You think you know me?" she cried._

"_I know you drink every time there's a rape case," he answered._

_She flinched._

"_You think by telling her…that I'm going to get better? You're so stupid when it comes to life Grissom. She can't help me because of you! I can't divulge everything to her because of you! I protect you!"_

_He did not follow her rant._

"_Protect me from what?"_

"_So you think it won't matter if I tell the counselor that the only reason I came to Vegas was because you were more than a boss to me? You think the counselor will understand that I throw myself at you and you shoot me down all the time but yet you don't want me to leave because the lab needs me? You tell me to get a diversion and when I do you yank me back like some yoyo? Who needs the counseling more? Me or you?"_

"_I brought you to Vegas because you're a great criminalist. I want you to stay because you are needed in the lab. You got the wrong diversion...you can do better than Hank."_

"_Get out, Grissom. Stay away from my heart. You've broken it for the last time."_

Grissom sighed.

She had practically thrown him out of her apartment with one glare.

He had left feeling as if he had lost much more than she.

The weeks that followed had not been good.

Both pretended as if their conversation had never taken place.

He never mentioned the way she cried and called him a few words he had never heard uttered from her mouth.

She never mentioned the way she started drinking again to ease the pain of knowing her station in Grissom's life.

Catherine stomped into Ecklie's office, sliding into a seat.

"Is there a problem Catherine?" asked Ecklie.

"There are several."

"Care to elaborate?"

"Cut the crap Conrad. Something is up and I figure you know a lot more than what you're telling us."

Conrad grinned as he tossed a file into his basket.

"Okay, let's start with the problems so we can clear up anything that might be bothering you."

"Sara and Gil are not in a hospital for observation."

"The governor didn't want a…panic," he explained.

"Since when does the governor take orders from the C.D.C….particularly ours?" she huffed.

"Catherine…I'm telling you what I was told. The C.D.C. decided to put them in a different location…a secure location."

"Where?"

Conrad remained quiet.

"Where?" asked Catherine leaning forward, showing far too much cleavage.

Conrad licked his lips.

"Where?" she demanded.

Brass stepped into the room.

"Has he told you?" asked Brass.

"No," replied Catherine.

"I took the liberty of following the second set of clothing for Sara."

"What was wrong with what I picked out?" whined Catherine.

Brass rolled his eyes. "They're not on vacation."

"Yeah, well she has nice clothes. She should wear some of it more often."

"Can we get back to…" Brass was interrupted by Catherine.

"Do you know?" Catherine asked Brass.

He handed her the address.

"You're kidding." Catherine glared at Ecklie. "What the hell is going on!"

"Willows…"

"You agreed to this!" she spat. "Either you tell us what's up or we'll do some digging of our own."

"May I remind you that I make the decisions. I…."

"So help me, Conrad, unless you want me to spread some hot juicy garbage into the grapevine sewer, you had better tell us."

"The C.D.C. came to us six months ago. They wanted us to assist with a training exercise. We agreed…the undersheriff thought it would be good publicity."

"Does Grissom and Sara know about this?" asked Brass.

"Of course," lied Ecklie.

"So there is no plague scare. There is no risk to their lives?" asked Catherine.

"Just being confined for thirty days," replied Ecklie.

"You could have told us!" spat Catherine.

"The less anyone knew the better the realism…for the C.D.C. workers."

Conrad smiled when he saw they had bought it.

It was the truth, well, part of it anyway.

Lunch came and went.

Hours ticked by.

"_What day is it?"_

"_It's 27__th__ of June"_

She needed a drink in the worst way.

Having Grissom so close was pure torture for her.

He obviously was affected by her presence as well, having split the room in half with the chalk.

She wondered if perhaps it would be best to have separate rooms but even though his presence bothered her in the worst way, she wasn't eager to be alone.

The more she thought about the drink the more she wanted one.

She could just imagine the sensation of the poisonous liquid slipping down her throat, burning as it went.

It always seemed to take the edge off.

"I need a drink," she blurted out before she could stop herself.

"There're some sodas," he pointed out.

_Of course, she only drinks healthy stuff…._

_Like a soda is going to…_

His eyes watched her from a distance.

Something was definitely wrong.

His eyes took note of how her hands shook while she poured a glass of water and drank quickly.

There was no relief.

She slumped down on her bed only to roll a few times.

She was back on her feet within minutes, continuing the pace.

Her hand was on the door before she had time to think about the repercussions.

Dover appeared.

She took a deep breath.

"Orange juice and…vodka," she requested.

Grissom's feet hit the tiled floor.

Dover smiled. "So you like a good screw…driver…me too. Unfortunately we only have orange juice."

She had braved the request.

She turned to leave but his voice made her stop. "I could check with my superior."

He licked his lips.

Her stomach churned.

Dover waited for a verbal response.

"Please."

He smiled. "For you, Sara."

Grissom clenched his fist.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven:**

**Ultimatum**

Grissom could not believe his ears.

She was begging….to Dover… the slime ball.

Dover smiled. "I liked you in the gown," he announced.

Sara's eyes widened as the door was shut.

Sara let out her disgust.

_How did he see me in the gown?_

She dared not look in Grissom's direction.

"You don't need a drink," he announced.

She had not even bothered to notice the mounted camera in the steel case.

Dover had been watching her the entire time.

It sickened her.

She fled to the bathroom but soon returned with Grissom's shaving cream.

She grabbed a chair and attempted to reach it but it was too high.

"Not nice," came across the loud speaker.

"Shut it off," she yelled.

"Sorry but…"

Sara searched around the room for some means of reaching the camera.

"I need your shoulders," she blurted out.

He didn't hesitate.

The thought of that pervert Dover gawking at Sara convinced him he would try anything to rid them of the camera.

"Just sit," she ordered.

He sat down in the chair.

Before he could utter a word, she placed her foot between his legs and he gulped.

He instinctively held her waist as she gently stepped onto his shoulders.

Using the side of the wall, Sara stood on Grissom's shoulders.

She flipped off Dover who cursed the moment the camera went black.

She was quickly on the floor again as Grissom stared at the pillow case that now covered the camera.

"Better than shaving cream," she announced.

"Not nice Sara," announced Dover. "We'll just have to…"

"And I'll do it again. You don't have to monitor us….they are two of us in here…we can check each other for symptoms," she spat. "Turn off the intercom also or I'll rip it out and it can come out of your pay."

Grissom grinned.

This was the Sara Sidle he remembered.

He started to open his mouth but she had disappeared behind the curtain.

Hours went by and she knew there would be no alcohol.

It didn't help matters when he stepped to the edge of the curtain.

"Sara..."

"Leave me alone Grissom."

"How much do you drink?" he asked without thinking.

She glared at him. "It's none of your business."

"Jim tried to warn me but I told him I would know if one of my…." He stopped as he quickly diverted his eyes to the floor.

He had not meant to rehash their station in life.

"Go ahead and say it. I'm just one of your employees…nothing more."

"You're more than an employee," he admitted.

She turned when she felt her eyes mist.

God, how she missed their friendship!

"We don't have a friendship anymore," she said in a voice filled with hurt and despair.

Grissom glanced at the door. "No alcohol."

Her glare returned. "I can have whatever I want. The lab does not own me…neither do you."

He almost stumbled back but she felt a change in the air when he stepped closer and for the first time, she almost feared him.

"You promised you wouldn't drink," he glared.

She had.

She would have promised him anything after the look of disappointment on his face when he had arrived on her doorstop one evening and she had been drinking.

It was also the night she told him about her darkest secret.

He had been quite supportive of her.

She expected him to be angry but he wasn't.

He sat there for several hours letting her talk, holding her hand like he did when she divulged the domestic violence history in her family.

His voice had been soothing and comforting.

Everything changed when he had divulged that darkest secret to her counselor.

"I lied."

The stare off was intense.

Both refused to budge.

There was a tap on the door.

Both knew it was the guard returning with the answer.

Sara sprang from the bed and appeared in front of the small window.

"Sorry," he said.

She knew Grissom was probably gloating.

She knew her request would probably be denied.

"We can't allow vodka but you could have wine with your meals," he replied.

"Wine is fine," she replied.

She turned on her heels triumphantly but then her smugness left the moment she glanced in his direction.

Each took their side of the room.

Each felt a frigid coolness envelope the room.

The wine appeared with their meals.

Each took their food to their beds while the bottle of wine remained on the tray.

He touched very little of his food but she devoured her salad.

The wine bottle was there for the taking.

She returned the container to the tray.

He did the same.

As soon as her hands touched the wine bottle so did his.

"A glass of wine after dinner is not wrong," she declared.

His hands refused to release the bottle.

"Grissom let go."

"No."

"This is childish," she breathed.

"Jim was right."

"Over a bottle of wine….please."

"Then leave it alone."

"Fine."

She released the bottle and grabbed a bottled water.

He left the wine on the tray and returned to his bunk.

"_Well, this sucks," _he thought.

He'd just accused her being an alcoholic.

_If she was an alcoholic she would demand the bottle._

_Maybe she's not…_

Sara was back on her feet and now stood in front of the bottle.

"Sara, leave it alone."

"I'm having a glass. You can join me," she offered.

"No thanks. I don't need it."

"You don't need anything!" she spat.

His eyes glared at her with a glint of pain.

"Prove to me you don't need it," he challenged.

"Forget it," she said as she reached for it only to find his hand on the bottle as well.

"Let go," she demanded.

"If you touch that bottle you're fired."

It actually shocked her.

It shocked him as well.

She yanked on the bottle and he released it causing her to almost lose her balance.

She took the bottle to her side of the room, disappearing behind the curtain.

It was done.

She was fired.

He never wanted to give such an ultimatum.

He had no idea why he had.

Maybe he was tired of this boss/employee relationship.

Minutes seemed to dredge by without a sound.

Minutes turned into an hour and yet you could have heard a pin drop inside the room.

Grissom grabbed his book from his bedside table and opened it for some kind of distraction.

He had no idea when he woke but it was pitch black in the room except for the light streaming from the locked door.

His eyes tried to adjust as he sat up.

On the tray, he could make out an image.

It was the wine bottle.

"_Oh great,"_ he thought. _"She's finished off the bottle already."_

He could hear her on the other side.

He switched on the small night stand lamp he'd requested.

He could make out her form sitting on the edge of her bed, rocking back and forth.

"_She's drunk,"_ he thought. _"Serves her right if she gets sick."_

He heard the slight noise.

He'd heard it before.

He'd slipped into the locker room once or twice and caught her in tears.

It was usually after a really bad case or when he had been really insensitive or downright shitty to her.

Oh, he would never dream of using the word and in fact, the word "shitty" had never been in his vocabulary until he'd overheard Greg one evening in the locker room.

The word "shitty" entered his vocabulary and had never left.

Yes, Greg had been right.

The word fit when it came to how he treated Sara at times and for the life of him he had no idea why he did what he did sometimes.

Oh, he would have agreed that he could be an insensitive ass at times but when he had purposely flirted with Sofia in front of Sara, it redefined his actions.

Yes, he had been shitty.

Sometimes, he hated how observant Greg was at times.

"Sara?"

"Am I fired?" she asked.

Now was the real test.

"_If I say no, is she going to ask for another bottle?"_

"Yes."

Well that was done.

Silence returned.

He tried to focus on the book but couldn't.

He watched as she left her bunk to pace back and forth.

Her arms were wrapped tightly around herself as if she were entangled within herself.

An hour passed and she continued.

It was driving him nuts.

"Sara, stop," he warned.

"I'm not bothering you," she barely said above a whisper.

"Sleep," he ordered as he shut off the lamp and slipped down in his bunk.

She continued.

Another hour passed.

He threw the blankets off, marched over to her side of the room, intent to yell at her.

It was then he noticed the unopened wine bottle.

He was quite relieved until he realized he had just fired his best C. S.I.

She acted as if he were not standing there in the middle of the room.

Her pacing continued on her side.

She was quite pale in the stark light.

She seemed agitated.

_Hell, I just fired her for nothing…_

His eyes watched her move back and forth as if she were contemplating something so intensely that she had shut him completely out.

Her pacing was exhausting.

He quickly came to her side.

"I'm sorry. I thought you opened the bottle," he explained.

"I touched the bottle," she said hollowly.

"But you didn't open it….you're not fired," he announced sounding a bit put off that she would take him so literal.

She sidestepped him and continued.

"You're not fired," he repeated. "Do you understand?"

"I don't care. I really don't care anymore, Grissom."

She continued.

His hands grabbed her arms forcibly.

"Stop."

Her breathing appeared erratic.

His hands slid down her arms to hold her trembling hands.

"_Oh Christ, she's having withdrawal symptoms."_


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight:**

**Following the Clues**

By her symptoms she was only having a mild withdrawal and he was relieved to know that she had not been a heavy drinker.

Still, it pained him that she had resorted to drinking in order to deal with life in Vegas.

"Detox may take some time depending on the amount of alcohol you're used to."

His statement did not seem to register with her as she all but ignored him.

"It's going to be alright," he soothed. "I'll help you…I'm right her."

He was not prepared for her to thrust herself away from him, scurrying to the far corner of the room.

"I don't have a drinking problem!" she yelled.

He cautiously stepped toward her.

_Right…_

"Try to sleep," he urged as he crouched down in front of her ignoring the groan from his knees.

"I don't want to sleep," she gulped not liking the weakness that oozed from her pores at this moment.

"Why not?" he asked.

"Just leave me alone, Grissom," she pleaded.

Her head dropped onto her knees and was hid from his view.

He sat down on the floor beside her. "Why not?" he repeated.

"This is my side," she whispered.

"Why not?" he asked again.

A slight sob escaped her lips.

He felt retched as he leaned forward to hear her pitiful answer.

"I hate this day."

"_What? _

_What's wrong with this date? _

_It's not her birthday. _

_It's not the anniversary of when we first met. _

_It's not the day I told her to get a diversion. _

_It's not the day I declined dinner…"_

He sat there holding her hand, letting his fingers caress her palm without even realizing he was doing it.

Comforting her just came naturally.

"I'm not sorry he's dead," she sniffled.

It was then the realization hit him like a brick wall.

"_It's the day your mother killed your father….the day you went into foster care."_

Now, it seemed to make sense.

Her behavior patterns were something that he had tracked privately like some sort of experiment and he had wondered what caused her to seem a bit melancholy during this month and now he knew the reason.

He had no idea what to say.

He felt just as helpless as he did that day in her apartment when she had finally divulged her past.

He had sat there letting her talk, watching her resolve crack before bursting into tears.

He had stupidly held her hand.

His hand had been the only comfort he had offered that day.

She had completely exposed herself to him and he had only offered to hold her hand.

Oh, he had saved her job.

He'd kept her in Vegas sending her to a stranger for counseling while he justified his hand holding as being enough.

It wasn't enough.

It wasn't enough when she told him about the rape.

He knew it and it had eaten at him ever since.

Now, he had another chance.

He inched his way over to her as he sat there beside her.

His arm wrapped around her shoulders pulling her against him.

He was not prepared for her to fold into him.

Her head hid in his shoulder while her arms wrapped around his waist.

Her long slender legs entangled with his.

In one fluid motion he shifted and brought her into his lap fully.

He sat there holding her as if she were a child.

One hand cradled her head while the other stroked her hair.

He felt her tears as his t-shirt became wet but he didn't care.

He was holding Sara Sidle.

He was comforting **her** and it felt damn good.

The trembling eased.

Slowly her body relaxed against his.

A kiss was planted on her head by him as he continued to comfort her.

Slowly her head drifted up.

He knew she had fallen asleep but he could not bring himself to wake her.

It felt so good to hold her like this.

Her head was now tilted toward his chin.

She seemed quite young as he stared intently at the woman he could throttle one moment and make love to the next.

He gently swiped the last remaining tears from her cheeks.

He boldly kissed her on the lips, feeling his heart skip a beat from his boldness.

He could easily get used to this.

Gently he shifted her so that he was holding her more intimately.

Cheek to cheek he held her.

An hour later, she jerked awake.

His hand quickly rubbed her back and she relaxed.

"I'm sorry," she murmured. "You've got to be uncomfortable here on the floor."

She scooted from his lap disappearing into the bathroom.

He was glad for the privacy since it was rather hard to get up from the floor with age old knees and a hard on that had been rather painfully pleasurable.

The shower was on.

He returned to his bunk, rolling to his side, listening to the water.

She emerged a few minutes later wearing the gown.

He wondered if she had ever worn the gown for Hank.

The thought hit a sore spot on his heart and he quickly dismissed the irritation from his thoughts.

She sat down on her bunk with her hands bracing the edge of the bunk.

Neither said a word.

Minutes passed by.

Grissom switched off the lamp, hoping she would go to sleep.

She sat there in the darkness.

His eyes waited to adjust, hoping she had gotten into bed but she remained sitting there in the same position.

He sat up in the bed.

She seemed a million miles away as she sat there staring at the wall.

The aroma of Japanese cherry blossoms floated in the air.

He inhaled deeply.

"Mind if I sit with you?" he asked.

He was there beside her before a reply.

"What do you normally do….on this day?" he asked softly.

"I try to work a double," she replied. "I was able to do that for three years…until last year."

"What did you do?" he asked.

"I got a bottle of vodka…and got screwed."

Note from author:

What a one liner to end a chapter. Let's hurry to the next chapter.

Take care,

Penny


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

The honesty almost floored him.

"Did it help?" he said not recognizing his own voice.

She shook her head.

His fingers tried to inch away from Sara but she grabbed them quickly and refused to let go.

Her melancholy was impalpable.

His fingers entwined with hers.

He felt he should be angry at her but the fact that she sat there letting the tears slip down her cheeks while divulging something so private, so painful that he forced himself to accept the contact.

He would not pull away this time.

This time he stood his ground and remained by her side.

Her shoulders slumped from the fatigue and yet she could not seem to let go of his hand.

They couldn't stay like this.

Both were tired.

He stood hoping that she would remain seated but she sprang forth, not letting go of his hand.

He didn't want to let go but he knew they needed to sleep.

Grissom pulled back the covers on her bed.

Her hand slipped from his.

Instead of getting into bed, she sat back down.

"Sara…you need to sleep."

"I will…in a few minutes," she lied.

He returned to his bed slipping into the covers.

She finally rested on the bed, curling her legs into almost a fetal position.

He closed his eyes.

He had not meant to fall asleep but when he woke later, he felt her immediately.

She sat in the floor, leaning against his bed.

The room was rather cool and yet she sat there in the thin cotton gown.

As a child he remembered when he'd had a nightmare that made him flee to his mother's bed.

He felt embarrassed as a ten year old boy to run to his mother but there was no one else.

His father was dead.

It was then the nightmares had begun.

They were always the same.

He woke in a cold sweat just before the scalpel entered his father's body.

He would quietly sit there in the floor beside his mother's bed.

She always seemed to sense his presence and would invite him in bed with her.

As he lay there, she would tell him stories about his father, pulling him away from the nightmare.

Now, she sat there quietly.

The moment he moved, she started to retreat to her side of the room but his hand grabbed her wrist.

He pulled back the covers and waited.

She hesitated a moment before taking his offer.

She snuggled into him.

Her skin was cold from sitting in the floor.

Gently he rubbed her arms as he pulled her closer.

It was a tight fit and the bed groaned from the weight but his arms remained wrapped around her.

It was hard to judge time since there was no outside window.

The room was still dark as he woke to the feel of her body on his.

He wasn't quite sure where he began and where she ended underneath the covers but it felt good.

He glanced at the clock on the side table and saw that they'd been asleep for several hours.

He wanted to go to the bathroom but he had no intention of waking her.

He would wait.

There was something serene about the way she slept.

Her head was tilted upward as a slight pout around her mouth hinted of something threatening to hinder her sleep.

He gently brushed the hair, exposing her face.

It made him smile to watch her sleep.

He'd never been in this position before.

Usually he would have to settle for a stolen glance.

He never seemed to look at her face when they were talking face to face.

In those moments of discussing cases or worse, using words to scar each other further, he chose to look into her eyes but never directly her face.

He was always fascinated with brown eyes, especially the ones like Sara.

One minute they were dark while other times they were a shade lighter.

He'd never really noticed how long her lashes were or how her lips curled into a slight smile when she was resting, not guarded in anticipation of a confrontation with him.

Her lips were inviting and he fought the urge to kiss them.

She needed to sleep.

In fact, it had been the most sleep since they had been imprisoned behind these walls.

As he held her, he was never so thankful for the threat of bubonic plague.

He refused to budge even when the lights came on.

It was the tapping at the door that woke her.

The guard made the usual tap indicating a new tray was waiting.

Sara slowly untangled her legs with his.

She took the old tray and opened the door, trading it for the new one that sat on the floor.

Before the door could relock, she placed the unopened bottle of wine outside the door as well.

He watched as she set the tray on the table.

"Breakfast," she announced just before she headed into the bathroom.

He sighed.

He still needed to go to the bathroom and no doubt she would be in there for awhile.

He flew into the bathroom the moment she stepped out.

She had no idea how to react.

She had slept with Grissom.

She didn't realize she had been standing there deep in thought until he opened the door.

She straddled the chalk line but quickly tried to correct herself the moment he stepped out of the bathroom.

His eyes caught sight of the spectacle and he grinned.

Each went to take their breakfast but this time instead of going to their respective sides they pulled up a chair and sat down sharing the small table.

"Look," she began. "That won't happen again. I don't know why I let that…day bother me."

"You lost your family," he explained. "I still think about my father's death."

She nodded as she picked up a piece of bacon from her plate and stared at it.

He took it from her hand and ate it but slipped his piece of toast on her plate.

She smiled.

The remainder of the meal was finished in silence but it was a pleasant silence as if there was a further truce in the war they had been waging with their feelings for one another.

Breakfast was soon finished but neither moved from their seats.

It appeared to be a sort of face off of sorts.

"I don't have a drinking problem," she stated matter of fact.

"I'm sorry I accused you."

"I only drink when…" She stopped not wishing to say anything further but then added, "It's not often."

She fidgeted in her seat.

"Sara…these last few months have been…hard," he admitted.

"Maybe we shouldn't work together…maybe I should leave," she admitted.

His heart thudded loudly.

Somewhere deep down, he knew it would finally come to this.

_But why?_

_We can be friends…_

He frowned. "Just because we work together doesn't mean we can't be friends. We were friends once."

"We were?" she asked letting the sarcasm drip from her words.

"I thought we were," he muttered softly sounding a bit hurt.

"Me again," she breathed.

_Suck it up Sidle…_

_He's offering you at least friendship…._

_You can talk again…_

_But never confide in him again…_

The last part hurt.

She had never felt close to anyone in her life until Grissom.

Even when he was hurtful and thoughtless, she still considered him…family.

His betrayal of her secret to the counselor had hurt her deeply.

No longer was she able to dodge and hide from the counselor's questions.

Counseling had become rather painful.

Still, she longed for his companionship.

"Friends," she gulped as she extended her hand.

His hand was warm in hers and for a moment he let it linger there in hers before slowly withdrawing it.

He thought the gesture would please her but instead it seemed to do the opposite.

"Some of the best relationships were based on friendship," he quipped.

"Stop it!" she glared as she stalked over to her side of the room, throwing the curtain down so that she was no longer visible.

"Mind telling me what I did?" he called out.

"You suck at friendship, Grissom."

"I thought I was being nice," he said coming to stand at the edge of the chalk line.

She pushed the curtain back.

"You offer friendship and then….say things like that. You flirt with…."

"I don't flirt!" he said indignantly.

"How many times has Sofia almost crawled into your lap while sitting on your desk while you crack that…that grin at her actions!"

He gawked at her.

"Sofia has a flirtatious nature. It's her way of dealing with stress," he explained. "She doesn't mean anything by it."

"So…if I came and sat down on your desk, you would…"

She knew the answer.

Gil Grissom would run for the nearest door.

"Never mind!" she spat as she returned to her side.

"You would never sit on my desk…or crawl into my lap," he said quietly as he sulked on his bed.

Of course both chose not to discuss what had transpired that night. Sara Sidle had in fact been in his lap and he wanted her there again.

"That's just the point, Grissom! You're so afraid I'm going to do something to get us noticed that you won't even give 'us' a chance. News flash…did it ever occur to you that I might have something to lose if people thought we were…more than friends?"

He opened his mouth but chose to keep quiet.

He let several moments of silence pass before speaking.

"Are you telling me you don't want to be friends?" he finally asked.

"Why should I? The moment I do something wrong, you'll just take it back…like before."

"I didn't…you…"

Both were quiet.

"I didn't take back our friendship, Sara. There is a difference in being a boss and being a friend. I have to be both."

Sara glared at him. "You're right there is a difference."

She tossed her head back in defiance and stepped toward him.

"Have you ever touched me at work?" she asked.

"Of course not!" he said quickly.

"Right. And why is that?" she asked with arms folded.

"Because it is inappropriate for a boss and a coworker to…it's not permitted."

"Right."

"Sara, I don't follow your logic," he sighed.

"That's because there is none. How many times have you touched another female worker in the lab?" she asked.

He looked shocked. "I have never…."

Sara rolled her eyes.

His eyes widened. "Catherine is different!"

"Are you her boss?"

"Catherine and I have known one another…"

"For years…Grissom just as you and I have known one another for years."

"Yes, but…"

"You see there is no logic. You treat Catherine like one of the guys. You touch her all of the time…even comfort her….this is not jealousy here…I'm just making an observation. Why not…me?" she asked quietly.

"Sara…everyone thinks…there is something…between us."

"Why?"

He opened his mouth but then shut it.

"Exactly."

"Wait, I've touched you before."

"Really? When?" she almost pleaded.

He started to open his mouth but before he could answer she bellowed. "Oh wait, I forgot the time you yanked me by the arm on the strip strangler case…then lectured me on how stupid I was in trying to…I wasn't getting in over my head despite what you thought."

A moment of silence passed before he said anything.

"I was going to say after the explosion in the lab."

Sara glanced down at the scar on her hand.

He had found her quite dazed, sitting on the curb holding her injured hand.

"Yes, you did," she whispered. She looked up at him mournfully. "You were…kind…but then you took it away."

"Sara, I couldn't go to dinner with you."

"You went to dinner with Sofia."

"I went to discuss her options."

"Don't I get any options or is my life already mapped out…no promotion…no touching…no…friendship…"

He huffed.

"Just admit it Grissom. You have never shared your feelings…with me. You say or do something but then…you don't play fair…you're rather mean."

She turned and headed toward the curtain but his voice stopped her.

"And you were never….mean?" he asked.

"No, I wasn't."

"I have feelings, Sara….just like you."

It was a direct hit.

Note from author:

Ouch…well, I thought I would leave you with a better ending but….LOL Someone has asked how long the story is: 40 chapters. I'm giving you an extra chapter today because tomorrow proves to be a crazy day so I didn't want to leave you hanging all day. If everyone finishes and I'm still alive, I'll post another chapter when I get back home.

Take care!


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten:**

The morning passed in silence.

Neither left their side of the room.

Lunch arrived.

Grissom set the tray on the table but returned to the bed.

He grumbled inwardly.

He never knew what to do once she responded to his own flirtatious behavior.

It was like baiting a fish and pulling in the line to find a nice big fish but not knowing what to do with it except throw it back.

_Brass would like that analogy _he thought as he stiffened from the sound of noise on her side of the room.

Sara was correct.

Their relationship was quite different when she first came to Vegas.

She was young and new at the job.

She had so much to learn and he was eager to teach.

He was happy being with her again but then something happened.

Sara wanted something more than friendship.

He couldn't.

It would mean a change and Grissom did not like change.

He wanted…no he needed her on graveyard.

He trusted her.

Relationships in the work place were voodoo.

They never worked out.

She pulled back the curtain and boldly strolled over to his bed.

"Truce?" she asked as she extended her hand.

He scrambled from the bed, taking her hand. "Truce."

"Hungry?" he asked.

She shook her head.

She disappeared as quickly as she had appeared.

He sat there on the edge of his bed and wondered how to proceed.

Hours passed without another word from her.

He tapped on the wall lightly and waited for permission to cross the chalk line.

"Friends don't need permission to cross a chalk line," she called.

He stepped inside and found she had been sleeping.

"I'm sorry," he said. "It's just that…I didn't know…"

She smiled and it put him at ease.

"I'll get rid of the chalk," he announced.

"It doesn't matter," she said.

"About what happened…"

"There's no need. I get it," she emphasized.

He wasn't quite sure she had.

"Sara…"

"Friendship…nothing more. You've been trying to get me to understand that for years and I do…finally get it. I'm not…what you want…friendship…is better than…this constant bickering."

Her speech made his heart lurch.

She didn't get it at all.

He did want her.

He just didn't know what to do with her once he had her.

_Yes, Jim would understand the fish analogy…_

He'd been catching Sara for years but throwing her back…

_But why?_

She watched as he fidgeted.

"It's fine…really, Grissom," she said as she pulled the blanket up.

"You cold?" he asked.

"I think a hot shower will help," she said as she got up.

She wasn't prepared for his hands to grab her suddenly.

He whirled her around to face him as his hands seemed to move from part of her body to the next.

She didn't know how to react but stood perfectly still.

"Sara…"

"Hmmm?" she managed to get out.

"You have a rash."

He ushered her toward the bathroom.

"Sara.... I need to examine you," he said trying to keep his voice even.

Once they were in the lighted bathroom, she turned so she could face the mirror.

"You'll need to remove the gown," he said softly.

She tensed.

"I don't have anything underneath."

He cleared this throat. "You may just have a…"

She started to slip the gown over her head when the door flew open.

Dover and Rogers stepped inside.

"Move away from her, Dr. Grissom," instructed Rogers.

"It doesn't look like…" Grissom was interrupted by Dover who shoved him to the side.

Grissom lurched forward but Rogers intervened.

"Don't make us use force," warned Rogers.

"Don't make me file a law suit," retorted Grissom. "I've had enough of Dover. He's not touching my…he's not touching Sara."

Dover growled. "It's okay for you to touch her but not a qualified…"

"You are no professional," spat Sara.

"Don't make this difficult," warned Rogers.

"I'm qualified to examine Ms. Sidle," stated Grissom as he stepped forward shielding Sara from Dover.

It appeared to be a standoff.

Rogers did not like the way things were proceeding.

There was not supposed to be a rash or illness.

He was merely to observe Dover's behavior, assessing his ability to return to the workforce.

Dover was not supposed to know that he was being monitored and there definitely was not supposed to be a rash.

He wondered if he was being misled just like Grissom and Sara.

If Rogers screwed up, it could be his job on the line.

Rogers cursed. "There are forms to complete. The examination has to be done…"

"Give them to me," directed Grissom.

Rogers grabbed Dover by the arm, pulling him toward the door.

"If you don't do this correctly….we'll have no choice but to do it ourselves…our superior may still order us to examine her," warned Rogers.

"Then you'll do it…not him," said Sara to Rogers.

Dover glared at her.

Both men disappeared.

Rogers pulled Dover down the hall several feet.

"You act like that again, and I'll have you dismissed from this case," warned Rogers.

"You would like that, wouldn't you?" sneered Dover.

"I suggest you follow the book," retorted Rogers.

"Like you just did? Since when do we allow patients to monitor themselves?" snarled Dover.

"Grissom is just as qualified as we are," stated Rogers.

"How do you know that?"

Rogers was counting on Grissom to know what he claimed.

Dover threw his hands up in the air as he took off down the hall.

Sara leaned against the sink. "Thank you."

"I don't like the way Dover looks at you," fumed Grissom.

"Neither do I," she admitted.

She cringed when the door reopened and Rogers stepped in handing the forms to Grissom.

"Every twelve hours," he ordered. "It has to be documented thoroughly."

"What if it's just a rash?" he asked.

"Every twelve hours," he said as he turned and left.

Grissom held the forms.

"You never did like paperwork," she whispered, trying to make light of the situation.

She didn't wait for him to take charge.

Sara turned once more and slipped off the gown.

Grissom's hands were soft as he examined the red blotches.

"It appears to be an allergic reaction of some sort," he said.

"I'm sure it was the jumpsuit…it itched," she recalled.

He snapped photos, trying to focus on the task but as his hands traced the areas he could not help but notice how soft her skin was under his fingertips.

"So…it's just a rash?" she asked.

"I think so," he agreed.

He had only been exposed to her back side and as he laid the clipboard down, he knew he would need to examine her front.

"Sara…"

She turned.

Her eyes refused to make contact with him as she stood there naked in front of him.

She was more beautiful than he had ever imagined.

His fingers glided down her arms as he traced the rash.

His hands were warm and gentle.

He grabbed the clipboard, jotting down a few notes.

It was difficult to breathe with him being so close.

She gulped in air and forced herself to speak. "You didn't take photos."

"There's no need," he said softly.

"But there's…the rash is on the front as well."

"It's the same as the back. It's a rash," he replied.

"But…"

"There's no need for anyone else to see," he said quietly.

The thought of Dover gawking over the nude photos of Sara left a bitter taste in Grissom's mouth. The man would not get another chance to degrade Sara further.

Sara donned the gown once more.

Not once did their eyes meet.

She stepped back letting Grissom leave the bathroom as she shut the door.

She did not know what to make of his behavior.

He did not seem the least bit affected by her body.

Grissom sighed out loud once he was in the other room.

He tapped on the door and handed the information to Rogers.

"It's a rash," he explained. "Her skin could be very sensitive."

"You'll need to check her again."

Rogers handed Grissom an ointment.

"For the rash," he explained. "I hope you don't think I'm like…Dover."

"You see the way he looks at her," whispered Grissom.

"Mr. Grissom, this is the third month of observation for us. We're stuck here just like you. Dover just needs a break," said Rogers.

"Then he should be removed from the case," replied Grissom.

"There have been too many cases of late. Ever since 9/11 our caseload has tripled. People seem to get a kick out of playing with insecticides…trying to find just the right combo to off someone…of course it gets labeled a terrorist act or a plague."

"Those men didn't die from bubonic plague," stated Grissom.

"No, they didn't but we don't have a clue what killed them. The lab in Atlanta is still working on it," answered Rogers.

"Could this…could she be infected?" asked Grissom.

"You saw the bodies. They'd been dead for quite awhile. We don't know how the outbreak would initially look."

Rogers started to leave but stopped. "I don't think she was infected. I've seen something similar before but…just document it thoroughly…my ass is riding on this…but your credentials checked out so don't let me down."

Grissom nodded.

_This is my fault…_

_I should have waited for Brass…_

"Rogers...get rid of the sound system," warned Grissom.

"Do you have any idea how much trouble I can get in if something happens to either one of you because we weren't monitoring you?"

"I don't have a rash," insisted Grissom. "Turn it off."

Rogers cursed. "I bettter not regret this."

"Disable it...not just turn it off," added Sara.

"Alright!"

The door slammed shut.

Grissom felt her eyes on him briefly as she stepped out of the bathroom later.

He glanced over his book as soon as she headed toward her side of the room.

"I have ointment…for the rash," he announced.

"Thanks…I'll put it on later," she replied.

"I have to do it now," he ordered.

Rogers' words did not seem to ease his mind.

They were in this mess because of him.

Although she did not admit it, she knew it as well.

He had broken department policy by entering the house without an officer.

He knew it at the time but was too damn tired to care.

He'd read the report and saw the bodies had been dead for some time.

_Killers don't hang around…_

_Deadly toxins did…_

His mistake may have put Sara in a serious health crisis.

"I'll put it on," she stated as she reached for the ointment but he refused to relinquish it.

"Sara, I have to do this," he said letting the frustration drip from every word.

She bristled.

She knew he did not like the idea of having to tend to her and she fought off the urge to ask for Rogers.

He quickly stood there in front of her. "Hold still," he said trying to soften his voice. He had not meant to be so harsh but his guilt increased each time he saw how difficult it was for her to undress before him.

Gently he tried to apply the ointment but the towel was proving to be a problem.

She knew he would not be able to complete the task without removing the towel she had draped around her body.

She loosened her hold, giving him permission.

His hands worked quickly.

She seemed rather quiet as he placed the lid on the ointment and jotted down a few notes on the clipboard once more.

He knew in a few hours he would need to examine her once again and report his findings to Rogers.

As soon he turned his back, she disappeared behind the curtain.

Sara buried herself in the blankets as she lay there.

She knew in a few hours the process would have to be repeated and no doubt he would be the perfect gentleman even though she knew he didn't want to do it.

An hour or two of complete silence almost made him come unglued.

He did not know how to take her silence.

He did what needed to be done and yet he felt guilty for having to put her through this.

He had tried to make it as painless as possible and yet he felt by her reaction that he had failed miserably.

The entire time he struggled with indecent thoughts.

He tried to focus on the rash but his eyes took in the full sight of her and he felt rather dirty.

Here he had been trying to protect her from that sleez Dover only to be guilty of the same sinful pleasure.

He had resisted the temptation to pull her into his arms, fearful he was starting something that he had no idea how to finish.

Dinner arrived and yet she did not venture from behind the curtain.

Grissom took the tray and boldly stepped through the curtain to find her huddled in her bed.

"Interested in dinner?" he asked.

She started to shake her head but he quickly added.

"Results of your appetite is on the report…I suggest you try to eat something," he urged.

He noticed she was dressed from head to toe.

"Still cold?" he asked.

"I'm fine," she replied.

"You want to sit at the table?" he asked.

"I'll just stay here…if you don't mind," she answered.

He did mind.

He wanted to know that she was okay.

"I'll sit with you...so I can document....for the report," he lied.

She wanted to spend time alone to lick her wounds.

When she moved to Vegas, she purchased that gown for Grissom.

It had been the few times she had ventured into Victoria Secret but a certain conversation one evening on a case had driven her to purchase it.

Unfortunately she had never gotten the chance to wear it for him.

None of her daydreams of how she would remove her gown in front of Grissom ever involved being in an insane asylum, or worse being observed for the plague.

To make matters even more painful was that he acted as though she was some case and he was merely collecting evidence.

_I'm alive, Grissom…_

_I'm very much alive…_

_I'm warm and I have a heart…beat_

She picked at her food and he took note of it.

"Sara, have I done something…wrong?" he asked.

"Hmmm? No, you haven't."

"I know this must be hard for you."

"Hard for me?" she asked out loud.

She saw him flinch and she shrugged her shoulders. "Yes, I guess it is."

"We'll need to…do this…two more times," he reported.

She nodded as she stabbed at the food with her fork again and again even though she had no intention of eating it.

It helped keep her eyes focused on anything but him.

"If there is anything I can do…to make it easier for you…just tell me," he said quietly.

Sara set the plate down beside her on the bed.

"Pretend you desire me, Grissom."

Note from author:

I know the last line....LOL


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven:**

Her statement left him speechless.

He took it as sarcasm and he was certain she knew he was no better than Dover.

"I'm tired, Grissom. I just want to sleep," she said quickly.

His mouth opened but no words came forth and it just made the inner turmoil worse for both.

She returned the plate on the tray and slid back into the covers turning her back to him.

"I'll wake you in a few hours," he said.

"Night," she managed to get out.

"_Would you like to have dinner with me?"_

"_No."_

She gulped.

_No hesitation…_

_There's never been a hesitation…_

_Never any doubt in his mind…_

He felt completely off balance at that moment.

_Did she really sense the way I looked at her?_

_She probably thinks I'm as bad as Dover…_

He quickly retreated to his side of the room and stayed there dreading when he would have to examine her again.

He felt completely miserable.

He knew those same feelings would still be there.

Just thinking about it caused his pulse to race as his libido flew into overdrive.

_You're just as sleezy as Dover…_

Hours passed and yet he did not sleep.

There had not been a sound from her side and he hated to wake her if she were sleeping.

He glanced at his watch and cursed inwardly as he swung his feet over the side of the bed.

He grabbed the clipboard and gently tapped on the wall.

He was surprised to find her sitting up in the bed with her legs pulled up against her chest.

"Feeling better?" he asked.

She was prepared for him, having changed into just the robe.

"I'm good," she said as she left the bed and headed for the bathroom.

She opened the robe, turning her back, trying to repeat each step and movement she'd done before.

His hand actually shook this time as he examined the rash which was still very visible and seemed to be irritated.

"The ointment doesn't seem to be helping," he said.

The snap of the camera startled her and she actually stepped away.

She had closed her eyes and forced herself to think of a happier moment and for a few precious seconds she had been in a lecture hall listening to Grissom answer her question and he was smiling at her.

She had leaned toward the podium and he had actually placed his hand on her arm as he invited her for a coffee and it had felt so very warm and gentle.

The flash of the camera had ruined the memory, bringing her back to this moment when she stood there before him feeling rather vulnerable and plain and she was not sure why she felt the sudden urge to shove him out of the room.

"I'm sorry…are you alright?" he asked when she stepped away.

He had forced himself to focus on her shoulders despite the fact that the rash was primarily on her lower back and thighs.

It was taking longer this time even though he tried to rush through the examination.

Her reaction threw both of them into defensive modes.

"Sara, I have to take the photos. I'm almost done," he said.

"It's a rash," she said.

"Yes, it is but we have to document this," he explained.

He snapped another photo.

She flinched and once again he was thrown off task.

He fumbled with the pen as he scribbled his notes.

_"Since when are you interested in beauty?"_

_"Since I met you."_

_God, she is so beautiful…_

He dropped the pen and cursed.

He knew his actions were not helping her to feel at ease.

"Turn," he said rather harshly as he tried to find the pen.

Sara felt that he was growing impatient with her.

"_You said you didn't have a problem with me"_

"_I don't."_

_He lied…_

_He's always had a problem with me…_

She almost wished it was Dover when he ordered her to turn and face him.

It was obvious he disliked the task.

He picked up the pen and found himself in a rather awkward position as his eyes roamed from her toes to her knees to her hips and then…

She took a deep breath again and again.

She could not seem to catch her breath.

His eyes immediately shot to her face.

_Her face…_

_Those huge dark eyes….with unshed tears…_

She gulped.

He closed his eyes feeling rather dirty from the thoughts that crossed his mind.

He cursed and she gritted her teeth not wishing to bother him with this task any further but she knew she would have to in order to avoid Dover or Rogers.

The rash had now spread to her navel and was present on her left breast.

He was required to take photos this time.

He snapped quickly.

As soon as he reached for the clipboard she grabbed the robe and disappeared behind the curtain.

He knocked on the outside door and handed the clipboard to Rogers.

"This is only a rash. I don't see why we have to…"

"One more exam," said Rogers as he took the clipboard. He glanced at the photos and then back at Grissom. "This is spreading."

"It doesn't match…it doesn't look like the victims," whispered Grissom.

"I'll bring another ointment," he offered.

Rogers glanced at Grissom.

"You don't have any symptoms?" he asked.

Grissom shook his head.

"If you don't want her to…I could examine you," offered Rogers.

"That's not necessary," said Grissom. "I don't have a rash."

Grissom plopped down on his bed and groaned.

He grabbed his robe and disappeared into the bathroom.

A cold shower did not seem to help as he stood there ignoring the freezing water.

He glanced down and noticed red blotches on his shoulders and chest.

Further examination showed the same rash on his lower legs.

He toweled himself off and then wrapped the robe around his body.

He opened the bathroom and practically ran into her.

"I'm going to get Rogers," he said.

She seemed a bit confused by his announcement until he added "Whatever you have…I seem to have it as well."

Her eyes shot up. "You have a rash?"

"Yes."

She reached for his robe but he stepped back. "That's not necessary."

The last thing he wanted was to force her to have to examine him.

She stepped back as if she had been slapped. "No problem."

_The last thing he wants is for me to see him unclothed…_

_Not me…_

_Never me…_

Sara dove into the bathroom as Grissom tapped on the door and waited for Rogers.

She could hear Rogers as he examined Grissom.

"Perhaps both of you were exposed to something prior to the contamination," offered Rogers.

"It's possible. Both of us worked doubles," replied Grissom.

"We can try another ointment," offered Rogers. "I took some scrapings just like you did with Sara's and I'll send it to the lab immediately."

As soon as Rogers left, she stepped out of the bathroom.

Grissom watched as she marched right past him and disappeared once again behind the curtain.

Rogers opened the door. "Let's try this."

He held a tube of ointment.

Grissom reached for it but Rogers refused to let go of it.

"I'll have to administer it…and document," he explained.

Once he finished, Rogers glanced over to the curtain.

"You'll need to apply this to Ms. Sidle as well," said Rogers.

Grissom's face paled.

"I can do it," offered Rogers.

Grissom adamantly shook his head, taking the ointment from Roger's hand.

Rogers turned to leave but stopped. "Mr. Grissom…

Grissom looked at the man.

Rogers cursed inwardly.

_You can't let him know the truth just yet…_

_We're almost done…_

"Let me know if you or Ms. Sidle….need anything," he said as he fled the room.

Grissom waited a moment before stepping through the curtain.

Sara lay there on her bed with the ipod.

Her eyes were closed and he was not certain if she had fallen asleep.

One touch and she jumped.

"Sorry," he said as he held up the ointment.

She grabbed the ointment from his hand.

"I can do this," she said.

He wanted to object.

"Sara…"

"I can get Rogers to do this…if I'm not able."

She disappeared into the bathroom and held her breath to see whether he would charge in there but he didn't and she was not sure why it hurt when he did not object to the thought of Rogers doing it.

Neither slept.

Both dreaded the examination that would follow in the morning.

As soon as the lights were turned on, Grissom sat on the edge of his bed.

She had already padded to the bathroom just before the lights came on and now she stood there in the doorway.

Both stared at one another.

"Rogers is going to be here soon to examine me," he began.

He felt they should begin quickly so he could give Roger's the results of Sara's exam.

"Good, he can examine us both," she said not bothering to notice the shocked look on Grissom's face.

_Fine!_

_If she prefers someone else than me…_

"He can probably help you with the ointment as well," said Grissom as he got off his bed and took his turn in the bathroom.

Her nerve deflated the moment he shut the door.

_What did you expect Sara?_

_He's not liked doing it from the beginning…_

She trembled at the thought of stripping once more.

Dover had been awful.

_It won't be Dover…_

_It will be Rogers…_

_Rogers is not like Dover…_

_Come on Sara…_

_Get a grip. You've done this before…even with Greg present…_

_Just a medical procedure…_

Grissom cursed as he washed his face and leaned against the sink.

_If she wants to display her body to someone else…_

He closed his eyes at the sickening memory of how Dover had looked at Sara…his Sara!

_She's not yours, Grissom…_

_She never was and never will be…_

He threw open the bathroom door.

"You want to go first or shall I?" he challenged.

"I'll go first," she announced as she headed toward the door but halted the moment the door opened and Dover stepped in.

Note from author:

Oh, my! I seem to have a knack for these last lines. LOL Let's hurry so we don't leave it like this for long!

Take care!


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve:**

"Rogers was called away this morning. Looks like you get me," announced Dover.

Sara gulped.

Grissom's gut twisted.

Dover glanced at the clipboard. "Am I early? I don't see your notes Dr. Grissom."

"I haven't done the exam," explained Grissom.

Dover glanced at Sara. "Is there a problem? I can examine both of you."

Each waited for the other to speak but both remained silent.

"Time is wasting. What's it going to be?" he asked as he picked up the clipboard and glanced at the notes from the previous exams.

"You can examine me," said Grissom, hoping that Sara would back out.

Grissom stepped into the bathroom.

Minutes went by as the bathroom remained shut from Sara's eyes.

She paced the floor.

_How did I get myself into this mess?_

_I should have let Grissom do it…_

_I would have been finished already…_

_I can still get Grissom to do it…_

_He hates doing it…_

_Dover…_

_Why him?_

_He'd get it done, Sara…_

_You wouldn't have to put Grissom through it…_

The door opened and Dover smiled. "You're next."

Sara's eyes rested on Grissom's.

_Say it, Sara…_

_Tell him you want me to do the exam…_

_Say it…_

Sara stepped toward the door as Dover continued to jot down notes. "I don't have all day."

_Say it Grissom…_

_Tell him you want to do the exam…_

_Say it…_

She walked past Grissom and he did not move a muscle to stop her from walking into the bathroom.

She stood there with her back to them.

Dover grinned at Grissom.

Grissom cursed as he plopped down on his bed, throwing his book at the wall.

_I can't believe she's going to let that scum…_

_She knows what Dover is after and yet…._

Dover shut the door.

Sara jumped the moment she heard the click of the lock.

She whirled around.

"Just strip, Sara," Dover whispered as he leaned against the bathroom door.

_What have I done?_

_What was I thinking?_

_I can't let this man touch me!_

"I can't do this," she said suddenly.

"You have to be examined," he said irritably.

"Not by you," she spat as she tried to step to the side and unlock the door.

Dover blocked her. "Just remove the robe."

"Look, Grissom has being doing the exams. He can do it again," she said.

She tried once more to get past Dover but he refused to let her pass.

"Get out of my way!" warned Sara.

Grissom head snapped up the moment he heard Sara's voice.

"I can use force if I have to," sneered Dover.

"Don't touch me!" Sara yelled.

Grissom scrambled from his bed.

"You're such a tease," whispered Dover. "I could teach you…so much."

"Get away from me," she gritted as she found herself against the wall.

"Dover! Open the door!" yelled Grissom.

"Everything is okay. Ms. Sidle is just having a little panic attack but she's fine. Aren't you, Sara?" he glared as he stepped toward her.

"Don't touch me! Grissom!"

Grissom panicked at the sound of her voice.

It seemed surreal as Grissom called for help.

He banged on the bathroom door as he also pounded on the door trying to get the attention of another guard.

"Now, look what you've done. You've gotten me in trouble," sighed Dover.

He stepped away from Sara as if he were about to open the door but then grabbed her.

Adam Trent flashed before her eyes as Dover tried to push her to the floor but she refused.

His foot tripped her and she went down hard onto the floor but managed to scramble to her feet.

"You're tough," he cursed. "I like it rough."

Sara's elbow caught him in the ribs and he cursed.

He delivered a kick to her stomach, knocking the breath from her.

She went down with a thud and she winced from the pain in her knees.

Grissom continued to bang on the door.

There was the sound of footsteps coming down the hall and then keys dangling.

"_Adam is not here."_

_God, I couldn't protect her then and now…_

She rolled to her side and tried to get up.

Sara felt her body kicked once more and her back hit the cold hard floor.

Dover smiled at her.

Sara gasped when she felt him pulling her robe off.

His knee pressed down on her chest as she continued to fight him.

He banged her head against the tile floor.

It was quite forceful and for a moment she was still.

"Better," he said as he grabbed for the front of the robe once more.

She kicked him fully with both legs sending him back against the wall.

"You bitch!"

Dover's fist delivered a hard punch to her stomach and she doubled over in pain.

He quickly rolled her over and pressed his weight on her thin frame.

Sara clawed at him and he threw back his hand delivering a direct hit to the side of her face.

It stung as she tried to remain conscious.

She could feel his knee now pressed between her thighs.

Sara breathed in deep as she tried to buck him off but it was futile.

"Let's examine that rash," he snickered.

"Dover, let me go…please," she begged.

"I have to do my job," he smiled. "I also have to teach you a lesson," he whispered. "It's okay. You can pretend it's your boss…it's him you want, isn't it? Sorry Sara but you're not his type…you're mine."

Sara grabbed at his hands but he caught her wrists in a vice grip, pulling her upper body to an almost sitting position and then slamming it back onto the hard floor.

Sara's head connected hard with the floor.

Her hands dropped to her side.

There was no more fight left in her at the moment and she gulped down a sob.

Dover yanked her legs apart forcibly and inched his way down pressing his groin into her body.

"Time to pay up, Sara," he chuckled as he reached for his belt buckle.

The door was thrust open and suddenly hands were pulling Dover out of the room.

"She was resisting!" yelled Dover. "I had to subdue her!"

Grissom slammed his fist into Dover's cheek and he fell back toward the guards.

Grissom quickly knelt beside Sara.

She rolled away from the others as she struggled to keep the robe secure about her body.

Grissom shoved the door shut keeping the others out.

He knew she was in no condition to face them.

The guards would demand to be let in but at the moment they both needed a moment and he was damn well going to give her that.

She lay there in a fetal position trying to recover from the beating.

Every inch hurt but she had been successful in delaying the attack long enough for the others to get inside.

_A few more minutes and…_

Grissom tried to slow his breathing.

He had wanted to kill Dover the moment he saw the man on top of Sara.

He had felt just as helpless as he did that night Adam Trent had taken Sara hostage.

He had stood there watching Adam yield the make shift knife against Sara's throat.

He turned the moment she struggled to get up.

"Can you stand?" he asked.

"I think so," she said as she stood on wobbly legs.

Both were a mess and yet there was much to do.

Grissom's hand gently examined the bruise on her face.

"That's got to hurt, honey," he whispered.

It did but there was no time to respond as there was a knock on the bathroom door and then Rogers tried to step inside but his presence caused Sara to back away.

Grissom blocked him from entering.

"Is she alright?" he asked quickly.

"I want charges pressed against Dover," yelled Grissom.

"Of course," answered Rogers. "The guards have him…he'll have to remain in isolation…until we're sure…about your status…that is if he…touched her…he wasn't wearing gloves."

Grissom glanced at Sara.

The proof was on her cheek.

"I'll need to know about her injuries…for documentation…there's the exam….you didn't do it this morning," stated Rogers.

Grissom cursed inwardly.

She had already been through enough.

Now she would have to endure the exam as well as a detailed examination of her injuries.

Grissom stepped toward Sara.

He was grateful she did not back away from him.

"Sara, we're going to need to know the extent of your injuries…collect evidence."

She nodded despite the pain it caused her.

Her head ached.

Grissom gritted his teeth. "Rogers can do it..."

Her eyes widened and she shook her head violently causing her to stumble back against the wall.

Nausea hit and she covered her mouth. "I'm going to be sick."

The door was shut in Rogers' face as Sara scrambled to the commode.

Grissom supported her as she vomited.

"You could have a concussion," he whispered.

She rinsed her mouth and leaned against the wall.

"I can do it…if you prefer…me," he asked.

She nodded quickly only to groan from the pain in her head.

"I'll try to be quick," he urged.

He grabbed for the camera and tried to steady his hands as he pointed it at Sara.

She gulped in air.

"Just close your eyes," he whispered. "Think of…San Francisco."

Note from author:

See...that line isn't so bad... but the chapter...well it was hard....

Take care!


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen:**

There was a slight catch in her voice as she replied. "It was…different in San Francisco."

She remembered their long chats at the coffee shop after the seminar each day.

Sometimes they took walks along the beach. "It was warm," she trembled.

"I know you're cold, honey. Just keep your eyes closed and it will be over soon."

He snapped off a couple of photos of her face.

It was quite battered.

Her cheek was already bruised and swollen.

The robe was still tied firmly in place and he knew he would need to remove it.

He laid the camera down and stepped toward her.

She visible shook.

"I'm going to remove your robe, honey," he whispered.

The moment his hands started to slip off the robe her eyes shot open and she gulped for air.

He stopped immediately. "It's just me. Close your eyes..." She shook her head viciously. "You want me to stop? I can call Rogers and he…"

"Don't…please Grissom. Don't call Rogers…I'll close my eyes," she cried.

She did as a single tear slipped down her cheek.

Grissom's hand gently wiped it away.

"You're safe with me," he urged.

He could not resist leaning into her frail body and planting a kiss on her forehead.

He was surprised when she suddenly clung to him.

He knew there would be contamination but he didn't care.

He held her firmly against him as he stroked her hair.

"You don't have to close your eyes if you don't want to," he said as he caressed her cheek.

Her eyes watched him as he snapped photograph after photograph.

He was visibly shaking himself as he came to terms with what almost transpired.

By the cuts and bruises, she had given a good fight.

Her beautiful body was riddled with bruises.

Some were quite huge.

His hand gently traced the outline of Dover's shoe across her ribs.

Hand imprints were visible on Sara's wrists.

He could easily follow the bruising to see where the next punch had landed.

Grissom took in a deep breath.

He wanted to make this quick and yet he knew he needed to go slow.

It was a cruel situation.

_Be quick, Grissom…_

_She's in pain…_

_Go slow or you'll miss something…_

He was relieved at what he did not see and that was the rash.

It was much better.

The ointment was working.

He had seen improvement on himself but wasn't sure about Sara since she seemed to have been exposed more than him.

"I'll put some ointment on the rash," he said softly.

His hands gently administered it.

He was not prepared when she turned and looked directly into his eyes.

She looked much like a child as she stood there shivering.

He clothed her with the robe and forced her to sit on the commode.

She trembled as he gently opened her hands fully so he could get another photo.

He had seen the smeared blood underneath and around her fingertips.

He could not tell if it were from the cuts or if she had managed to scratch Dover.

"I think I scratched him," she whispered. "I think it's his blood…not mine."

She whirled around, turning on the sink and started to wash her hands but he caught them.

"I want him off me," she gritted. "They don't need this…as evidence…they have the photos…he was caught….it's not like I can't testify…for myself….I'm not one of our victims…" her voice trailed off.

At this moment, Grissom was working a case and Sara Sidle was very much the victim.

Grissom tried to focus on just the collection but he found his train of thought interrupted by his desire to take her into his lap and hold her.

_Focus on the task…_

_Hell and back…_

_She just went to hell.._

He glanced at her briefly, needing to reassure himself that she was fine.

_Focus…_

_Be quick…_

_Go slow…_

Her eyes took note of his actions.

They followed every move he made.

She moved when he moved.

She followed his lead with each collection of evidence.

His hands were firm but gentle as he scraped underneath her fingernails.

When he was finished, Grissom gently placed her hands under the water in the sink and scrubbed the blood away.

He then toweled her hands dry.

"We're done," he said but then she knew that.

She knew the procedure and yet she needed to be told that it was done, her brain now feeling like mush as his actions seemed obscure at times and she wondered if perhaps she had obtained a brain injury because at the moment Gilbert Grissom was acting in the most peculiar way.

Gil Grissom was acting as a protective mate.

_Boss and employee…_

_Not friend and lover…_

_Not lover and friend…_

_Not…._

She could not seem to finish the thought or make sense of things at the moment.

He started to lead her to the door but her foot refused to budge.

"Is there something wrong?" he asked.

"I uhm" she glanced down at her body. "I need to shower."

He turned on the water and prepared it for her.

Her head was already spinning but she wanted to remove the stench of that morning from her body.

The thought that Dover had almost succeeded sickened her.

"If you need anything, I'll just be outside the door," he said.

She nodded.

She stepped toward the shower but could not release her hold on the wall.

She turned away from him in order to remove the robe.

Every move brought pain.

She fumbled with the drawstring that she somehow could not figure it out.

He carefully unrobed her and with his arm wrapped around her waist, led her into the shower.

She leaned against the shower wall for support.

"Want me to stay…in here…with you?" he asked.

She didn't know how to respond but she also knew she was liable to fall.

Her head and ribs ached.

She nodded even though she wasn't aware of it.

Her hands trembled as she took the soap and washcloth.

It hurt with each movement and yet she refused to stop until each bruised area was thoroughly scrubbed.

Her hands were braced against the wall as she leaned forward letting the water pour over her head.

It was painful and yet soothing.

The pain eased briefly but then her head felt as if it were going to explode.

She moved until she was directly under the shower head.

She cursed at the impact.

Her hand shot to the back of her head.

She cursed at the pain, letting the soap fall to the floor.

Grissom turned in fear that she was going to fall.

Both became alarmed at the sight of blood on Sara's hand.

Her hand returned to the back of her head as she felt her knees buckle.

He stepped into the water despite the fact that he was fully clothed.

"I've got you," he said as he supported her fully.

"Head?" he asked.

She nodded.

Grissom shifted her in his arms in order to examine her head.

"God, Sara. What did he do to you?"

"Banged…my head…on the floor," she moaned.

"It doesn't seem to need stitches," he said.

"Griss…I need to get…blood out of my hair."

He washed her hair trying not to cause her any more pain than necessary.

He could tell her stamina was gone and he made haste with the task.

He wrapped several towels around her, sitting her on the commode and then disappeared for a moment.

He changed quickly into dry clothes and then grabbed a change of clothes for her.

His actions were quite tender as he knelt down in front of her.

He took great care not to alarm her by his actions speaking softly to her, explaining his every move.

"I trust you," she admitted as she let him dress her.

Rogers yelled obscenities as he shoved Dover into a room, locking it.

Dr. Donovan appeared behind him.

"What the hell happened?" asked Donovan.

"Dover assaulted Ms. Sidle. I told you he was unstable. He never should have been given another chance," yelled Rogers.

"Dover's family has been very generous to us…the least we could do is allow Mr. Dover a chance to redeem himself."

"Redeem himself? Tell that to the C.S.I.! We should have told them from the beginning…let them in on it. They would have been more prepared."

"Their boss agreed…as long as we agreed to a write up in the paper giving his lab credit in assisting with the mock drill. We need the test subjects to treat this is as a life threatening situation. It would not have been as effective…Dover needed field experience…in a controlled environment.... we succeeded in both areas."

"Yeah, did you tell their boss about Dover's past? How he was physically removed from the last job. I won't cover this up!" warned Rogers.

"Calm down, Rogers," seethed Donovan. "Let's just talk with her…find out what happened…I'm sure we can clear this up."

She lay there in bed as Grissom sat beside her.

The door opened and she tried to get to a sitting position but cried out in pain.

"Lie still," Grissom ordered. "I'll be back in a minute."

An unknown man stood there with Rogers.

"How is Ms. Sidle?" asked Rogers.

"She needs something for the pain," replied Grissom as he handed the information to Rogers.

"Pain? Was she injured?" asked Donovan.

"You are?" asked Grissom.

"I'm his superior…as well as Dover's," he replied.

Rogers was already flipping through the photos on the digital camera.

Rogers glanced at Grissom.

"Does she need medical care?" he asked quickly.

"You can see from the photos, the extent of the beating she took from Dover. I'm concerned about her head…ribs…she's had some nausea…vomiting."

"Do we need to move her to the infirmary?" asked Donovan as he too looked at the photos.

Grissom glanced toward the curtain.

He did not like the idea of being separated.

"I don't think so but she needs to be checked by a physician…to make sure there are no other injuries. If you can get her something for the pain…I'll watch her…report if there is a change in her condition."

"Mr. Grissom, we had no idea…about Dover," began Donovan.

"Now you do. I want sexual assault charges brought against him."

"He states he was merely trying to subdue her."

Grissom glanced at Rogers. "He's made sexual overtures toward Ms. Sidle from the beginning. I witnessed it…as well as Rogers."

Donovan glanced at Rogers.

Rogers nodded.

"I wasn't aware of this," grumbled Donovan.

Rogers looked shocked and Grissom knew that Donovan was only trying to cover himself.

"I'll need to ask her a few questions," said Donovan.

"I want Jim Brass to be notified," warned Grissom.

"Yes, of course," said Donovan as he and Rogers headed toward the curtain but Grissom stopped them.

"Just a minute," said Grissom.

He stepped on the other side.

She winced when she coughed.

He still worried that he may have missed an injury.

She caught his concern.

"I'm just a little sore…it looks worse than…it is," she whispered.

"Sara, you took quite a beating," he seethed. "The guard couldn't find the key and…why do they allow locks on solitary confinement rooms anyway!" he griped as he raked his hands through his hair.

"To keep out the crazy people," she replied trying to lighten his disposition.

It did. He smiled at her. He wanted nothing more than to hold her.

"They need to ask a few questions," he whispered.

"I heard…It's fine."

The men stepped to the other side of the curtain.

"I'm sorry this happened to you, Ms. Sidle," said Donovan. "Dover insists…we just need to hear your side of the story."

"I'm not sure what Dover's story is but I can tell you what happened," she replied.

"Mr. Grissom did the other two examinations?" asked Donovan.

"Yes."

"But, he wasn't going to do this last exam. Why?"

_Why?_

"Grissom had been exposed to the same thing…that I had. Rogers was going to examine him this morning so I thought I would let him examine me as well."

"But Rogers wasn't here…Dover was."

"Dover examined me," interrupted Grissom. "He then told Sara that she was next."

"You could have refused…but you didn't refuse…did you?" asked Donovan.

Sara looked nervously at Grissom. "No."

"So you entered the bathroom on your own free will," stated Donovan glancing at Rogers.

Sara's stomach flipped flopped at the insinuation.

"I entered the bathroom but the moment he shut the door and locked it, I tried to leave but he wouldn't let me," said Sara nervously.

"If you didn't like Dover why would you put yourself in the position…" Donovan was interrupted by Grissom.

"I don't like your tone and this is over. I want copies of the photos and the incident report sent to Jim Brass. I want…."

"Calm down, Dr. Grissom. We're only trying to find out what happened," said Donovan holding his hands up.

Sara leaned forward but Grissom's hand slipped into hers.

"I entered the bathroom. It was a mistake. I was right about Dover and I realized that the moment he shut the door and locked it. There was no need to lock the door. Grissom would not have entered the bathroom while…he locked it to keep Grissom out…to keep me in while he… he tried to remove my robe and when I refused he banged my head on the floor several times until I stopped fighting. If the guard had not unlocked the door, Dover would have raped me. Believe what you want. I said stop and he refused even though Grissom was banging on the door and the guard was trying to find the key."

Sara leaned back and closed her eyes.

"That's enough," warned Grissom.

"Again, I'm sorry this happened," said Donovan.

Sara breathed in deeply.

Grissom sat down on the bed immediately. "Nauseated again?"

She groaned. "My head hurts."

"She probably has a concussion," said Rogers. "I'll get the doctor to come up and…"

Sara shook her head and grabbed Grissom's arm.

"She needs rest…something for the pain," answered Grissom.

"We won't keep you any further. We'll have the infirmary send up something but I have to insist that Rogers or someone else examine her."

"I'm present the entire time. We're not being separated again," griped Grissom.

"I'll do it…as long as she doesn't mind," offered Rogers.

Grissom waited until they were gone before he said anything.

"Lie back," he whispered.

She eased back into the bed.

"Sara, Rogers is going to check you for injuries…I'm not sure I didn't miss anything," he grieved.

"Just my head…but then you always thought I had a hard head," she replied trying to make light of the situation and he smiled slightly.

He started to get up but her hand clamped down on his.

He held her hand to his lips. "I'll be right here."

Rogers was fast but thorough.

He gritted his jaw at the injuries she had sustained by Dover.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Sidle. If I had known…" Rogers stopped, jotting down some notes.

"If the pain increases in her head, we'll have to get some x-rays…I'll worry about how we're going to do that," Rogers explained already considering blowing the whistle to Conrad Ecklie. "Wake her every few hours…I'm going to prescribe something for the pain…make sure she takes it. It will be much worse in twenty-four hours."

She nodded as she closed her eyes and tried to sleep but the pain was unbearable.

"You think you could eat something?" Rogers asked. "I could ask for some dried toast or…"

She shook her head.

"I'll be back in a few minutes," assured Rogers as he stepped out.

Grissom sat there quietly with her as she struggled to rest.

He was relieved when Rogers returned with the medication.

"The shot will work the fastest," whispered Rogers. "It will ease the pain."

Grissom glanced down at the syringe.

"I could give it to her," he offered.

"No…thank you Rogers," he said as he took the medication.

Her eyes opened the moment he sat back down on the bed.

"I need to give you a shot," he explained. "I have to warn you. I haven't done this in a very long time."

Her eyes did not move from his as the needle glided underneath her skin.

Once it was done, Grissom gently kissed the spot.

She felt the relief immediately.

"Better?" he asked,

"Much," she said licking her lips.

"Would you like some water?" he asked.

He held the cup to her lips as she drank.

"Thank you," she whispered.

Her hand curled into his. "Such warm hands…never cold."

"I can give you something to help you sleep," he offered.

"Not ready to dream," she whispered.

Both were quiet.

She had felt responsible for the attack even before Donovan had questioned her.

Now, she knew others felt the same and she wondered if Grissom did too.

"I really screwed up," she choked.

"It wasn't your fault."

"I never should have…gone in there with him. You warned me about him and yet I walked in there and…"

"Why?"

Note from author:

Now will they come clean with each other???


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen:**

He regretted it the moment the word left his mouth but for the life of him he could not understand why she had just walked in there…with **him**.

She gulped. "I was tired of the look in your eye," she breathed.

_She did know…_

_She didn't want me to examine her because of my indecent thoughts…_

_What kind of man am I?_

"I'm sorry. I tried but…"

"Not your fault. I just thought that…I mean…I'm not beautiful…but I am…a woman…and I thought I would get some…reaction out of you but I didn't and it hurt. I could see that you did not like doing the exam but I didn't want Rogers or…him. I finally decided to let Rogers when you wouldn't even let me help you."

"Help me?" he asked.

"You didn't want me to see you…preferred another man…Rogers…which is okay…but…it just hurt."

She laughed out loud and it unnerved him.

Her laughter turned to tears. "I mean I had hoped you would desire me and yet all I can attract is some pervert like Dover…and…" there was a catch in her throat.

"Oh God, Grissom. Did I lead him on? Did I…"

"No! You didn't! Sara, listen to me. Your only mistake was letting him close the door. You knew that the moment it happened. I heard you Sara. I heard your pleas and I couldn't do a damn thing about it!"

He was holding her now as her body racked with sobs.

"You're wrong about something else," he added. "I wanted you…I want you. I was angry at myself for feeling…some very indecent thoughts when…I was supposed to be examining you…work…not…"

His hand gently stroked her hair. "Sara, you have no idea what you do to me…do you?"

She shook her head.

He tilted her head and kissed her fully on the lips. "You're so beautiful, Sara…even an old entomologist can see that," he whispered.

Brown eyes stared intently at blue.

"I've never known what to do about this," he said. "We did lose our friendship….and it was my fault. Understand? All of this has been my fault."

He wasn't sure whether she believed him or not as she continued to cry.

He cradled her in his arms ever mindful of her injuries.

He grabbed the blanket and wrapped it securely around them.

She felt safe and warm in his arms as she rode out the effects of the pain medication.

It was a sense of floating as she lay there no longer feeling the ribs or the throbbing in her head.

She felt very little now as she felt herself being shifted.

His actions were slow and gentle.

One more shift and he was lying there with her body securely tucked in beside his.

He adjusted the pillow so that her head was propped.

"I'll wake you in an hour," he said.

"No sleep," she murmured.

"Sleep," he urged.

"Dreams," she countered.

"Only good ones," he promised.

She remembered each time she was awakened.

Her lips would feel his as they coaxed her awake.

Just as she felt she were drowning in the feel of his body and yearned for more, he was coaxing her back to sleep by the melodious sound of his voice.

He knew when the pain shot wore off.

She tightened her hold on his shirt, waiting for the pain to ease.

It had been a slight shifting of her body and she had paid dearly for it.

His hand stroked her hair, as his lips kissed her tenderly. "I can give you something again," he offered.

She slowly shook her head not wishing to sleep anymore.

"Pain meds are worse than sleeping pills," she gritted as she finally stretched for the last time.

Her cheek was a shade of green with a slight twinge of purple.

His fingers traced the bruising.

She felt self conscious of the bruises and tried to turn away but his hand gently turned her to face him.

"We have two and half weeks left," he stated.

"I can't wait to see what happens next," she gritted.

He was quiet for a moment and she realized he was choosing his words carefully.

"Griss…what..is it?"

"In two and half weeks we go back…to the lab," he breathed.

"Yes, we do," not liking the sound of his voice.

His hand stroked her hair.

"We have two and half weeks…together," he said again.

"You said that…Grissom…"

"But then we go back…to the lab."

She looked confused.

He kissed her at that moment.

It was different than the others kisses.

When his lips left yours, she tried to pull him back.

"Two and a half weeks…that's all we have," he said once more.

It was then she realized his meaning.

"Why?"

"We'll be back at the lab…not here."

"But…"

A thousand thoughts zipped through her brain at the implication of his statement.

_We can be together here…_

_But not when we leave…_

_Together…._

_Then.._

She shook her head despite the pain as she gulped down a sob.

"Sara, we have two and half weeks…"

"This is a dream…just a dream," she breathed.

She grabbed his shirt as she continued to shake her head.

"Stop, you're just hurting yourself," he grieved.

"Hurting myself? How do you think it will feel when we…two and a half weeks…then…"

She gulped through the wave of emotion.

"I don't know…what I can do…to make this right," he gulped himself. "But we have two and a half weeks."

"You would just…you think we could just walk away after…"

"Sara, I'm much older than you…more set in my ways than you…I wouldn't…I don't know how to live with someone…in my life. I'm selfish with my time…with my work."

_Work…_

There was the word that made each cringe.

_Take it, Sara…_

_He's offering two and a half weeks…_

_You never expected a single night…_

She felt her chest tighten at what she was agreeing to do.

_Can I just let him go?_

_Kiss and then never tell…_

_Never touch again…_

"We could never…when we go back…"

"No," he sighed.

His hand caressed her cheek.

"Pretend it never happened…just move on," she clarified.

He nodded.

She stared at him. "You could do that? Just move on after…"

"We don't have to do this. We can be friends…nothing more," he offered.

"Wait, you mean if we…we can't even be friends?" she asked.

"Friends…just friends," he stressed.

"But we could never…in Vegas," she said rubbing her temple.

He shook his head. "Here we have two and a…."

"I know how much time," she bit out. Her head felt it was going to explode.

"Sara…let's just forget it. Let's just be friends," he said as he started to sit up.

Her head protested the moment she sat up, shrugging off any assistance.

"If you need anything, I'll just be other there," he said as he tried to straighten the covers for her.

"Grissom…don't go," she said almost pleading.

He reached over and kissed her on the forehead. "I'm not leaving you. I'm just over there."

He sat down on his bed and picked up a book. "Are you hungry? The tray came a few hours ago but I didn't want to wake you."

She threw her legs over the side of the bed and cursed inwardly at the pain the movement caused.

"Catherine sent us some forensic magazines to read. I'm not sure if you've ever read this one. I got a subscription a few months ago," he shared as he displayed the cover.

She gawked at him and he tried to pretend that nothing had transpired between them.

She rubbed her head.

Grissom quickly knelt down in front of her.

"You need something? Sara, you're turning green," he said as his hands cupped her face.

She glanced around the room.

"What's wrong?" he asked worriedly.

"Friends," she whispered.

"Friends," he answered.

She visibly shook.

"Griss…could you hold me?" she asked.

"Sara…"

Her head fell into her hands.

He disappeared for a moment but then she felt his fingers open her hand.

"Take these," he said softly as he handed her some water.

She shook her head but he took the pills from her hand and placed them in her mouth.

She drank the water and he forced her to lie back.

"There's this article I read earlier about…"

"Two and a half weeks," she said as she curled into a ball, wishing the drum in her head would stop.

He glanced over at her. "We don't have to talk about…"

"Two and a half weeks…then we go back…to the lab," she gritted.

"I could ask for a chess game…I could teach you," he offered.

She rolled to the other side, away from him.

He shot off his bed but lingered between his side of the room and hers.

"Can I get you anything?" he asked.

"Two and a half weeks," she agreed.

She felt his hand on her forehead.

"I think we need to take you to the infirmary," he panicked.

Her hand grabbed his. "Lay with me Grissom."

"Sara…"

"Just…until we go…back," she managed to get out.

He started to get up but she refused to release his hand.

She nodded through the pain.

"I don't think…I shouldn't have offered…it's not fair…"

"Shut up, Grissom," she choked.

He pulled her into his arms as she trembled.

"This is just the pain medication talking…Just sleep," he urged.

She grabbed him, pulling him down to her lips.

She kissed him letting herself enjoy the feel of him inside her.

He gasped from the intensity of the kiss.

He left a trail of kisses from her lips to her breast but jerked away as if he had done something wrong.

"Don't stop," she moaned.

"Sleep," he ordered.

"No, I want to…two and a half weeks," she pressed. "Yes…I agree."

"Sara, you're in pain."

"Yes, I am…don't make me beg," she said reaching for him.

He took the palm of her hand and kissed it.

He stroked her hair as he gently kissed her on the forehead. "Sleep."

Her hand entwined with his pulling him toward her.

"Sara…"

"Just need…to feel you…beside me," she murmured.

The pills were already taking effect and she cursed.

"You'll feel better tomorrow," he urged.

He pulled her into his arms as he joined her.

"I'm here," he soothed.

"For two and a half weeks," she stated.

_This is crazy…_

_She'll tire of me…_

_I'm old…_

_She's young…_

_She'll get me out of her system and then move on…_

_But I'll have these two and a half weeks…_

He gulped in air.

_I can do this…_

_This is the best thing…_

_Once she's sees that I'm right, she'll understand it was for the best…_

_I'll give in to the chase and then I'll no longer be the forbidden fruit…_

_Two and half weeks…_

_Better than breaking one's heart…_

_We'll still be friends…_

_We'll still work together…_

Note from author:

Is he kidding himself or what....now you know the direction I'm headed in with this story.

Take care.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen:**

"I'm sorry for what happened," whispered Rogers.

"It wasn't your fault," admitted Grissom.

"Yes it was…at least part of the blame. Mr. Grissom…what I'm about to tell you could jeopardize my job…but I think you should know."

She glanced around the room and began to panic when she found it empty but then the bathroom door opened and he stepped out with Rogers.

"Rash seems better," smiled Rogers.

"It will be gone now that we know what caused it," Grissom announced.

"We do?" asked Sara.

"It seems both you and Grissom are allergic to the soap we use…you seem to be more sensitive than him," explained Rogers.

"Soap? This was caused by soap?" she asked incredulously.

Grissom smiled. She seemed much better.

"It seems they get their soap from the prison…the inmates make several products and…"

Sara's hand interrupted him. "I've heard enough."

Sara slowly sat up.

"How are you feeling?" asked Rogers.

"Like I was in a hockey game and a fight broke out," she muttered.

"Dover has been suspended," stated Rogers. "He's also been formally charged. Captain Brass demanded to see you but I assured him Dr. Grissom was taking good care of you."

Grissom winked slightly at Sara.

"Do we have…soap?" she asked.

Grissom held up a bar of soap. "Name brand stuff."

"Oh yippee," she moaned when she stood.

Grissom watched her cautiously as she made her way around the bed.

She glanced up and noticed the curtain had been pulled back.

Rogers started to step out but Sara called after him. "Hey, Rogers?"

"Yes?"

"Thanks…for not covering for Dover."

"No problem," he said as he stepped out.

He was there the moment she tried to walk across the room.

"Shower…with the new soap," she managed with a slight smile, gritting through the stiffness.

He walked by her side every step of the way but she stopped him once they were inside the bathroom.

"You don't have to do this," she said. "I can manage."

"I know but I want to," he said not sure if she would permit him to remain.

He held up the ointment. "I'll put it on once you're done."

She smiled as she slowly undressed while he watched.

There was a look in his eye that made her stomach flip flop.

She'd never seen the look before in Grissom's eye.

She stepped into the shower and he leaned against the wall for support.

Sara leaned out of the shower. "I really affect you?" she asked innocently.

"In the worse way," he admitted with a grin.

She smiled as she disappeared into the shower.

She was done in a few minutes.

He stood there with towel in hand the moment the water shut off.

She smiled when she saw the gesture.

"I can…do this. I'm just sore," she emphasized.

He ignored the comment but continued to assist her.

She did not even seem to be bothered by the way his hands deftly slipped on the undergarments.

They were the garments Catherine had packed.

"Victoria Secret?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Beauty for beauty," he breathed.

He administered the ointment and then gently examined her head.

"Still hard," she announced trying not to grimace from the pain.

She had no idea why he suddenly pulled her into his arms.

His lips sought hers before dipping down further, planting a kiss between her breasts.

Her skin tingled.

He quickly moved away startling her back to reality.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"Griss…"

He fled from the bathroom leaving her shaken by his actions.

She wasn't sure what had just happened as she finished dressing.

She leaned against the doorway and stared at him as he sat there on his bed.

"Did I do something?" she asked.

"No."

"I thought we agreed…two and a half weeks," she whispered.

"You…sure about this?" he asked.

"I am."

He sat there not sure how to proceed.

Sara sat down on her bed and looked at him.

"I know what I'm doing," she pressed.

"I'm not sure…I know," he admitted. "I mean we haven't even discussed…this."

"I thought we had," she urged.

He looked at her. "Neither of us were prepared…for this."

"Prepared?"

She grinned as his face turned several shades of red.

Sara walked over to her suitcase and pulled out a box, setting it down on the table beside him.

He gawked.

"Catherine thought…about this."

Grissom held up the box of condoms and he frowned but then smiled. "Remind me to give Catherine a very positive evaluation."

His smile faded.

"Now what?" she asked.

There was a tap on the door and then the dinner tray arrived.

"How long did I sleep?" she asked.

"You needed the sleep," he replied as he set the tray down.

He turned and looked at her.

"Have dinner with me?" he asked extending his hand.

"No."

He looked shocked until she grinned.

"Let's have dinner," he urged pulling her into his arms. "Let's see what happens."

"I don't know what to do about this," she choked.

"I do."

He kissed her, pressing himself into her.

She tingled from head to toe.

Despite her desire to skip dinner, he forced her to eat.

He talked about the article as he kept her focused on dinner.

Once they were done, he put the tray away.

"Feeling okay?" he asked.

"I'm good," she replied as they sat there.

He glanced up and her eyes followed his.

"You want to wait until the lights…go out?" she asked.

He returned the curtain to its original position.

"Your bed or mine?" she asked.

"Yours," he announced.

She almost burst at the seams when he insisted that they cuddle.

They lay there in her bed as his hands slowly caressed her arms.

Sara rolled Grissom on his back and practically lay there on top of him.

"I'm not heavy?" she asked.

He smiled as he reached up and kissed her.

"The rash is almost gone?" she asked.

"Yes."

"Why wouldn't you let me help you?" she asked as her fingers sifted through the hair on his chest.

"I didn't think…I thought it bothered you that I had to examine you. I didn't want to hurt you further."

She smiled but then tried to get up.

She groaned as she sat up.

"Sara…"

"Let me see," she insisted.

"Let you see?" he asked.

"We have to work on this communication thing," she muttered and he frowned.

She sighed. "Yes, let me see," she said as her lips curled into a smile.

"Rogers…"

"I want to see," she insisted.

She stood and extended her hand.

He felt awkward as they stepped into the bathroom.

"You've seen me…a lot…but I've never…" she took a deep breath. "You're safe with me."

Her words pained his heart.

He kissed her as he unbuttoned his shirt.

She reached for his belt but he stopped her.

She could sense his vulnerability.

"Want to shower?" she asked. "The new soap…is well…come and shower."

She stripped and stepped into the shower, giving him space.

She felt him step into the shower but she kept her back turned.

He slowly turned her into his arms.

He kissed her fully on the lips as he purposely stepped back.

Her hands traced the faint trace of the rash.

"Your skin is more sensitive than mine," he explained.

"Your skin is warm," she marveled. "So warm."

Her eyes drifted downward and he boldly stood still.

"I really do have an effect on you," she grinned.

He returned the grin as he pressed her against the shower.

Within minutes she was gasping for air.

"Two and a half weeks," she breathed.

For a moment he thought he saw a glimpse of regret but she became the aggressor as she retaliated with an assault of kisses.

Both stopped suddenly when the lights were turned out.

His hand slipped into hers as he guided her out of the shower.

The covers were pulled back and then gently he eased himself onto the bed, mindful of her battered body.

"I won't break," she soothed as she felt his hesitation.

"You've been through so much," he whispered.

"I want this…as much as you do," she confided.

His hand cupped her face as his lips lingered on hers.

She closed her eyes and felt him moving softly over her until his body was mere inches from her.

He glided into her and she rose to meet each wave of emotions that poured from each of them as they made love.

His thrusts were gentle and yet powerful, as she guided him over the edge.

She clung to him as he rolled to the side.

His lips kissed her temple as she tried to steady her emotions.

It had been more intense than anything she had ever experienced.

Her skin tingled from the sensations still pulsating throughout her body.

She knew that he was watching her but at the moment she could not seem to find any words.

His hand stroked her entire body, sending another surge of emotions.

A moan escaped from her lips the moment he touched her intimately.

He rolled on top of her once more and began to make love to her again.

This time, he ravaged her by kissing every inch of her body sending shock waves throughout her body.

He suddenly slipped to the side of the bed pulling her across his chest.

She soon found herself straddling his midsection.

She leaned down, planting kisses along his body.

He pulled her upward kissing her fully but she gasped the moment he settled her onto his shaft.

He waited a moment letting her body adjust before slowing rocking her deeper and deeper until she was caught into the throes of another orgasm.

He wrung out the last gasps before releasing his own.

She collapsed on top of him.

"My Sara," he whispered as he caressed her body.

She curled into his arms as he held her tenderly.

She dozed.

She couldn't remember when she fell asleep.

It had felt wonderfully safe there in his arms as he softly whispered sonnets.

Some she recognized.

Others she didn't but it did not matter.

His voice was soothing and comforting.

She woke to the feel of his body molded to hers.

His arm was protectively wrapped around her as his head nestled in her neck.

She knew he was asleep.

She kissed the palm of his hand, admiring the feel of it on her lips.

She suckled on each finger, lingering once more to plant a kiss in his palm.

She smiled when she felt his body react.

He pretended to sleep as she explored every inch of his body.

Her fingers traveled down his chest, resting on his hips as she kissed his navel.

Her head bobbed up once to check to see if he were awake.

Once she was sure his eyes remained closed, she dipped down and took him into her mouth.

He practically came unglued.

The sensation was far too intense and he withdrew himself.

She sat back on her haunches. "I'm sorry. You were up but then you weren't so I thought…"

Her blush made him chuckle.

She was startled by his laugh.

It had been years since she had heard a laugh from Gilbert Grissom.

"I'm sorry," he stated as he pulled her up to his chest. "That felt too good."

"It was supposed to feel good," she huffed.

He rolled her onto her back. "Yes but if you did that then I couldn't do this," he teased as he gently pressed into her.

She grinned. "I thought you were tired so…"

He kissed her letting her know that he had no interest in sleep when he could make love to her.

Note from author:

Sleep well tonight...I"m buried in snow...LOL

Take care.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter Sixteen:**

Sara pressed her breasts against his chest.

He tried to ignore the sensation but his body was failing miserably.

One touch and his body wanted her.

Her fingers drifted near the book.

"You said we would try this," she said.

He glanced over his glasses at her.

"I'm not sure I can do this," he confessed.

"Grissom, I promise I'll be gentle," she urged.

He frowned at her as she plucked the crossword puzzle from his hand.

One kiss and he released his pencil into her other hand.

"Let's see," she said.

She glanced at him, "You okay?"

"Yes. I can do this," he announced.

Sara studied the puzzle. "Ten across," she purred.

"I'm not sure about that one," he admitted.

She licked her lips.

She grinned as she announced the answer.

She slipped onto him and he sighed at the sensation.

She quickly wrote down the answer before settling down further.

He wanted to yank her further onto his shaft but she stopped him.

"You're next," she smiled.

He grabbed the puzzle, spied an easy one. "Ten down."

He scribbled the answer and made his move into her.

She had to brace herself.

He grinned.

He knew she wanted nothing more than to sink deeper.

He wanted the same.

She grabbed the book and quickly solved the next line.

He groaned from the pleasure of it.

They continued until he lost control, flipping her over and sinking further and further bringing both of them to climax.

"See, you can share a puzzle…you just need incentive," she purred into his ear.

He grinned.

His hand snaked out and pulled her to him.

It had been the best week of his life.

They had become quite comfortable with each other, sharing in everything as well as tending to the other's needs.

The sex was far better than either of them ever imagined.

She felt a change in him with each passing day and she hoped that he would change his mind when they returned to the lab but Grissom's words to Vincent Lurie rattled around in her brain.

"_It's sad, isn't it, doc? Guys like us. Couple of middle-aged men who've allowed their work to consume their lives," said Grissom quietly._

_Lurie stopped and listened. Brass watched as his colleague addressed Lurie ignoring the others in the room. It was odd the man would stop to hear what Grissom had to say particularly now that he knew they could not hold him. Perhaps it was Grissom's tone that got his attention. There was sadness to his voice._

"_The only time we ever touch other people is when we're wearing our latex gloves. We wake up one day and realize that for fifty years we haven't really lived at all. But then, all of a sudden ... we get a second chance." Grissom has caught Lurie's full attention now. _

"_Somebody young and beautiful shows up. Somebody we could care about. She offers us a new life with her but we have a big decision to make, right? Because we have to risk everything we've worked for in order to have her." _

_Grissom looked down at his pad. "I couldn't do it." _

Sara glanced down at Grissom as he slept.

She slipped out of the bed they had been sharing and sat down on the other bed.

_He couldn't do it, Sara…_

_He won't when he goes back…_

_It's what he's been preparing you…_

_There can never be anything outside these walls…_

Sara swiped at a tear.

_Don't!_

_He's given you what he can…_

_He's loved you and cherished you…_

_It's more than some have in a life time…_

She leaned her head against the wall as she closed her eyes.

She could still feel the effects of their lovemaking.

His scent was on her and she breathed in deeply.

She would miss this with every fiber of her being.

She'd never slept this well in years and she wondered how she would ever learn to sleep alone again.

_We'll still be friends…_

_We can still talk…_

_We can share…_

_We just can't touch…_

She jumped the moment his hand caressed her cheek.

It was the first time she had been startled since their agreement.

"I'm sorry," she murmured.

"You were a thousand miles away," he reasoned.

"Yes, I was."

He took a deep breath and then gathered her hands into his.

"Sara, we meet people on the worse day of their life. It's easy to get caught up in…"

"I've heard this lecture before," she chided.

"You need to get a diversion," he urged. "I don't want you to get caught up in the lab when we get back."

"And what do you plan to do?" she asked.

"Ride a roller coaster," he said with a grin.

"Maybe I'll take up roller coasters," she challenged. "We could…"

She knew they wouldn't and she stopped herself.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Griss…"

She couldn't ask and the look in his eyes told her she would not like the answer.

"_I couldn't do it."_

"Promise you'll stay my friend?" she asked.

"Friends…always."

"But promise me," she insisted.

"Promise," he answered as he swiped the tear from her cheek.

"You should be…glad we're getting out of here…with it being that time of the month soon and you know how I was before."

He grinned. "So I was right."

"At least your bathroom skills have improved," she teased.

"At least you share the bathroom now…even the shower," he grinned.

Her smile slowly faded. "I know we only have…"

"Don't. Stop counting down the days," he corrected.

Her heart leaped a bit.

"Why not?"

"Let's just savor every moment, enjoy what we have," he said as he leaned over and kissed her.

Her lips caressed his as he pulled her into his arms.

Days passed and the urgency of their need to be with one another increased. There was hardly a moment that they were not touching one another.

Their lovemaking was intense and each time Grissom lingered a little longer inside her not wanting to break their union.

They began to nap during the day spending most of their nights awake now.

They each were silently preparing themselves for graveyard.

Grissom jerked awake the moment her body lurched away from his. She gasped out loud as she sat on the edge of the bed.

She had not dreamed since they had begun sharing a bed.

His hand gently reached out and took hers.

"Bad dream?"

She nodded, still trying to throw off the images from the dream.

"Come back to bed," he soothed.

She shook her head, grabbing her robe as she padded off to the bathroom.

He expected she would return in a few minutes but she remained.

He tapped lightly before entering the bathroom.

She splashed water on her face once more as he handed her a towel.

"Better?" he asked.

"I'm fine. Go back to sleep," she whispered.

"Want to talk about it?" he asked.

She shook her head as she fumbled with the towel.

"Sara…"

"We leave tomorrow," she said.

"Yes, we do."

Sara pulled her hair back.

"Going to take a shower?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Want some company?"

They had been inseparable but he asked out of politeness, already anticipating the feel of making love to her in the shower.

"No. I'll just be a minute," she choked.

He was shocked but he stepped out of the room.

He'd made it half across the room when he heard the first sob followed by the water in the shower.

She had not intended to cry.

It had been the best two and a half weeks of her life.

She felt loved and it was the first time that she could ever remember having the luxury of that emotion.

She braced herself against the wall as she cried.

She felt it was best to get it over with and proceed with this charade of his.

There was no way she could ever imagine finding the kind of diversion she knew he wanted for her.

She'd already found it but he could not risk loving her.

She felt embarrassed when he stepped into the shower, folding his arms around her.

He kissed her lightly behind her ear and she shivered.

In just a few short weeks, he had learned all of the sensitive spots.

He turned her in his arms, not breaking the contact or the kiss that began tenderly but now bruised her lips as he began his assault.

He lifted her leg, wrapping it around his waist. She moaned the moment he sunk deep into her.

"Trust me?" he whispered.

"Intimately," she cried as he plunged deeper and deeper.

He slowed himself. "Need to be careful," he reasoned. "Not get…carried away."

She wanted him to get carried away.

She pushed him back against the shower wall and forced him deep inside her.

He started to pull out but she refused to budge.

"Stay here…inside of me for a moment," she pleaded. "I need to feel you."

"Sara…we need to take this to the bed."

"Just another minute," she urged.

"Another minute and I'll…"

It was all she needed to know, she grinded her hips into him and he was completely and utterly lost.

He slammed into her again and again.

She rode the sensations out, marveling at the control this man had.

He pulled out just in time.

Later they lay in bed her legs were wrapped tightly around him as they climaxed once more.

He kissed her nose as she leaned down.

Her fingers sifted through his beard.

"That tickles," he said.

"I know," she grinned. "I love your beard."

She glanced at him once or twice.

"What?" he asked.

"Griss…we've used condoms…but there have been times where we…ejaculation is not the only time sperm…"

"I have a low sperm count…not likely," he answered.

"How uhm do you know?"

"Men…we like to…do experiments. I've known for years."

"Oh."

"Sara, it's highly unlikely you could get pregnant by me."

"Is that the reason why…you…never…stayed with anyone?"

"I've never loved anyone. I had my work…there was little room for anything else."

His hands cupped her face. "Find a diversion that's right for you. Find some young and…smart…not too smart…but find someone Sara. Have a family."

"I never wanted a family," she lamented. "Just you."

He sighed. "We go back to the lab tomorrow."

She rolled off of him. "I know that."

"Sara…"

"I can do this," she breathed.

She watched as he began to pack his things.

She did the same.

They each sat there on their beds.

"Friends," she whispered.

"Friends," he said as he extended his hand.

Note from author:

Well....we'll see what happens...outside the walls...

Take care


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter Seventeen:**

She felt the eyes on her as she walked down the hall toward the conference room.

She sidestepped Hodges as he hung out in the hall.

She kept her eyes focused on the messages, sifting through them.

The lab had survived without them.

She forced herself not to react when she heard his voice.

He took the files from Catherine.

"So how was it?" asked Catherine.

"Restful," he replied.

"I mean…with the two of you. Before you two were thrown into the insane asylum things were pretty tense between the two of you."

"Everything is fine," he said as he frowned. "Why haven't we gone to trial on the Craig case?"

"We had some new evidence to come up," she said as she swatted him on the arm.

"Ouch," he yelped.

"You mean to tell me nothing happened?" she asked quietly.

"Catherine, if you hit me again, I'm not going to give you a positive evaluation next month."

"You always give me a good evaluation because I'm good…for this lab and…to you."

"Yes, you are," he said with a smile.

Catherine gawked. "Something did happen!"

"Yes it did."

_I'm going to have Ecklie by the balls…_

_Just when I need him…_

Sara felt her pulse race.

_Is he going to admit that we…_

Grissom turned and faced Catherine. "I got out of that seminar Ecklie wanted me to go to in his place."

Grissom headed off down the hall.

"News flash. It was rescheduled," Catherine called.

Grissom halted and turned to see Catherine smirk.

He frowned as he noticed Sara at the end of the hall.

"Sara, Greg could use some help," he called. "Vacation is over."

Greg walked up to Sara. "We get to go dumpster diving."

"Hi Greg," she said with a forced smile.

"Now that's what I've missed around here," called out Nick as he hugged her. "Nothing like a Sidle smile to brighten anyone's day-night…anyone know what time it is?"

"You look tired," she said as he leaned into her.

"I probably smell too. I just finished a double…and it was not pretty," he griped.

"That's okay. Greg and I are about to go play in a dumpster," she retorted.

"Dumpster diving on the first day back," grinned Warrick.

"How was your lock up with Grissom?" asked Nick.

"Like being in an insane asylum," she remarked.

"Oh…that was a great response," laughed Warrick.

"Be safe," chuckled Nick as he kissed her on the cheek before heading out the door. "Don't call me!"

Sara's eyes skirted past Grissom as he made his rounds in the lab.

She grabbed her jacket and headed out of the lab.

There were a few glimpses here and there of him for the next few days.

She had not worked a single case with him since their return.

He had opted to work with Catherine as well as Warrick.

She stretched once more as she plopped down at the conference table.

"You already look tired," observed Nick.

"I'm still trying to adjust to graveyard," she yawned.

"Listen Sara, I have this friend…he's relocating to this area and we're going out for a few beers. I thought…"

"No blind dates," she warned.

"It's not," he urged. "You just…"

Grissom stepped into the conference room. "I have assignments," he announced as he held them up.

She wasn't expecting to work with him.

They had barely spoken five words to one another since they returned.

She had left a message at his home but he had not returned the call and she took it to mean that he had rescinded his promise.

Sleep was rare these days as she struggled with her emotions.

"Sara, you're with me," he called.

She had been barely listening to the assignments.

She grabbed her things and eagerly waited for him by his vehicle.

Neither said a word until they were out of the parking lot.

"Why didn't you take Nick up on his offer?" he asked.

She was surprised that he even knew about it.

"I don't do blind dates and besides…"

"Work on the diversion," he ordered.

"What if I don't want to?" she asked.

"Then you're going to burn out."

"And you…have you ridden a roller coaster yet?"

"No. I've been busy," he admitted.

"I called you."

"I've been busy," he repeated.

"Too busy to talk…to me? Catherine said she spoke with you the other night…"

He pulled over. "We agreed."

"Yes we did. We agreed to be friends but you won't even talk with me. If you see me in the hall, you…"

"I act as though nothing has changed…it hasn't," he emphasized.

She wilted before his very eyes but she recovered quickly. "No it hasn't."

He stepped out of the vehicle and grabbed his kit.

He handed over her kit and she took it.

"You're still as shitty as you were before," she breathed.

Brass caught the comment and chuckled.

"What did you do to her?" he asked.

"Reminded her we have a job," he said.

The shift turned into a double as they continued at the crime scene.

He studied her from a distance.

She bent her head to the side as she fought the exhaustion.

He felt much the same.

There were too many sleepless days as he tried to adjust to sleeping alone again.

His mind tried to focus on the case but he was drawn to her.

He cursed inwardly.

He knew this would happen if he paired himself with her but he couldn't resist.

He needed to be near her again even if it were sifting through a murder investigation.

"Several empty beer bottles were found on the counter. She didn't seem the type to leave things lying around."

Brass glanced around. "I wished my wife had kept our house half as clean as this. I rarely saw the floor."

"Glad you appreciate cleanliness," she drawled as she examined the bottle nestled between the pillows on the couch. She pulled out a bottle of scotch.

"Someone had good taste," muttered Brass.

Grissom glanced at the discovery. "Some people hide the fact that they drink," he announced.

"It wasn't really hidden. It was there in plain view," she retorted. "Some people choose not to see what they need to."

Brass glanced between the two.

"I keep a bottle beside the couch. Saves me from having to go to the kitchen," he said.

Grissom glared.

"Of course I rarely drink," he added as he cleared his throat.

She dropped the bottle into an evidence bag and labeled it.

She sat down on the couch and stared at the phone.

"What is it?" asked Grissom.

"Her phone has messages," she said.

Sara pressed the button. "Sharon, it's mom. Call home sweetie."

The message was followed by a loud beep then a man's voice came on.

"It's me honey. I'm working late. Sorry about dinner. I'll call you when I get off. Love you."

The message was followed by another message. "Honey, pick up the phone if you're there. Listen, my boss wants me to fly out to New York. I'll be back in two days. I have to head home and pack now. Call me on my cell. I miss you."

"It's me again. I'm getting worried. I haven't heard from you. My plane just landed. Call me. I need to hear your voice. Take care."

Sara coughed. "The last message was left six hours ago."

"The person who reported the murder said the boyfriend had been trying to reach her and when he couldn't he asked one of their friend's to come by and check on her," stated Brass.

"Rules out the boyfriend," stated Sara.

"Rules him out as the trigger person. He could have hired someone to do it," reasoned Brass.

"He's not involved," replied Sara.

"How can you be so sure?" asked Grissom.

"He loved her…it was in his voice," answered Sara as she collected the phone for evidence.

"That's not very scientific," he huffed.

"Love isn't a science…it a matter of the heart," she said.

Grissom was glad that Brass had stepped into the other room.

"Are we finished…here?" he asked harshly.

"Yes, we are," she shot back.

She rubbed her temple as she sat there quietly beside Grissom.

He had said little since leaving the crime scene.

His jaw flinched and she noticed.

"You're angry," she said.

"I'm not," he replied.

"How are you sleeping?" he asked.

"Alone," she replied.

"Sara…"

"Sorry it was a cheap shot. I'm just tired."

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"I'm fine, Grissom. I just need some sleep."

He rubbed his forehead.

"Headache?" she asked.

"It's been a hard week," he admitted.

"You don't have to pull so many doubles. You could get the others…"

"Have the young…men do it…not the old entomologist?"

She furrowed her brow. "You're the boss…we're the employees. You have some lead way…but if you think you're old…then I guess you are old," she threw at him as she stepped out of the vehicle and headed into the lab.

Her phone rang several hours later as she tossed for the hundredth time.

"Sidle," she yawned.

"Are you drinking again?" he asked.

She hung up the phone and let it ring several times before answering it again.

"I wanted to make sure I didn't miss the signs…this time," he explained.

"I had a beer with Greg. He wanted to bring me up to speed on the lab and pump me for information."

Grissom rolled over, stuffing a pillow under his head. "Catherine did the same thing to me."

"It figures."

"Sara…"

"I ran into the boyfriend," she said out of the blue.

"Boyfriend?"

"The guy on the answering machine. I recognized his voice. He was asking Judy for directions to the morgue so I took him there."

Sara threw a pillow as her feet hit the floor.

"Aren't you going to ask…what happened?" she asked as she padded off to the kitchen.

"The friend identified the body. There was no need for him to come in."

"He needed to see her. He was hoping that there had been some huge mistake and it wasn't her. Like that ever happens…well rarely but not in this case. I uhm watched him as he looked at her."

"Were you right?" asked Grissom softly.

"Right?"

"Did he love her?"

Sara gulped. "He cried. Doc gave him a few minutes with her…he was getting ready to do the autopsy. He pulled out this engagement ring and wanted to put it on her finger but Doc explained that he couldn't touch the body. He begged Doc. He told us that he had been planning to do that all week but the trip got in the way and he never got the chance."

Sara reached for the beer in the fridge but stopped herself, opting for the juice.

"It affected Doc...as much as it did me. I think I heard a sniffle or two out of Doc as I asked a few preliminary questions. God, Grissom. I wish I had been wrong….the boyfriend looked so broken…so lost without her."

"I'm sorry, honey."

"Me too."

"I ordered you a copy of that forensic magazine. It will take a few weeks before it begins. You can borrow mine until…"

"I'm not going to drink," she breathed.

"I know," he soothed. "Sara…get a diversion…soon."

Note from author:

so....they're back...

take care.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter Eighteen:**

"Go away Greg," warned Sara.

"Come on Sara. I have two tickets…and I need a date."

"I'm not a mercy date," she snipped.

"I know you like the band."

"You asked someone else," she said taking the coffee he offered.

"Yes but I prefer to go with you."

"You're only saying that because she cancelled on you."

"That's because we were meant to go together," he urged.

"I don't have the night off," she shot back, hoping he would drop the subject.

"Who doesn't have the night off?" asked Grissom.

"Sara wants to go to a concert with me but she's on the schedule for next Thursday," announced Greg.

"Concert?"

"Yeah and Sara loves them."

Sara ignored the conversation, sipping on her coffee.

"Lifehouse?" questioned Grissom.

"Wow. The boss man has taste," grinned Greg.

"Sara listened to them a lot while we…" his voice trailed off.

She had actually gotten him to listen to her ipod a few times.

She had rewarded him with taking the initiative in their lovemaking.

"She can switch with Nick. I'm sure he won't mind," said Grissom as he filled his coffee cup and left.

Sara frowned.

"See, the schedule problem has been fixed."

Sara took her cup and fled.

His phone rang hours later.

He set the magazine on the pillow beside him.

"Grissom."

"I didn't want to go with Greg," she whined.

"Greg is good practice," he said leaning back in his bed.

"Greg likes me."

"Yes but you don't…Greg is a safe guy…to go out with…get used to doing things again."

"You want me to date Greg?" she asked incredulously.

He grinned. "That would make Greg's day."

Sara's fingers picked at the lace on her gown. "Nick has asked me out."

Grissom sat up. "He's still trying to set you up with his friend?"

"He…was asking me…for himself," she said.

Grissom closed his eyes as he tried to imagine she were sitting next to him, having the conversation.

"Nick is a good man," he said.

"You're Nick's boss," she stated.

"So you can't date someone under my supervision? I guess Greg doesn't stand a chance," he smirked.

"Nick is a nice guy," she agreed cautiously.

Grissom's feet hit the floor.

He sat there on the edge of the bed.

"Nick is a good choice," he breathed.

"Husband material," she added.

"So you're going from dating to marriage in one swoop?" he asked.

"Why date a person if he's not husband material…it's just a waste of time," she reasoned.

"I never thought of it that way since I never planned to marry."

There was a brief pause.

"You're not on the schedule for tonight," she said.

"I have plans."

"Riding a roller coaster?" she asked.

"I have a date."

Sara's stomach knotted.

"Someone I know?" she asked.

"Heather Kessler."

Sara swallowed hard.

"Didn't take you long…"

Both were silent.

"She invited me to dinner…heard about…the contamination," he explained.

"Do you like her?" she asked.

"Sara…she isn't looking for a relationship or marriage, just companionship."

"Companionship is nice…even I…"

"Go on the date with Nick."

"Do you want me to have sex with Nick also?"

He swallowed.

"It's none of my business."

"So it's your business if I drink but it doesn't matter if I screw every man in Vegas?"

"You mentioned Nick…not every man in Vegas."

"You want me to sleep with Nick?" she asked sounding hurt.

"Sara, your private life is your business."

The phone clicked.

He held the phone and contemplated calling her.

He swallowed the glass of water by his bed.

He was still thirsty….with need for her.

_Sara thinks of Nick as a brother…_

_She wouldn't sleep with him…_

_But he would be nice to her…_

_Treat her special…_

He spent the next several hours considering every man in the lab and dismissing all of them.

_She needs someone outside the lab…_

_That would be a real diversion…_

_I wouldn't have to see them together either…_

_What are you saying?_

_You think you can sit by and watch her give herself to someone else?_

He called her.

The phone rang several times but she refused to answer it.

She grabbed her beeper the moment it went off.

She called him back.

"You rang," she drawled.

"You need to get a life…I never got one," he tried to explain.

"You could…you chose not to," she clarified.

"I've never…I've never been in a relationship before," he admitted.

She stopped suddenly, pressing her cheeks against the cold wall of her bedroom.

"Neither have I," she whispered.

She thought for a moment he had hung up until he finally added. "I'm trying to be a friend."

"You've never really been someone's friend either….have you?" she asked.

"I sometimes forget…I don't…no," he admitted.

She sighed. "It figures."

This time she heard the click of the phone.

It had come out completely wrong.

This time he didn't answer the phone.

She showered, drinking a cup of tea while she mentally kicked herself.

He had been opening up and she had been callous with her comments.

_Careful, Sara…._

She tried once more and he finally answered.

"I didn't mean it the way it came out. It does help explain things. Grissom, besides you, I have no other friends."

"Yes, you do. You have Nick, Greg…"

"Their coworkers…they're not…best friends…I don't tell them…personal things."

He thought about this for a moment and remembered her reluctance to talk with Warrick.

"I tell you…just you," she added.

"I'm not a good…best friend. Am I?" he asked.

"You're improving," she smiled.

A moment of silence passed.

"Sara, if I ride a roller coaster, will you…go out…with someone?"

"Okay, I'll go to the concert with Greg."

"Go out…with Nick."

She kicked at the covers on her bed.

"Why Nick?"

He let out a sigh of frustration. "We both agree Nick is a good man."

"We both know that I have feelings for Nick already…but it's not romantic…it's…he's like family," she stuttered.

"Which is why you should go out with him. You trust him. He could teach…you…how a man is supposed to treat a lady."

Her eyes misted.

"You think I can't make the right choice?" she said flopping over onto her stomach.

"You didn't with Hank Pettigrew. You deserve better."

"What do you know about Hank?" she whispered.

"I know about his fiancé. It wasn't difficult to figure out."

"It was for me. We dated for months and I never knew about her until that old woman plowed into the coffee shop"

"You accept what you can get even though it doesn't make you happy."

"Are we talking about Hank or you?" she asked.

"Both. Do you see my point?" he asked as he gave up trying to sleep in the bed.

He didn't think she was going to respond but a quiet "yes" was heard.

"Take Nick up on the offer. Go out…have fun…live life…and then when you're ready…go find that husband material guy."

"Just like that? Find someone?"

"Yes."

The next day she sat in the locker room waiting for Nick.

She glanced at her watch and knew he would be stepping into the lab any minute.

Nick stepped around the corner and smiled. "Sleep any better?" he asked.

"Some."

Nick opened the locker, putting his jacket away.

He noticed that Sara was still sitting on the bench.

"Everything okay?" he asked.

"Yes…no. I need a date," she blurted out.

He grinned. "Got some special occasion coming up?"

"I need a life. I need something other than my job," she explained as she stood grabbing her notebook.

"This bubonic plague scare…gave you a new perspective," he commented as he glanced at her.

"When you asked the other day I thought it was for your friend so I turned you down but then when you clarified that it was you and I still turned you down…can I have second thoughts?"

"I think my ego is still being battered here. I've never considered myself as a second thought," he teased.

"You're right. You deserve someone who is really interested the first time and not the…" she stopped when she saw Nick gawk at her.

"I tend to over talk when I'm nervous so I'm going to shut up and go to the conference room."

Nick grabbed her hand. "Hold on. I didn't say we couldn't. My momma turned my father down five times before she finally went out with him."

"Nick, really…"

"Let's go get some breakfast…after shift…see how that goes…just the two of us," he offered.

She nodded and fled.

The breakfast did not go as planned.

Nick chuckled at Sara as the others sat down with them.

"Hey, good idea about coming here rather than Frank's," smiled Catherine as she scooted into the booth.

"You guys could have told us," chided Warrick. "I almost missed the turn. Good thing Grissom saw the two of you turn off."

Sara glanced at Grissom whose head was stuck in a menu.

"I merely said that Sara and Nick were turning off," he stated. "I didn't say follow them."

Nick's eyes darted between Grissom and Sara.

"I'm glad they did. The food is much better here," stated Catherine.

"Next time, we'll be sure to tell the rest of you guys," said Sara as she glanced through the menu.

The conversation began as Catherine commented about the case.

The others chimed in but then Nick focused his conversation at Sara.

Soon the two were chatting nonstop, not paying attention to the others as they continued together.

Grissom tried to follow Catherine's rant while eavesdropping on Sara's.

When they were finished, Nick grabbed Sara's check.

She smiled.

"Hey, you're not going to pick up mine?" whined Warrick.

Nick ignored the jab as he stepped out of the booth, waiting patiently for Sara.

His hand took her elbow, leading her out into the parking lot.

Sara dropped the file into the basket as she started to leave for the day.

She had made it to her car when she heard Nick.

"Hey," he called.

"Breakfast was good," she said. "You didn't have to pick up the check."

"Our date," he said. "Next time let's try it without so many chaperones."

She grinned.

"How about dinner before work this evening?" he asked.

"Two meals in one day?" she teased.

"Let's have dinner…let's see what happens," he urged.

His words hit home.

They had been her words to Grissom and she quickly put the sunglasses in place to hide the slight moisture in her eyes.

"Dinner," she agreed.

Nick opened her car door for her.

"I'll pick you up. We can ride in together this evening," he offered.

She accepted.

She would have accepted anything in order to flee.

Grissom had just stepped out of the building.

Nick turned with a huge smile plastered on his face.

It made Grissom's stomach churn.

Note from author:

Yeah, he deserves it...but don't you feel a little sorry for him....don't answer...LOL


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter Nineteen:**

Nick was very prompt.

He wore a nice dress jacket and tie which he later took off at Sara's insistence.

She glanced down at her own choice of clothing and fretted.

"I thought since we were going into work later, I would just wear…"

"You look nice," he said trying to put her at ease.

"Wait…right here," she stressed as she disappeared into her bedroom.

She returned sporting a nice blouse and jacket.

Nick smiled. "Nice…very nice."

The dinner was good as well as the conversation.

Both felt comfortable with one another.

Nick finally leaned forward in his seat.

"How did Grissom know that I asked you out?" he asked.

Sara fidgeted. "He overheard…you…that day. He told me you were a good man and that I should go out with you."

Nick smiled. "I'm glad my boss thinks…"

Nick stopped for a moment. "You and Grissom…the two of you never…"

Sara shook her head. "We're friends. He insists I get a life…outside the lab."

"I agree. I try to date as much as possible. Our schedules don't help matters," muttered Nick.

"Nick….do you find me…wife material?" she asked.

He choked on his drink. "Excuse me?"

"No…wait, I didn't mean…marry you…I mean…me…am…I the type that you would…no I mean am I the type that a guy…a decent guy would marry?"

"Boy, you really do over talk when you're nervous," he chuckled.

Sara gulped down her glass of water.

"My mother would be very pleased if I brought you home. Yes, you are very wife material…I never thought you were the type that wanted to get married."

"I don't."

He looked confused.

"I just want someone that is husband material…it doesn't mean…we don't have to marry…just…you know… have the same…ideas about a relationship."

"You really got burned by Hank Pettigrew," gritted Nick.

"Does everyone know about Hank?" she asked.

He nodded.

Sara sulked.

Nick grinned. "I think I followed what you were saying. You want to meet a decent guy."

Sara nodded.

"I'd like to meet a decent girl also…there's a lot of shallow women here in Vegas…looking for a rich guy…with good looks and a fast car."

"One out of three isn't bad," she teased.

"You don't think my car is fast?"

She laughed out loud.

"I missed you while you were gone," he said as he held her hand.

His touch was warm.

They arrived at the lab a few minutes before shift.

"I know you like to get here early so you can check on Grissom. I'm glad you're looking out for one another."

"Most of the time he's an ass but he's trying to learn to be a good friend."

Nick grinned. "Just don't call him that to his face."

"Too late," she grinned.

"Sounds like the two of you settled some things while being cooped up for a month."

Sara looked away for a moment. "I guess we did."

They both got out of the car.

Nick made his way around to her side as she started toward the door but his hand caught her elbow pulling her back.

"We didn't have a proper goodbye," he said.

"Nick, we'll probably be working together," she grinned.

"Thank you for dinner," he said as he stepped toward her.

"Thanks...it was very nice."

"Sara, do you mind if I kiss you?"

Her eyes widened.

She could not imagine kissing Nick.

She couldn't imagine kissing anyone since Grissom.

"You don't kiss on the first date?" he asked.

"The second," she blurted out.

He pulled her into his arms before she could resist.

Nick's lips gently glided over hers as his hands caressed her back.

Sara stood there motionless, caught up in the moment.

He took it as a good sign and deepened the kiss.

It was rather nice and for a moment Sara's eyes remained closed.

Nick kissed her once more on the lips before stepping back.

"See you at work," he whispered.

Sara leaned against the car as she watched Nick disappear inside.

Her fingers touched her lips as she glanced around.

She scurried inside.

Grissom stepped out of his vehicle and slammed the car door.

She was paired with Greg that night.

It was supposed to be a simple case of robbery but then things changed.

It was Brass who called Grissom giving very few details but shouted to get his ass down there and he did.

He tried to take in the scene as it unfolded but the sight of another patrol car, an ambulance and Children's Services parked in front of the house caused him to hurry his step toward the house.

Brass saw him and quickly pulled him to the side.

"There was an altercation between Mr. Johnson and…,"

Grissom hurried into the house.

His eyes locked with Sara's as she held the ice pack to the back of Greg's head.

"Mr. Johnson got mad at the six year old and slapped the child," explained Sara. "Greg tried to intervene when the father tried to kick the child while she was on the floor. Mr. Johnson shoved Greg and he hit his head."

The paramedic examined the cut.

Doesn't need stitches," he advised.

"See…hard like mine," grinned Sara as Greg winced.

Grissom turned away, relief flooding throughout his body.

"Greg can go back with you. I'll finish here," offered Sara.

He couldn't argue.

As he led Greg out of the house, he glanced back.

He could see her talking softly to the children.

Her hand caressed the cheek of the small girl.

Her eyes drifted to his briefly before he stepped out of sight.

Nick was waiting for her when she returned.

She threw her things into her locker and let him escort her out of the building.

Grissom slowed his pace, not wishing to catch up with them as he headed out as well.

He felt a slight twinge of jealousy as Nick's hand rested easily around Sara's shoulders.

She leaned into Nick as they both laughed.

Grissom glanced at his vehicle.

Turning, he stepped back inside the lab, deciding to finish a crossword puzzle he'd started earlier.

There was no need to rush home.

He would sleep little anyway.

Sara refused another piece of pizza as Nick offered it to her.

"Nick, thanks for coming here…ordering in…I wasn't up to going anywhere," she admitted.

"I saw Greg. Good thing you didn't get in the middle of it."

"Greg was a hero," she smiled.

"I heard you grabbed the child…put her behind you. If Brass hadn't come in, he might have…"

"The mother just stood there."

"She's probably been knocked around enough, she decided to stay out of it," reasoned Nick.

"She should have protected Amy," gritted Sara. "She was going to let him beat that child for no reason."

Sara left the couch and began cleaning up the remains of the pizza.

Nick assisted following her into the kitchen.

Sara stood there with her arms folded about herself.

"You mind if I try something?" she asked.

He shook his head.

Sara took him by surprise when she grabbed Nick pulling him against her.

The kiss was more intense than the last one they had shared.

It was Sara who initiated it and it was Sara who pulled back.

"Did you feel anything?" she asked.

He nodded but then shook his head.

"You're not going to go out with me anymore, are you?" he asked.

"If I did, it wouldn't be fair. I…."

"I'm not husband material," he sighed.

"Yes, you are…but there's…nothing…between us…more like…"

"Don't say it. I never liked kissing my sisters and well, this was pretty darn close."

Both chuckled.

"Sara…I have this friend. He's a really nice guy," he offered.

"I'll think about it," she replied.

"Some guy is going to be thrilled to have you…just don't date Greg," he added.

She smiled. "That would really be like…dating a family member."

She let the kiss on the cheek linger there for a moment before opening the door.

As he stepped out, Nick whispered into her ear. "You don't need any practice kissing."

"Thanks."

Sara tossed the report into the basket as she glanced at Greg.

"How's the head?" she asked.

"It was fine until I started with the incident report. I think there would have been less paperwork if I had been killed."

Sara pursed her lips. "You did good, Greg."

"By the time I finished with the first incident report, he had already made bail," griped Greg.

"Well at least the kids…"

"Are back with the mother," he finished.

"What happened to the charges against her?" asked Sara.

"Judge released the children to the mother this morning. She promised not to let the husband back into the household," replied Greg.

"Right," muttered Sara.

Grissom leaned out of his office. "Sara, you need to help Catherine."

It wasn't that she didn't like working with Catherine, she just didn't like the conversations that Catherine initiated.

Sara dodged the questions about the asylum despite Catherine's best efforts.

There were always talks of hairstyles and clothing and of course the gossip in the office.

"You and Grissom seem to be more at peace," Catherine commented.

"We learned to get along," reasoned Sara.

"You know for years Brass and I thought that we should put the two of you in a locked room and not let you out until you settled this thing between you," eyed Catherine.

"Thing?"

"Whatever has been making the two of you butt heads."

"Oh."

"So…what happened?"

"Grissom used a piece of chalk and divided the room in half."

"You're kidding?" exclaimed Catherine.

"We learned to…get along."

"You stayed on your side the whole time?" asked Catherine incredulously.

"Yes."

It wasn't a lie.

They had spent most of the time on her side but she wasn't about to tell Catherine that.

She hurried inside the lab, grateful to be done but was instantly met by Grissom at the door.

His hand took hold of her elbow and led her toward his office.

It was odd since the others were looking at them.

It was Greg's face that made her uneasy.

They stepped into his office and he closed the door.

"What happened?" she asked.

"Mr. Johnson killed his wife and children," he said.

Sara slumped down into a chair.

She felt shell shocked at the news.

"Warrick is coming in to assist Nick," he explained.

"I can work," she mumbled.

"I don't want you or Greg near the case," he ordered.

She nodded.

"Sara…"

She was already gone.

He leaned back in his chair and cursed.

She meant to keep her word, dodging the layout room as the evidence was brought in.

She avoided the photos displayed as well as the whispers by the lab technicians.

She was certain she had stayed clear, going to see David about some x-rays that were to be taken of her latest victim.

She took the manila folder from his hands but noticed he was rather upset.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"I never get used to…the children," he mourned.

Sara tried not to look.

She hadn't even paid any attention, focusing on the report she was reading when she stepped into the morgue.

She figured the autopsies would have already been completed.

She was wrong.

It seemed that bodies were stacking up.

Doc was already out in the field on another one.

Her head turned and she saw her.

Her eyes drifted from the young girl to her brother and then the mother.

David continued to speak but she did not hear a word.

She stepped out of the morgue and into Grissom's path.

One look at her face and he knew she had seen the bodies.

"I told you to stay clear of the…"

Sara held up the folder. "I needed these…to go with my report," she explained. "I thought…it was okay...Doc would have already finished…with them."

He fought the urge to hold her.

She was so close and yet inches did not soothe his need to feel her against his body.

"Are you okay?" he crooned.

"It's not fair," she lamented glancing back at the morgue entrance. "It's not fair.

"Sara…"

He didn't know how to comfort her.

His words had never been comforting in situations like this. They had always come out sounding very detached.

He wanted very much to soothe her pain.

He glanced around stepping toward her but she took matters into her own hands.

She fled.

Note from author:

Well, you didn't think the Nick thing would last more than a chapter... There are lots of guesses but...continue with the story


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter Twenty:**

"Nick, have you seen Sara?" asked Grissom as he peered into the break room.

"She clocked out a few minutes ago. She's pretty torn up about the Johnson case," he said in a low voice. "Listen, Grissom. I wanted to thank you for putting in a good word for me…with Sara but it seems I'm not…I'm more brotherly material than husband material," he said with a grin.

Grissom nodded.

"I know she talks with you about things…maybe you could check on her. I offered to come over but she turned me down. She usually does that when she's upset about this kind of case."

"I'll make sure she's okay," assured Grissom.

He told himself to remain calm when she did not answer her phone.

He told himself not to panic when he drove by her apartment and her car was not there.

He tried her cell again as he headed to the townhouse.

"Sidle."

"I've been trying to reach you," he barked.

"A case?"

"Sara, you left without coming by my office," he miffed.

"I didn't know I was required to do that at the end of every shift," she retorted.

Grissom took a deep breath. "I was worried."

"Sorry. I…just needed to get out of there," she cried.

"You're exhausted. Get some sleep," he urged.

"Sleep?" she quivered. "Not right now."

"Are you at home?" he asked.

"No."

"Where are you?"

"Driving."

"Where are you going?"

"Anywhere but home."

"Sara…"

"I'm so tired, Grissom."

He turned off the ignition and stepped out of his car.

"Come…to me," he consoled.

The door opened as if he had been waiting there for her to arrive.

She slipped in, slipped out of her jacket and onto the couch.

Neither spoke as they sat there across from one another.

She closed her eyes briefly, and she felt him brush past her.

Just being in close proximity to him helped calm, soothe her.

A warm cup of tea was nudged into her hands and she took it.

"Sara…"

"This won't happen again. I just wasn't prepared…for that…so soon."

"It's part of our job," he cautioned.

"Well, it may be but I can't just turn it off…just go home, eat, sleep and then come back to another body."

"A diversion…"

"Don't. I get it…I'm trying Grissom. I did what you asked me to do."

"I talked with Nick," he struggled.

"He kissed me." Her eyes flitted to his for a reaction, saw none and proceeded. "It was good…but then I kissed him and…it felt so…wrong."

"You knew that when you agreed to date him. It was for experience. Next time…"

"I told Nick…he kind of knew also. There won't be a next time."

"Sara, Nick was just practice."

"Griss…" Her eyes pleaded.

"You're tired. You just need some sleep," he rationalized.

"Can I sleep here?" she blurted.

He gripped his cup.

"Sara…"

His hand raked through his hair as he carried his cup back to the kitchen.

He heard the click of the door and whirled around.

She was gone.

He hurried outside but she was already speeding down the road.

His trembling hand dialed her number.

"Get some rest, Grissom."

"I can't. I'm worried about my friend."

"I'm going home."

"Come back. We can talk," he begged.

Sara swiped at her eyes.

"I don't want to talk, Grissom."

"What do you want?"

He knew the answer to that.

He quickly corrected himself.

"What do you need?"

"A life," she cried.

She cursed out loud as she pulled over, giving herself a moment to calm down.

"I'm sorry, honey. I know you hurt."

"Shut up Grissom. Don't try to pretend that it didn't bother you too."

"Yes, it did. It wasn't fair. They were just babes."

"She didn't want to go with the social worker. She wanted to stay with her mother even though she'd been kicked around most of her life."

"She was afraid of the unknown. She was afraid to think that there was something better…for her…just waiting."

"I hate you sometimes," she whispered.

"I know. Are you going to be alright?"

"I'll see you tonight," she replied, closing the phone and her lifeline.

She knew if she needed, she could call.

He would answer.

It gave her some comfort.

She had stepped over the line when in a weakened moment asked to sleep over.

She knew he would never allow it but she had to ask, had to push, had to do something for her troubled heart.

He was trying.

She couldn't ask for more.

He had not reverted back to his mean selfish ways.

Grissom was calling her, checking on her, guiding her toward a life she wanted but it would be a life without him.

It wasn't quite true.

He promised to be her friend, her best friend and she promised she could try this thing called life…without him.

"Grissom, I am not going out with him!" she spat.

"He's a nice man."

"He's the assistant D.A."

"He's a friend."

"Since when?"

"He's been very supportive of the lab," he countered.

"I don't know him. I've barely said three words to the man."

"He knows you."

"How?"

"He saw you in the hall the other day and asked about you."

Sara sat down on the stool at the counter, pouring herself another cup of coffee as she held the phone to her ear.

"Is that your second cup already?"

"Third."

"You're not going to sleep," he warned.

"That's the idea."

"Still having problems?"

"Not exactly. The little girl's face has been replaced by another."

"Sara…"

"What did you tell him…about me?"

"The truth."

She chuckled.

"What's so funny?"

"I can hear you now. She's an asset to the lab…a great criminalist."

He frowned.

Sara chuckled again. "I'm right!"

"I'm hanging up now," he announced. "He's coming by tomorrow."

Sara scrambled off of the stool. "Why?"

"We're working on a case."

"Oh."

"And I assigned it to you," he said as he grinned, hanging up.

"Grissom!"

She ignored Grissom as they sat there with Craig Matthews.

"I think we can take the case to trial. It will be imperative that someone explain the blood splatter theory…."

Sara interrupted. "It's not a theory. It's a scientific fact."

He smiled at her. "Then I know you'll do great explaining it to the grand jury."

Sara glanced toward Grissom.

'It's your ball. Run with it," smiled Grissom.

She made a mental note to slap him later.

Grissom grabbed some files and headed toward the door.

Sara followed.

"Sara, could I have a word with you?" asked Matthews.

She looked nervous.

"I've seen you a few times in court…and I had to confess I only came to the lab the other day in hopes of running into you," he said.

"I was in the field. I'm there a lot…my job."

_Shut up, Sara._

_You are over talking…_

"I was wondering if we could have dinner this evening," he asked. "We could talk some more…about…the case."

"I would have to check with…Grissom…my…boss…I think we've covered everything."

"I just want to make sure I have this blood splatter…evidence down."

"Sure. I mean I'll check."

She stepped out of the conference room.

Grissom was standing in the hall, listening to Hodges' rambling.

Sara waited until Hodges disappeared.

"He wants to discuss blood splatter…over dinner," she whispered.

"Okay."

"Blood splatter…Grissom…over dinner," she emphasized.

"Go."

"I'm going to get you," she seethed.

Grissom ignored the threat as she turned, smiling to Matthews and followed him down the hall.

He tried to concentrate on the puzzle before him as he sat there in the break room.

She would be returning soon.

It was not often they got a dinner during business hours, at least not the kind Sara was having.

His eyes darted up the moment he heard her voice.

It sounded pleasant as she talked with one of the lab technicians.

He expected her to stop in but she walked right past his door, causing him to scramble around the desk and run after her.

"Sara!"

She turned.

"How did the…blood splatter…discussion…go?"

"We were supposed to talk about that?" she teased as she continued on her way.

He looked frustrated as he stepped into his doorway but then hung his head out to catch another glance of her.

He thought he heard a slight humming as she disappeared around the corner.

Hours later, he broke down and called her.

"I have a presentation on blood splatter that you could use," he began.

"Good."

Silence.

"Does he understand?"

"Yes, I think we will be fine."

"You will?" he asked, stopping in midstride at her answer.

"I'm sure of it. I think it's going to work out."

_Is she talking about the case or them as a couple?_

Grissom opened his mouth and then shut it.

His brain tried to decipher her words but knowing how inept he was at times, he chose to be more direct.

"Are we talking about the case?" he finally asked.

"Blood splatter. He understands. The grand jury will indict."

He grumbled under his breath.

"He's boring," she breathed.

"Boring is safe."

"Hodges is boring but I have no intentions of going out with him," she huffed and he grinned.

"Is he marriage material?"

"Very much wants to settle down, get married, have children, he's ambitious…and handsy."

Grissom spewed his coffee. "Handsy? What's that supposed to mean?"

"Likes to hold hands…touch…very hands on."

"Oh."

"Griss?"

"You really have that presentation already…on blood splatter."

"Yes, of course."

"Good. Matthews would probably prefer you than me."

"Why? It sounded like he liked you. I thought you said…he was handsy?"

"Which is why he got slapped. Night."

She hung up, rolling over with a wide smirk on her face.

Note from author:

Notice how they're relying on one another, spending time together....


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter Twenty One:**

Sara handled the case just as he knew she would.

Of course, Grissom pressed upon her the importance of carrying the ball the last few yards.

She threatened to do something with his.

He sat in the courtroom and marveled at how she guided the jury to come to an indictment.

She passed Matthews, smiling in his direction as he thanked her but he stood clear of her.

Grissom chuckled to himself.

They celebrated over breakfast at his place.

She was surprised by the invite but she accepted.

"You did good today," he said as he winked at her while making pancakes.

"I was just following your presentation," she replied.

"Handsy huh?" he teased.

She laughed and he joined in.

There was a reprieve of sorts while they worked doubles after doubles, giving no time for searching for a life afterwards.

She swiped her forehead and was surprised when a bottle of water was thrust at her.

She took it, grateful, intending to turn and thank Brass but was surprised to see it was a detective.

"You looked like you needed it," the young detective reasoned.

"Thanks," she took it, not even looking in Grissom's direction. He was there somewhere in the house, trying to finish up in order to avoid a triple.

"You're…Catherine?" he asked.

Sara frowned. "Sara."

"Sorry, I asked the officer over there and he said it was Catherine or Sara. Fifty-fifty shot…good thing I don't gamble," he smiled.

She returned the smile.

He introduced himself as John Reynolds.

Grissom stepped into the living room and saw Sara near the walkway talking with the detective. Her voice was light and she seemed engrossed in the conversation.

His head bent back to his work but shot up when her laughter floated inside.

He was drawn to the window as he watched _his_ Sara continue to work even though the young man remained by her side.

He was a stranger to Grissom but Brass had spoken about him.

He seemed harmless which was why he could not seem to focus on his task as he tried to eavesdrop on the conversation.

"I'm new in town," he finally got around. "I don't know too many people. I don't like to eat alone…do you?"

Sara's head bobbed up. "I don't mind eating alone."

"Oh."

He looked deflated.

She felt sorry for the man.

He was rather nice and his looks were too.

"But it is nicer with someone else," she added.

Relief washed over him. "Mind if I ask you to dinner some time?"

"That would be nice."

He started to walk away but stopped suddenly. "Sometimes, I have to cancel…because of work."

"Me too."

He smiled at her and winked.

She smiled inwardly.

She was so used to dodging men of the opposite sex and had forgotten how splendid it felt to make one's day.

She was sure the detective was proud of his accomplishment.

Any other day she would have shot him down, sent him scurrying away, with no desire to risk her heart on anyone but Grissom.

She glanced toward the house, not catching sight of him as he leaned back into the shadows.

_Have a date…_

_A date of my choice…_

_Probably the grim reaper…_

She turned around as second thoughts assaulted her and she wondered if she had made a huge mistake.

She was surprised when Grissom turned into the diner.

"Brass needs to meet with me. I thought you wouldn't mind getting something to eat."

"I could eat."

She froze when Brass mentioned Reynolds.

"I understand you met John Reynolds," eyed Brass.

"Yes, I did," she answered.

"Nice guy. Good worker. No marriages. Clean record," reported Brass.

Sara's toast stopped in midair.

"You're telling me this because?"

"He's single. The women in the precinct have been gawking for weeks but he asked about one person…you," reported Brass as he sipped on his coffee.

His eyes glanced at Grissom but he seemed engrossed in eating his food.

"I take it you checked him out?" she asked.

"The minute he asked about you."

She smiled. "Clean record huh?"

"So…you want me to talk with him. I didn't even give him your name but I could…see if he wants to…"

Sara stopped Brass. "No thanks."

Sara felt a slight nudge under the table.

She responded with a kick.

Grissom scowled.

She knew it was him the moment the phone rang.

"It better be a body," she warned as she rolled over in the bed.

"Did I wake you?" he asked as he sat in a pair sweats on the couch.

"Possibly," she lied.

"Why didn't you take Jim up on his offer?" he asked.

"No need. Reynolds asked me already…besides I prefer to date someone without the lab's knowledge."

"Why?"

"No twenty questions…especially from Catherine."

"So…you're having dinner with him?" he asked.

She didn't answer but shifted the phone.

"Recite something…to me," she begged.

He quoted Shakespeare, closing his eyes, pretending she was there with him on the couch.

When he was done, he continued with a few more sonnets and then hung up, knowing she slept.

He wasn't sure when the "dinner" would occur.

He hadn't asked and she had not told him so he pretended as though he had forgotten about it.

That is, until she strolled past his office door, wearing the low cut blouse and the black slacks.

Heads turned as she made her way to the back door.

"Hey Sar!"

She turned and smiled when Nick whistled.

"That's harassment," she grinned.

"That will get you a lot more than harassment," smiled Nick. "Good choice…on the outfit."

He waited for a phone call but when she didn't, he buried his pride and called her.

Her phone rang twice and then she answered.

"Sidle"

A male voice could be heard in the background.

Grissom suddenly lost any coherent thoughts.

"Grissom?"

"I'm in a bad area," he lied.

"Me too."

"Oh."

"Did you need something?" she asked.

"No."

If she had called him back he would not have answered.

He tossed his phone on the other side of the empty bed, in the empty room, in the empty house and suddenly he could not stay there any longer.

He grabbed his things and headed to the lab.

He handed out assignments that night, not making any eye contact with her but grabbed his notebook and fled to his office once the case updates were completed.

Sara's pen tapped on the table.

Nick had not taken his eyes off her.

"I'm not telling you," she gritted as she stood to leave.

"Tell him what?" asked Greg.

"No details. Just tell me if he's a decent guy," remarked Nick.

"Yeah, he is," she admitted as she took to her own desk.

Hours later she tapped on his door.

Grissom glanced up. "Finished your report?"

"Done."

He reached for the report and she handed it to him.

"Got time to talk?" she asked.

"Not really," he said shifting in his seat, repositioning his glasses.

"Really or are you blowing me off?"

"Sara, I have a report that is due…I'm not blowing you off."

"Good cause I really need to talk with you," she pushed.

"Then we will," he promised.

He glanced down at the papers on his desk and knew that when he looked up, she would be gone.

He sighed.

_Here it is…_

_The moment of truth…_

_My Sara has found someone…_

She was not expecting him to come to her apartment.

He tapped and for a moment she thought it was someone for her neighbor so she didn't answer until the knock became more persistent.

"You came," she said defensively.

"You said you needed to talk."

"You usually call," she replied.

"You came to me…my office….so I came to you…your home." He glanced around fearfully. "Is that okay?"

"Yes."

He stood there in the middle of her apartment, unsure of the next move.

She handed him some papers.

"Court date…against Dover."

This was different.

He was expecting to hear about Reynolds.

Grissom sifted through the papers.

"Everything is going to be fine," he assured her.

"Really? Cause I have this urge for …a drink…and even that child's death didn't push me…I'm worried Grissom."

"Don't be. You go to court all the time and testify. It's no different. Just state the facts, remove yourself…"

"His attorney called the D.A. He wants to…offer a plea…"

"Plea?"

"Just…assault."

"It was sexual assault and you know it," griped Grissom. "Don't plea bargain."

"I wasn't going to…but…Dover may insinuate…that we…it could get back…to the department."

"Sara, don't take the plea bargain."

"I have no choice."

"Yes, you do."

"Look, he's lost his job and he's going to spend six months in jail."

"He'll be out in less time than that. Sara, he tried to rape you! You can't take the deal…not even to protect me."

"But…"

"No!"

"I'll think about it," she choked.

Grissom picked up her phone. "Call the D.A. now and tell them no deal."

She shook her head.

"If you don't I will."

"You can't…"

"Sara, please."

She made the call.

"I'll be there with you," he consoled.

"You think…you should? I mean…what if he…does insinuate…"

"I was there. I know what happened."

He wanted to ask about her dinner with Reynolds but he didn't, hoping she would say something.

They sat side by side on the couch later.

Neither spoke, enjoying the company, not wishing for it to end.

His hand slipped into hers.

"Everything is going to be fine," he promised.

She didn't like the idea of seeing Dover again.

Her head rested on his shoulder as his arm wrapped protectively around her.

Days later, she sat outside the courtroom, waiting for the case to be called.

Reynolds sat down beside her.

"Hey," he smiled.

"Hey," she responded nervously. "Are you here on a case?"

"Yes…yours."

Her face paled.

"Brass told me…I came by the lab to see you."

"Oh."

His hand slipped into hers.

Grissom rounded the corner with the D.A.

He halted when he saw Reynolds with Sara.

Dover passed in the hall with his attorney.

He glared in Sara's direction.

"Is that him?" asked Reynolds.

"Yes," whispered Sara.

Reynolds' arm encircled Sara while he continued to hold her hand.

Dover's attorney whispered to his client.

"Look, I think you should plead guilty…you have a better chance of serving less time."

"Serve time for what? I didn't touch her!"

Dover glared once more.

He knew he was going to jail but the thought that he had come so close and failed, made his anger boil over.

"As your brother in law…"

"Shove it. I'm not about to let you bring up the drugs. She wanted it as much as I did…she just changed her mind the moment she realized her boss would hear us. No doubt he was probably banging her…I saw the way he looked at her…like she belonged to him."

"We don't have much time. The D.A. just passed. I'm going to try to make a deal."

Dover scooted to the edge of the bench.

"Stay put and don't do anything stupid…you understand? You have to stay clean for court…no drugs."

"Right."

"John, you don't have to stay," implored Sara.

"I'm off today and I wanted to be with you….besides, it was supposed to be our second date."

"I may have to cancel."

"That's okay. I'm a patient man."

Sara fumed when the case got pushed further down the docket.

She had no intention of sitting across from Dover.

She stood abruptly.

Reynolds' hand remained locked with hers.

"I'm going to find out how much longer," she explained.

"Want me to find out?"

"No, that's not necessary."

Sara walked around the corner and was relieved to see Grissom with the D.A.

"The judge requested the change in the docket," advised the D.A.

"How much longer?" she asked.

"An hour or more."

Sara sighed in frustration.

She turned the corner and noticed that the bench was now empty.

Reynolds was gone.

She wasn't about to sit there in the hall with Dover just a few feet from her.

She was familiar with the building, spending countless hours in these halls waiting for her court appearances on cases.

She had never given it any further thought until she waited for her own case to be heard.

Sara was already immensely stressed at the fear of having Grissom involved.

She slipped into the bathroom, sitting down on a bench, trying to calm her nerves.

She flipped open her phone and dialed his number.

"Grissom."

"Let's… let him deal…get this over with," she whispered.

"It's not much longer. Where are you?"

"Ladies restroom…Dover was near the courtroom…I didn't want to…I'm going to sit here...Grissom?"

"It's going to be alright. Stay clear of Dover," he cautioned. "Sara, I can't…"

"I know…I understand…really."

"Where is Reynolds?"

"I told him to leave."

He would have to lecture her over that later.

It was all he could do to keep himself away from Sara.

He wanted so badly to sit beside her, feel her hand in his, while wrapping his arms around her in comfort.

He also wanted to beat the hell out of Dover.

One sneer and he knew he would not be responsible for his actions.

He had hurt _his _Sara.

_The same Sara I'm trying to give to someone else…_

He wanted to say so much to her in that moment but there were others nearby.

She closed the phone, turning it off as she stuck it back into her pocket.

She cursed when Dover stepped into the restroom.

"Get away from me," she warned.

"Look, this has gone far enough," he cursed. "I've already lost my job. I can't get a job anywhere because of you and worse I never touched you…at least not enough."

"Don't come near me!"

"Or what? You think you're boss is going to come and rescue you this time? It's just you and me, Sara."

"You come near me and I'll…"

"Scream for Grissom? He's too busy talking. He doesn't have the time of day for you. Still pining for your boss? Come on Sara. Drop the charges and I'll make sure you enjoy every second of it."

"You are never going to touch me again."

"I should have banged you while I had the chance."

Dover took a step toward her. "I guess if I'm going to jail I might as well enjoy what I'm going for."

Note from author:

Wow...what a place to stop....


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter Twenty-Two:**

Reynolds passed Grissom in the hall.

"Have you seen Sara?" asked Reynolds as he glanced around.

"Is there something wrong?" answered Grissom.

"Dover's attorney is talking to the D.A."

"He's probably trying to make a deal," reasoned Grissom.

"Dover is not in the hallway. I just don't want him near Sara."

"She's in the restroom…past the courtroom," replied Grissom, not missing the worried look on Reynolds' face.

"I'll wait for her," answered Reynolds.

Grissom dialed her phone but it rolled over to voicemail.

Dover grabbed Sara's arm but her other hand immediately tried to fight him off.

He shoved her forcefully against the wall, knocking the breath out of her.

"Play nice Sara," sneered Dover. "This won't take long this time."

He reared back to hit Sara but was instantly shoved away forcing him to break his hold on Sara.

"You come near her again and your ass is going to the floor," warned Reynolds.

"Who the hell are you?" Dover sneered.

"Her boyfriend!" yelled Reynolds.

"She doesn't waste time, jumping from one pair of pants to the next."

Dover hit the floor as Reynolds sent him down with a punch.

Reynolds called security.

Dover took the opportunity to lunge toward Sara. "What's he got that I don't?"

His hand clawed at Sara, scraping her wrist as she jerked away.

He went down again with a thud as Reynolds belted him once more.

Reynolds grabbed Sara pulling her away from Dover as he continued to scream expletives at her.

Security descended into the bathroom along with Grissom and the D.A.

"My client would like to plead guilty," stated Dover's attorney.

"The hell I do!" yelled Dover.

"Shut up unless you want to get the maximum amount of time after a stunt like this," his attorney griped. "Say another word and you can get another attorney. I don't care if I'm married to your sister."

Dover quieted.

Reynolds pulled Sara out of the bathroom and further down the hall. "Let me see your wrist."

"It's just some scratches," she grieved.

Grissom had followed needing to see for himself that she was unharmed.

He wanted to go to her but knew he needed to keep his distance.

Reynolds pulled out a handkerchief wrapping it around the scrapes. "Let's get this cleaned up."

Sara glanced toward Grissom and the D.A. who had stepped out into the hallway.

"We can handle this, Sara," assured the D.A. "He's going to plead out…it won't be necessary for you to testify."

Sara looked at Grissom.

"Go with him," urged Grissom.

Sara fell into step beside Reynolds. "I'll take you home."

She did not realize she had fallen asleep until she rolled over and felt him beside her.

She scrambled to a sitting position.

"I'm sorry," soothed Reynolds. "I wasn't sure whether I should leave while you slept or wait until you woke."

"I didn't mean to fall asleep," she gasped as she looked at the clock.

It had been the most sleep she had gotten in weeks.

Her brain felt like mush as she tried to remember the last moment just before exhaustion took over.

She clearly remembered the couch and the way it felt as she slid on top of him, his arms folding safely around her as his lips covered hers.

It had been nothing like Nick.

John's kiss had been tantalizing and scary.

It had been the first time she had ever considered moving forward, letting go, giving up, and accepting the unhappy ending to her dream with Grissom.

She had felt raw from the encounter with Dover, needing Grissom, hoping a glimpse of him would calm, soothe her but it had been Reynolds whose arms had enveloped her, making her feel safe.

She didn't fault Grissom but it did not help that because of their positions he could not do what she needed him to do and worse, he never would.

She'd stepped out of the court house and into her apartment.

Reynolds had never left her side, tending to her needs, careful of her inner scars and displaying a gentleness that rendered her guard defenseless against him.

His hands had stroked her hair, bringing a hiccup or two when memories of another time and another place brought images of those two and half weeks.

She remembered sifting her hands through John's hair as she kissed him with eyes and mind closed, hiding what she did not think her heart was ready to accept.

John Reynolds was a good man.

"I'm glad you finally slept. You were exhausted. You needed the rest."

He glanced at his watch. "I've got to get to work."

"Me too."

He leaned over, cupping her face with his hands as he planted a kiss on her forehead, letting his lips glide down to hers and then lingered, waited and entered her deeply, bringing forth more memories of the earlier hours.

It wasn't the first time he had kissed her like this.

The need for more human contact was powerful.

She clung to him, not wishing to break the contact.

Her hand snaked out and pulled him back as he started to retreat.

Her lips covered his and then he was kissing her once more, pulling her taunt against his body, leaving her quite breathless.

It was a powerful and frightening kiss.

It felt warm and delicious.

The moment his lips left hers, guilt came crashing down, seeing brown eyes, not blue.

"I'll call you," he caressed.

She nodded.

He was everything she ever dreamed in a man and he was definitely husband material.

She swallowed hard at the implications.

Grissom scowled when she stepped into the lab.

"You should have taken a night off," he insisted.

"I'm good," she said, digging her hands down into her pockets.

His eyes took note of the bandage on her wrist.

Her eyes followed his.

"Just scratches," she lamented.

"No field work," he dictated but softened his voice letting his concern slip through.

A slight smile etched across her face but it faded.

There was something different about her.

He didn't know what to think of her silence during assignments.

She clearly avoided eye contact.

This was also a different kind of silence.

He knew the incident with Dover had rattled her.

He'd driven to her place in hopes of sitting with her, holding her hand; caressing the marks that bastard had managed to put on her again.

He drove away, spying a familiar vehicle and knowing that someone had taken his place.

Grissom's eyes darted to the door each time he heard footsteps thinking she would come by during shift but she didn't.

"Night," she called as she left for the day.

"Sara!"

She ventured back.

"Got a moment?" he asked.

She stepped closer into the doorway.

"How are you?"

She didn't know how to describe how she felt.

Words flitted through her brain but none of them seemed adequate.

"Fine."

"We haven't talked…much," he implored.

She didn't know how to talk with him now.

"Let's talk," he offered.

"I've got to go," she gulped.

"Do you need me to come by?" he asked.

She did but then there was the matter of John.

She knew he was still at work but she wasn't ready for Grissom to come over so soon after John had slept over.

She swallowed.

_Do I look guilty?_

_I feel guilty…_

She finally shook her head, hoping he would let it drop, let her flee and hide away until she was able to deal with these emotions.

"I'm glad Reynolds took you home yesterday," he said softly.

"Are you?" She thought to tell him, lay everything out in simple words that even he, Gilbert Grissom, could comprehend but then saying the words would mean accepting what had happened.

"Yes, I am." He caught the sight of moisture, just lingering, ready to drop and wondered if his suspicions were correct.

He forced his voice to remain even. "He's a good man."

"He's not you," she choked.

His heart thudded out of sync.

Even he could understand that _his _Sara had found someone else even if she were reluctant to admit it.

"Friends…the best of friends," he vowed.

"Couldn't it be more?" she pleaded.

"The search is over, Sara."

"How do you know? I don't even know. I don't know how I feel."

"I think you know."

He stepped closer. "I've got this teaching opportunity…I'll be gone for awhile."

Her heart thudded loudly.

Sara stepped closer, no longer caring if anyone should spot them together.

"You're leaving?"

"Yes," he admitted.

She stood there frozen unable to speak.

They felt the end of something.

"You'll call?" she finally asked. "You'll call me…you won't…"

He nodded.

She knew he wouldn't.

"Why? Why are you doing this?" she begged.

"Sara…"

Greg approached and she slipped away, leaving him very much alone as he had asked but now he wasn't so sure.

He called her but she refused to answer.

He finally tapped on her door repeatedly until she answered.

"I didn't like…the way we said goodbye," he consoled.

"So it is goodbye," she spat.

"Sara…"

"Why are you here?"

"Because I leave…tomorrow."

Sara's eyes widened.

He stepped in closing the door.

"All this time you've known…but you never said anything. I bet Catherine knew."

"Actually, she didn't until this evening."

"At least you're consistent about being an ass to your friends….especially your…best friend."

"Sara…I was trying to find the right moment to tell you."

"I guess you did."

He stepped toward her but she retreated to the kitchen.

He watched as she slammed things around, not bothering to notice she was doing nothing except making a mess of her kitchen.

"Are you through?" he asked once she slammed the kettle down on the stove.

"Yeah…I'm done," she retorted.

"We need this…time…away from one another," he urged.

"You promised…" she gulped.

She could not think of being at the lab without him and yet he would be gone tomorrow.

He leaned on the counter, his hands mere inches from hers as she braced herself.

"If you need anything…"

She laughed in his face causing him to step back.

"Go, Grissom!"

She marched into the living room, opening the door.

He passed her but she quickly shut it, blocking it.

"If it's something I did…tell me…I won't do it again. I'll switch to swing…I'll…"

Grissom pulled her into his arms and held her.

"You've gotten a diversion…time to make it your life, honey."

He kissed her tenderly on the forehead and then rushed out.

She was grateful she remained busy in the field.

She had timed it perfectly…so she thought as she stepped into the locker room.

He would have already left and the last thing she felt she could do was watch him leave.

She opened her locker, putting away her things when he appeared.

"So you're leaving," she stated, proud of the way her voice sounded strong.

There was so much he had wanted to say to her, hoping she would come by his office but when she did not return from the field, he knew she was stalling.

He did as well until he was bound to miss his flight, giving up the need to tell her the things he felt she needed to hear.

He said the one thing he had to say. "I'll miss you."

Note from author:

I had to put the sabbatical in there...it just seemed to fit with the story line...so the questions is...does she get "a life" and move on or....

Take care,

Penny


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter Twenty-Three:**

Her life became a blur as Grissom disappeared and Keppler appeared.

It was confusion and chaos.

The others wanted to contact Grissom when they had discovered Keppler's deception.

As things unfolded Catherine kept them from notifying Grissom, emphasizing his need for time away from the lab.

For Sara, his departure had been solely for the purpose of getting away from her.

His departure had been particularly hard on her.

She was desperate not to drift back into her old habits.

She avoided drinks with the guys, dodging any offer and kept nothing in the apartment.

Reynolds had become a constant in her life when she was able to snatch a piece of time from the lab.

There were too many doubles and bodies to consider moving in any direction in their relationship although Reynolds was persistent yet patient.

Grissom's absence had allowed Sara time to breathe, to think, to process and accept the way things were.

It had been very hard the first two and half weeks when she longed and waited for any word from him but there was nothing, no phone call, no letter, no indication that he had made a mistake.

His actions were clear.

He expected her to have a life when he returned and she didn't think he wanted to be a part of it.

She would not have gotten through those two and half weeks had it not been for John Reynolds who watched, hovered and cared for her while slowly bringing her closer to accepting what he offered.

John Reynolds was offering her a life with him, filled with hopes and dreams of things she never thought possible.

She still could not bring herself to divulge her past to John.

He did not prod but he knew there were things she kept to herself.

He was an open book, telling her of his family, his college years and life on the police force.

He was respected by many in her circle and yet few knew of their relationship.

They had been seen a few times but it was mostly police officers and none from the lab.

Nick knew.

He guessed by the way she seemed to handle the business of Keppler better than them.

She confided in Reynolds in matters of the lab and how it affected her.

She needed the outlet, no longer having Grissom.

It was this sharing that he grew closer to her, ignoring the resistance to speak about her childhood or her time in San Francisco.

It seemed enough for him and Sara was glad.

The semester was ending soon and therefore Grissom's return was approaching.

Hodges had it marked on the calendar.

She had tried not to anticipate it but instead tried to brace herself for the emotions his return would invoke in her.

Sometimes she cried when she thought that she would not feel anything.

Other times she cried when she thought that she would still feel the same hopeless feelings.

She was trying to love John Reynolds.

He was closely becoming a hard habit to break but she could not bring herself to love him.

Her love for Grissom was very much intact and for that, she felt the old tension seep through.

She did not know how she would keep her feelings separate from the two.

John Reynolds sat in the lab parking lot, waiting for shift to end.

Just as she exited the building, he stepped out of his vehicle.

She smiled, slipping on her sunglasses to block the sun's glare.

"I have to work," he explained.

"I get to sleep."

He pulled her into his arms.

"This is the third time this week. I'm sorry," he sighed.

"It's fine. I understand. You've been great…about the doubles," she admitted.

He grinned. "I left something for you…it's on the counter…next to the coffee."

"Some bagels, I hope."

"I'll bring some tomorrow," he chided.

"Be safe," she yawned.

"Sleep," he ordered as he leaned in for a kiss

She responded knowing there was no one around to see, to watch, to ask questions she was not ready to answer.

Sara Sidle had somehow gotten a life but hidden it, fearful of losing it, and not sure how Grissom would affect her when he returned.

He returned one evening as she walked into the lab after dumpster diving with Greg, thankful to be heading to the showers.

The odor was awful and she rushed, avoiding everyone.

He was suddenly there, calling her name and she stiffened but forced a smile begging to escape because of the odor rather than the truth of how her heart fluttered or her skin tingled by the sound of his voice.

_You traitor…_

She was surprised that he wanted to see her, had asked right there in the hallway without a sideways glance to ensure they were alone.

She tried to flee but Grissom followed, stepping toward her, wanting so much to linger there in conversation, to hear her voice, see her face and find out if she had missed him as much as he had missed her.

He had.

He had gone away, intending to give her time to settle her affairs, to let go of the past and begin a future with someone but the moment he stood there in front of the college lecture podium his eyes caught sight of a young girl.

She wore her hair in a pony tail.

He excused himself, grabbing a glass of water and stepped into the bathroom, splashing water on his face to hide the tears as the reality of his actions set in.

He told himself he had done the right thing.

Over the years they had argued, fought, thrown hurtful words that wounded even the strongest of wills and yet those two and half weeks made those five years of heart ache worth it.

In a moment of weakness he had comprised a letter but never sent it, placing it away in the book she had given him for Christmas one year.

He had given her the same gift, thinking a book was a safe gift for a boss to give to his employee.

He forced himself to continue the path he had set in motion but his thoughts never drifted very far from her.

He had left her but she had remained with him.

He felt her everywhere until he was rushing to finish up the course and run back to her…_his _Sara.

Their meeting in the hallway was brief but it was long enough to stir the same sweet ache.

She threw back her head, giving way to tears that did nothing to convince her heart that things would be different this time.

He was back and so was her dilemma.

_You can't sleep with one but love another…_

She locked herself away in her apartment, hoping to calm the tension that was slowly building.

The phone was off with the lights dimmed as she sipped on the cup of tea.

Despite Grissom's urgency to see her, she doubted he would come to her apartment and hoped that not being able to reach her by phone would delay their meeting a little longer.

She noticed an envelope sitting on the counter.

It was addressed to her.

She took a deep breath.

John Reynolds had proven to be good for her.

She hated the fact that she could not bring herself to love him.

She told herself that over time her feelings would change especially since Grissom was not there to confuse her.

The sex and companionship was good.

It had been easier with Grissom gone.

Now, he was back.

She cursed inwardly at the thought of being near him again.

_Friends…just friends…_

She tore through the envelope pulling out the small piece of paper inside.

_Sara,_

_I've tried for weeks to find the right moment to ask you. I'd decided that tonight would be the night but once again my schedule has prevented me. I could not bring myself to put this off any longer. I don't expect an answer immediately. Think about it…_

_Love,_

_John_

She read the letter a second time but did not understand.

_Think about what?_

Her hands grabbed the contents, intending to further investigate the mystery when something gold slipped out of the envelope and into the floor.

She picked up the engagement ring, twirling it around with her fingers.

There was a knock at the door and she answered, thinking it was Reynolds.

"Can I come in?" Grissom asked anxiously.

He saw the troubled look and glanced around. "Is something wrong?"

She turned quickly hiding the letter and the ring.

"You came back," she finally said.

"I said I would…you didn't believe me?"

"You said you would call…you didn't."

"I sent you…the butterfly cocoon."

"It's at the lab in a nice cool and dry place," she reported. "I thought you wanted me to preserve it for you until you returned…I did."

Both stood, not sure what to say.

He followed her to the kitchen, letting her prepare coffee.

She slid over the bagels she had picked up on the way home.

"You look good," he began.

"You let your beard grow," she murmured.

His hands flew to his face. "I thought it made me look more like a professor…of sorts."

Her hand reached out, intending to touch the beard but quickly snatched her hand away.

She felt the ring tucked inside her jean pocket.

"How…are…things?" he managed to get out just as his beeper went off.

The next twenty-four hours became a blur as Keppler was killed and the lab followed his clues to the evidence he had left behind.

The lab was under fire by the undersheriff.

Catherine was vocal in her defense of Keppler, threatening the others, insisting that he had been a good man.

Nick and Warrick were full of chatter along with Greg but Sara kept her distance.

After a double he wanted nothing more than to sleep and yet he had not truly talked with her.

He'd tried to say something at the end of shift but she had gotten a phone call and walked out with Greg.

He'd spent the past hour trying to unwind while trying to get used to his own home and yet he couldn't.

She picked up the phone, anticipating it would be Reynolds.

She had showered and dressed, expecting him to come by so they could discuss the ring.

"Hey."

"Mind if we talk?" he asked.

"Of course not," she said glancing at her watch.

"Mind if we do it in person?" he asked.

There was a silence and he continued. "I could come over..."

"No, I'll come there…if that's okay," she breathed, not wanting Reynolds to arrive with Grissom there.

She stepped into the townhouse and smiled when she smelled the aroma of her favorite tea.

He handed her a cup.

He smiled at her and she could not resist returning it.

"You were quiet…about Keppler," he began.

"I didn't like the reverse forensics…it made the team choose sides…we were against he and Catherine."

"Catherine should have…"

"Catherine got to know him better…she trusted him. Now that we know what happened….I'm not the person to ask for judgment."

He nodded.

There were several moments of silence as they sipped the tea.

It was good just to be together.

She took a good look at him.

"You should get some sleep," she said as she placed the cup into the sink.

"I'm still adjusting," he admitted.

"I should go," she said as she headed to the door.

"Do you have to…go?" he asked.

"Why?"

"I need you."

Silence floated between them.

"Need me?"

He held up a razor.

"I need you…to cut…my beard."

She wanted to throttle him.

"Cut your beard? Are you serious?" she asked, thinking of a few things she could do with a razor.

"Sara, you did it when we were…together," he recalled.

"That's because you left hair in the sink," she huffed.

"I'm tired of the beard. I want to get rid of it."

She liked the beard…when it was kept neat.

"Would you?"

He smiled at her, with blue eyes that twinkled and she could not refuse.

He closed his eyes, feeling her fingers as they caressed his face.

She loved the smell of shaving cream.

She had enjoyed shaving him while they were in quarantine.

It had been a very intimate experience between them.

She took the razor and stood there in front of him.

"You trust me?" she gulped.

"Intimately," he whispered.

He closed his eyes, cherishing the feel of her hands once more on his skin.

The beard slowly disappeared.

Afterwards, they sat on the couch drinking another cup of tea.

She glanced at him. "I can't believe you called me…here…for that."

"Not…just that. I missed you."

Note from author:

AAAHHHHH- fluff, how did the stuff get in there...I see some lead way here....


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter Twenty Four:**

The butterflies returned along with the tension.

She set the cup down.

"I should go," she replied.

He walked her to the door, not wanting her to leave.

"Thank you," he offered.

"Get some rest," she replied as she reached for the door.

"Sara…"

She turned and looked at him.

"It's good… to be back," he said.

"See you at work," she answered as she left.

He didn't know what to make of her.

_Didn't she miss me?_

_Isn't she glad I'm back?_

She looked tired but she seemed good.

She'd done well in her cases the past several weeks.

He was proud of her.

_I should have told her…_

_But then she would have known I had been checking up on her…_

Between handling the fallout with Keppler, he had managed to sift through the previous cases, taking noting of the cases handled by Keppler as well as Sara.

The undersheriff had managed to monopolize his time, yelling at Ecklie as well as Grissom for the fallout with Keppler's death.

He'd seen very little of her.

By the end of the shift, he was worn to a frazzle, needing to trudge home but his head had other ideas.

He slumped down in his chair, pushing the reports on his desk into a nice stack.

If he had left an hour ago he wouldn't have given it a thought but now as the throbbing intensified he knew he should wait it out at the lab.

Catherine bobbed in.

"You still here?" she asked. "Ecklie was looking for you earlier."

"Just leaving," he decided as he grabbed his jacket.

She grinned. "If you hurry out the back, I think you'll miss him."

He tried taking a detour.

He grabbed some water from the fridge in the break room as he continued on his way.

He focused on a direct path to his vehicle and cursed each time he was delayed by a question or a comment.

By the time he made it to his vehicle, he felt nauseated.

Sara sat in her car and watched as he fell into his car, sitting there for a moment before pulling away.

He swiped at his forehead as he passed, not even noticing her.

He grumbled when his phone went off, opting not to answer it.

It continued until he grabbed it barking out harshly, "Grissom."

"You okay?" she asked.

"Sara?"

"You passed me in the parking lot," she explained.

"I'm sorry. I've been trying to leave for over an hour," he sighed.

"You're sick," she declared.

"Headache," he admitted.

"Migraine?" she asked.

"It's just a headache," he said trying to focus on his driving. It didn't help that it had begun to rain.

"It's a migraine," she breathed. "You shouldn't be driving."

Neither spoke but each remained on the line.

"I'm almost home," he countered.

"Griss, you just blew through a light," she warned.

"I didn't see…"

"Spots?" she questioned.

"Just some blurred vision. I'm almost there….how did you know…"

"I'm following you," she admitted. "Just hang up. If you pull over…"

"Sara, I'll make it…just follow me."

She hung up, watching every turn he made.

She was relieved when they pulled into the townhouse.

She had called John, making excuses, promising to be home soon.

They still had not talked about the ring.

He had not pushed but she knew he wanted to know the reason for her hesitation or worse, her refusal.

To be honest, she had not given it much thought.

Her arms slipped around his waist, without thought, as she helped him inside.

He slumped down on the bed and was thankful when he felt a towel softly drying him off.

She knelt in front of him as she untied his shoes, removing them.

"I could do that," he lied.

"I can too…let's get out of these clothes," she ordered softly.

She found his pajamas, ignoring his protests as she helped him to dress for bed.

"Have you taken your medication?" she asked.

He shook his head. "In the medicine cabinet."

She returned with glass in hand.

"Can I get you anything else?"

"An explanation," he managed to get out.

"Explanation?"

"What…happened…with the detective?"

"John Reynolds?"

"Yes…no one seems to know…about him."

"We haven't told anyone," she blurted.

"Why not?"

"Why? Like I said before no one asks questions or interferes with my personal…life. I'd rather keep my…life private…no one knows we've been seeing one another…except you."

_She's still seeing him…_

He didn't know how to react to the news.

If he were honest, he would admit he had hoped things did not work out.

His phone went off as it lay beside the bed.

Sara picked it up, glancing at the caller I.D.

"It's Ecklie," she announced.

He grimaced as he reached for the phone but she refused to give it to him.

"Sara, I have to take it," he gritted.

"You're sick. Ecklie can wait."

His hand fumbled for it once more, taking it from her hand.

"Grissom." He cursed softly. "Conrad, I just got home. I'll send Catherine….no…I can't come in. He'll have to settle for Catherine."

He glanced at the clock. "I'll be in…in four hours. He'll have to accept that…I'm incapacitated at the moment…no I've not been drinking or I wouldn't have answered the phone. Migraine…Yes, I know. I've taken something…I'll be back in the lab in a few hours."

He tossed the phone onto the bedside table.

"Four hours?" she huffed. "Griss…you are not going to be able…"

"Read to me," he pleaded as he pointed to a book sitting next to the bed.

She grabbed it, sitting next to him in the bed.

He rolled over, grimacing from the pain.

"Wouldn't it be better if I shut off the lights and…"

"Read to me, Sara. I want to hear your voice," he murmured. "I've missed the sound of your voice."

His plea was quite sincere.

She opened the book and softly began to read.

Within minutes he was fast asleep.

She smiled, recognizing the book she'd given him for Christmas one year.

She set the clock, cursing inwardly, knowing he would still be sick but knew he would keep his word.

She started to put the book away when she noticed an envelope addressed to her.

She glanced over at his sleeping form.

Silently she read the letter.

_I don't know why I find it so difficult to express my feelings _

_to you. Even though we're far apart, I can see you as vividly as if you were _

_here with me. I said I'll miss you, and I do._

_As Shakespeare more ably wrote my sentiment in Sonnet 47, _

_"Thyself away art present still with me; _

_For thou not farther than my thoughts canst move, _

_and I am still with them ... _

_Or, if they sleep, thy picture in my sight, _

_Awakes my heart to heart's and eye's delight."_

She gulped.

It was this side of Grissom that kept her heart.

She softly stroked his hair before placing a soft kiss on his forehead.

His hand reached out pulling her into his arms.

He still slept as she tried to pry herself from his grasp.

His lips kissed her on the temple as he wrapped his body around hers.

She gave up, settling into place, fearful he would wake, knowing he needed to sleep.

She could not seem to sleep.

She knew John would be wondering where she was.

Just before it was time for Grissom to wake, she gently eased herself from his bed.

She shut the door just as the alarm went off.

He banged on it, grumbling as he rolled.

His eyes shot open.

He could have sworn she had stayed with him.

His hand reached out and noticed the bed was warm.

He scrambled out of bed but she had already left.

Sara poured herself a cup of juice as she contemplated remaining up.

Shift would be starting in a few hours but she wondered if Grissom would need assistance.

She stepped into the bedroom and found it occupied.

She tried to be quiet as she slipped out of her shoes and clothes, intending to shower.

His hand reached out and grabbed hers.

"Coming to bed finally?" he asked.

"Uhm yeah," she managed to get out.

He pulled her body up close to his.

He smiled when he noticed she only wore the robe.

His lips dipped down to kiss her.

"I was worried," he whispered.

"Last minute…work," she replied.

He stiffened a bit but relaxed when her hand caressed his cheek.

"Sara…you've not mentioned the ring. Sometimes…not making a decision…is a decision."

"It's that…we've…been so busy and there hasn't been time to…think…really think. I like the way things are," she added.

"I want more," he pressed. "I need more. I need to come home with you here or…"

"A piece of paper is not going to guarantee that I'm here. We have our work schedules and…"

"I want to know that you're committed…to me…to us…understand?"

"I am. You're here…in my bed…in my apartment. You have a key," she reasoned.

He smiled. "Does it frighten you that much?"

She looked confused.

"Marriage. Sara, I know…that you've avoided telling me about your childhood…I think I understand."

"You do?"

"You probably come from a broken family…"

The word broken bounced around in Sara's head.

_More like shattered…_

He pulled her closer to him. "Your parents were divorced…you're not closer to either one…at least I never see any evidence that you have any contact with them."

He waited for a reply.

"Am I right?" he asked.

She nodded, not wishing to spend the remainder of her time off, discussing the perils of the Sidle family.

"See? Was that hard for you to tell me?" he asked as he kissed her.

She let him believe the lie as she closed her eyes giving way to the sensations he was causing by his foreplay.

He rolled over on top of her, gently nudging her legs apart. She shifted, giving him full access.

"Sara?"

She opened her eyes, forcing herself to look into John's eyes.

"Marry me," he asked.

"John…"

"Marry me," he insisted.

She'd never gotten a proposal before.

Besides Grissom, she'd never let anyone get this close to her.

He was there in her private home, in her bed, between her sheets and she felt trapped.

"Marry me, honey," he pleaded.

She closed her eyes, letting the tears slip down.

"It's okay, Sara," he soothed. "If you need more time, take it…just don't…shut me out."

For a moment, she let herself feel nothing but the pleasure he was giving her.

Minutes later, when she was alone in the shower, she gasped for air, grasping at the sides of the wall as she tried to breathe through the pain.

_You can't have it both ways, Sara…_

_He's going to find out…_

_He's a good man…_

_You have to fix this…_

_If I marry him then…_

She was correct by not going to sleep.

She grabbed her phone on the first ring.

Later, she grabbed her things, slipping out without waking John.

Note from author:

Sara is digging a hole...a deep hole with the shovel she got from Grissom...LOL I finally read ahead forgetting what I had written and GSR is fast approaching...of course Sara is in control...next time....


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter Twenty Five:**

Grissom didn't know what to make of her scribbled note that was left on his desk.

He removed her from the schedule, pulling out his phone.

He frowned when it rolled over to voice mail.

He became worried when she continued to not answer.

He pulled the note from his desk.

_Grissom,_

_I need a few days off. I know this is last minute. I'm sorry. I'll call when I can._

_Sara._

It was cryptic…too cryptic.

By the second day he had slept little, not helping with his temper as he tried to go through the motions at work while worrying about her.

Her phone remained off.

On the third day, he was rattled.

He tried to focus on Nick as he rambled about hair follicles and fibers.

"Grissom…you okay?" Nick asked.

"Have you talked with Sara?" he broken down and asked.

Nick shook his head. "Is she alright? I mean you said she was taking some time off…I just thought…you know...she's been trying to get a life…and was living it."

"She just doesn't…normally keep her phone off," he replied, trying not to sound desperate.

"Then I'm sure that's the reason…she got a life and is enjoying it," offered Nick.

Brass tapped on his door.

Nick stepped out as Brass closed the door.

"Got a minute?" he asked.

"Have a seat," offered Grissom.

"I heard Sara took off a few days," began Brass.

Grissom leaned forward. "It's not unusual."

"I'm here…in private on behalf of a certain detective…who's worried about her."

"John Reynolds?"

"Did Sara tell you about him?" asked Brass.

"I know she's been seeing him," replied Grissom.

"He's been…upset…he's not been able to reach her by phone for the past several days."

"Her phone is turned off," answered Grissom.

"Look, Reynolds seems like a good guy…very likable…so he's going a little stir crazy right now. He wanted me to find out if anyone knows where she went."

"He doesn't know?" asked Grissom feeling uneasy.

"Sara left him a note…said she had to leave for awhile…she'd be back in a few days and well, this being the third day….he's worried."

"She left a note on my desk also…said much the same thing," admitted Grissom.

"Any idea why she left?" asked Brass.

Grissom shook his head.

"I asked Reynolds," said Brass in a low voice.

"And?" asked Grissom quickly.

"He said he asked…Sara…to marry him several days ago…she's not given him an answer."

"Did they fight?" asked Grissom angrily.

"Reynolds admitted she was a bit upset when he pushed…for an answer."

Grissom cursed inwardly.

"If you hear from her…have Sara put the poor guy out of his misery and call him."

Grissom nodded.

The moment Brass stepped out of his office, he flew into action.

He hurried down the hall, tossing reports in Catherine's direction.

"Take Warrick," he instructed. "I've got something to do."

"Emergency?" she asked.

He did not reply but returned to his office, locking the door.

Grissom swiped his hands through his hair.

He'd spent the last hour tracing her credit card information.

_She went to San Francisco…_

_Why didn't she tell me?_

_She could answer my call…_

His mood did not improve as the shift finally came to a close.

He did not know how to react to the news Brass had given him.

She had not mentioned the marriage proposal.

_Maybe she's going to say yes…._

_What if she does?_

_Two and half weeks…_

He had no one to blame but himself.

He had been the persistent one.

_How can I ever hope of having a relationship when I'm still trying to be a good friend?_

He tried to remind himself that he was not good enough for her.

She needed someone young, someone who could give her a family.

He had seen her with the Johnson children, how she was a natural at motherhood.

If she remained with him, there would be no family, and he just couldn't do that to her.

_I didn't give her a choice..._

He went through the motions as he reviewed a few reports, not bothering that shift was now over and the others had left.

He had nothing waiting for him at home.

He took his jacket, throwing it into his vehicle as he drove slowly home.

He pulled into his garage, grabbing his briefcase as he got out.

He rounded the corner and stopped suddenly.

There, on his steps was Sara.

"I know I'm late…getting back," she stuttered.

Her eyes drifted down to his briefcase.

"You didn't call," he miffed.

Her hands were entwined with one another, looking very much tangled within themselves.

She had no reply but sat there.

"How long have you…been waiting?" he asked.

"A few hours," she admitted.

"You could have called," he miffed once more.

"I know…I didn't know that I was coming here…but I couldn't go…to my apartment," she explained.

Her eyes shot to his. "Is this alright?" she asked fearfully.

"Yes," he soothed. "Come inside."

He threw his things in a chair as he headed to the kitchen.

She lingered in the living room.

"Come…in here," he coaxed. "I could fix something," he offered.

"I went to…"

"San Francisco," he finished.

"How did you know?"

"I got concerned so I traced the last transactions on your credit card…hoping to find out."

She looked shocked.

"John has been worried also. He had Jim to come to the lab…ask if anyone had spoken with you."

She nodded folding her arms about herself.

"Are you going to say yes?" he asked.

"Yes?"

"John mentioned the marriage proposal to Brass…he said you were upset…about giving him an answer. We thought you left to…think."

She swallowed.

He handed her a cup of tea.

He watched her closely as she took the cup.

She appeared to have had little rest and seemed upset.

"Are you going to say yes?" he asked again.

"That's not the reason…why…my mom died," she whispered.

Her hands trembled as she placed the cup on the counter.

"I turned off the phone…I didn't want to talk…with anyone," she explained.

Grissom took a step toward her but she stepped back.

"If I called you then I had to call…him."

"I'm sorry, honey. We've both been worried."

"I tried to get back…I'll make it up…to the others," she said as she took another step back.

"I'm sure John would have offered to go with you."

She shook her head feverishly. "He doesn't know…about her…I couldn't have him go with me…to the prison."

"You've never told him…about your past?"

"It's my…past. No one knows…except you," she admitted.

His heart ached for her.

"Sara…you have to trust…John. He could have…helped."

"I trust you," she lamented. "Just you."

"You could have told me. I would have gone with you," he admitted.

He would have.

"You're my boss…and I'm your employee."

"You're my best friend," he countered.

He stepped toward her but once more she stepped away, heading toward the door.

"Stay," he pressed softly.

She glanced at the door.

"I left my car…up the street," she admitted. "I waited and you didn't come home and so I…left it…walked back…I didn't want to risk…anyone seeing me…here."

Her eyes widened. "I need to call…" she didn't finish, letting the tears fall.

"I'll call Jim…tell him that you'll be coming home tomorrow…he'll get in touch with John for you. Stay, Sara."

"I've been here too long," she worried.

"Stay…here with me," he urged, worried about her.

She swiped her hand across her cheeks, angry at the tears. "I'm so tired, Grissom."

He extended his hand.

Her hesitation made him quickly pull her into his arms before she could object.

"You're safe with me," he whispered.

His hands guided her to his bedroom.

He opened a drawer pulling out an old t-shirt.

His lips kissed her gently on the forehead as his fingers took over unfastening the buttons on her blouse.

"I can do this," she murmured.

"I can help…let me take care of you," he pleaded.

Her body curled into his as they lay there.

She closed her eyes letting her body sleep.

Later, his voice was soft as he spoke on the phone to Brass.

"Let John know…she'll be home tomorrow. No…I'm not coming in tonight…personal business."

She drifted in and out, feeling his hand stroke her hair.

She had yearned for human contact during the last few days.

It had been hard dealing with the death of her mother, knowing that her last remaining relative was now gone.

She'd really been on her own ever since her mother killed her father but there was a tie there whether Sara and her mother wanted to accept it or not.

Now, Sara was truly alone.

The only person who felt like family was Grissom and her biggest fear was losing him once again.

Hours later she scrambled to an upward position.

"How long…have I been asleep?" she asked.

"Five hours," he answered. "How much sleep have you gotten in the last three days?"

"I'm good…really," she lied as she slipped out of the bed.

His eyes could not help but follow those long slender legs as they disappeared into the bathroom.

She returned fully dressed.

"I should go," she insisted as she began looking for her shoes.

"They're over there," he pointed. "How about something to eat? You need to eat…so do I."

"I need to leave," she breathed.

"Why?"

"I didn't mean to stay this long."

"Do you have plans?" he asked.

"No but…I should go."

"We could have something to eat…talk."

She licked her lips struggling with her decision.

_He's doing this because of your mother's death…_

_You're risking your friendship being so needy…_

"I'm going to go," she said as she grabbed her shoes and went to the other room, hoping the distance between them would help her to escape before she did something stupid.

He scrambled from the bed this time, following after her.

"Sara…we haven't talked."

"I know. Look, I appreciate this but I've stayed long enough," she gulped. "I need to go…home."

"I had Jim to call him…he expects you back tomorrow."

"Oh."

"I could order a pizza…or could fix something," he offered.

"You need to sleep…you have work tonight…so do I," she reasoned as she finished tying her shoes.

"I took off tonight…you're not expected back until tomorrow," he emphasized.

She rubbed her temple.

It had been hours since she'd eaten anything.

"Pizza?" he asked.

"You don't have to do this," she pressed.

"I want to spend time with my friend," he urged.

She wavered.

His smile eased her worries. "Pizza would be good…vegetarian of course."

"On your half…my half…sausage and pepperoni."

They sat on the couch finishing off the pizza.

He felt comfortable with her by his side.

Her head bobbed a few times.

"Sara, just sleep," he chastised.

"We can talk…and then I need to go," she yawned.

He shifted on the couch bringing her closer to him, letting her head lay on his shoulder.

"I've missed talking with you," he admitted.

"Me too."

"Sara…I am sorry about your mother," he began.

"She…only had a few more months…and then she would have been up for parole," she explained.

"I would have come with you," he insisted.

Her hand slipped into his.

"You should tell…John."

Her hand slipped out, pulling up the throw.

"There's no need. She's….dead now."

"Couples share things...trust each other," he explained.

He glanced at her finger, absent of the engagement ring and wondered if the vacant finger meant she had made up her mind.

"I wanted to call you…but I didn't want to lie…to him...about where I was."

"Why can't you tell him?"

"Why? People look at you different the moment they find out that you came from a domestic violence home…even worse…foster care. I see the looks we give families…like that. My mother killed my father and has spent the last twenty years in prison."

"You think he wouldn't understand?"

"It doesn't matter. There's no reason to…"

"Sara, whether you want to admit it or not, it affects you…every day."

She flew off the couch. "No it doesn't!"

It didn't come out the way he wanted.

"Your past helps you to understand the victims better…you show more empathy…you're more driven to solve the cases because you know what it's like to need closure."

"Closure?"

"You lost your family in a violent moment. You need closure."

"I'll never…get closure," she whispered.

"You push yourself harder than any of the others because you seek to give those what you've never gotten."

"I never thought about…talking with her. I was too angry at her for…letting it get to that point. She let him…beat her over and over and yet that night…that night she didn't and then it was over and he was dead, she was in the patrol car and I was being carted off to a group home."

She swiped at her cheeks. "I swear Grissom I wished she had never fought back. She could have just left…with me."

"Maybe in that moment, she didn't feel like there was a choice."

Her heart still ached from the past.

Having him so close did not help her desire to touch him intimately.

"If you need…some more time…take it…don't think you have to come in tomorrow…"

"I can do my job."

"I just meant…if you needed time to sort through all of this…with him."

"Grissom, I don't need to tell John anything."

"Why did you tell me?"

"Because…it's different."

"How?"

She huffed. He knew he was making her angry.

"Sara…you can't expect to have…"

"I told you because you feel like home…more than he does!"

Note from author:

That last line...


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter Twenty Six:**

She tugged at his heart.

He extended his hand and she took it returning beside him.

The next hour was spent in silence.

His hand slipped into hers as they sat there together.

Her head lulled to the side and he gently nudged her.

She followed him to the bedroom.

He molded his body to hers, whispering for her to sleep.

Hours later he woke to the feel of her hand gliding across his chest.

Her lips pressed kisses on his chest as she inched herself closer.

He rolled, pressing her into the mattress as his lips descended on hers.

It was a painful, blissful kiss stirring up raw emotions that neither could hold back.

She purposely shifted so that her body was directly under him even though he tried to move away.

He fought the urge to take her, struggling to his side of the bed.

She cursed in frustration.

"Grissom…"

"Sara…friends," he managed to get out.

She attempted to touch him once more but he caught her hand. "I thought…being away for awhile…would help."

She reached for him once more.

"Sara...no."

She shot out of the bed and was gone faster than he could manage to get dressed.

He waited an hour before calling her, letting her calm down but cursed when the phone continued to roll over to voice mail.

Sara stepped into her apartment, throwing off her shoes as she unpacked the small suitcase.

It did not appear that John had been there.

She showered, trying to wash away the mixed feelings she had.

She wanted to throttle Grissom and yet the fear engulfed her that she had truly messed up this time, ending their friendship.

_You just had to try…_

_Just had to push…_

She could not seem to stop the tears as they cascaded down her cheeks.

She was startled when the door opened and John stepped inside.

He was just as startled to see her.

"I thought…I was told…you wouldn't be home…until tomorrow," he stuttered.

"I got back early," she admitted.

He stood there watching her eyes drift to the overnight bag he was holding.

"When I didn't hear from you…I thought it would be better if I came over here before you got back…to get my things."

"Things?"

She knew she was a mess as she stood there with wet hair, wet cheeks and red brimmed eyes.

"Do you have any idea how crazy with worry I've been these past few days?" he yelled. "God, Sara. I considered putting my job at risk and using department equipment to try to locate you!"

Her brain felt muddled.

She was used to having melt downs in private.

"I was going to try to make it easier on you…just pack up some things I've left here…I'll be gone in a minute."

"Things?" she asked once again, trying to comprehend his actions.

"I thought…I meant more…than this," he spat. "I was so desperate to know that you were alright I got Jim Brass to go to your boss to see if he had any idea where you might be!"

"Your things?" she asked for the third time.

"Look," he breathed trying to calm himself. "I'll come back…just let me know when it will be a good time to get my things…or just pack them and set them outside the door."

_No Grissom…_

_No John…_

"My mother died," she blurted.

He whirled around shocked. "When?"

"I went to San Francisco. My mother died."

He dropped the overnight bag and started toward her but stopped. "I'm so sorry."

"Your…things?"

He raked his hand through his hair.

_Grissom does that when he's confused…angry…_

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"My mom died. I had to go," she said, trying to explain but not sure if she was making any sense.

"If you had told me…I would have come."

"I'm sorry," she gasped.

"It's okay."

He stood there, not sure whether he should leave or not.

"Sara…tell me…what you want? I can't stand to see you cry….please don't honey."

"I'm not very good at relationships," she sniffled.

"I didn't mean to yell….I am so sorry…I didn't know. I was just worried…I missed you," he admitted. "All this time I've been…afraid…that I might…lose you."

She bolted for him, crushing her body to his.

He kissed her feverishly. "Tell me what to do…to make it better?" he begged.

She grabbed at his shirt, trying to pull it off but his hands caught hers.

"What do you want, Sara?"

"I want…I need this," she cried.

He worried about her as she continued to sob into his shirt.

Gently he coaxed her to bed, pulling up the covers.

"Get some sleep," he whispered as he leaned down and kissed her on the lips.

He started to get up but her hand refused to let go of his.

He slipped off his shirt and trousers, slipping in beside her.

He hovered over her, planting kisses from her lips to her navel.

Her body tingled from the sensation.

The rejection from Grissom had hurt.

She nudged him, sliding directly underneath him but he pulled back.

"Sara…I don't think we should…we need to talk…before…" he groaned when she reached, guiding him inside her.

He stiffened, forcing himself not to react.

"John…please."

"Marry me, Sara. Be my wife….let me hold you, take care of you, protect you…for the rest of my life."

She closed her eyes, fighting the frustration.

"Just say yes," he whispered, "And I swear I'll never leave you."

_Not like Grissom…_

She nodded.

"Yes?" he clarified.

"Yes," she moaned as he sunk into her.

She rode out the sensations, not wanting to return to reality but needing the feel of some release.

She felt numb as he rolled off her but she grabbed him, forcing him to return.

The sex kept her mind off her mother's death, the need for Grissom and the fear that he would not even want to be friends anymore.

He held her close to his body as she lay there.

"That has to be a record," he sighed. His hand caressed her cheek. "Better?"

She nodded.

He felt a coolness about her.

"Sara, look at me," he ordered.

She turned.

"Why didn't you tell me about your mother?" he asked.

"I couldn't…there wasn't enough time," she lied.

"Is there something about…your past…that…you don't want me to know?"

"My mother is dead…so is my father…there is no one…now."

"Is that's what been bothering you?" he asked.

She couldn't seem to follow him at the moment, feeling rather guilty for wanting Grissom.

"I have a large family…you don't…you're not used to…having a lot of people…in your life."

She nodded despite the fact that he was wrong.

"I love my family very much but…you'll be my family, Sara. You'll be the most important person…in my life….just us."

She nodded once more.

It seemed to make him happy.

She could do this thing called relationship.

He kissed her tenderly on the lips as she tried to pull him back on top of her.

"Sleep…I mean it," he soothed.

Exhaustion took over and she slept until he was nudging her awake.

"Sorry, honey but if you're going into work tonight, you need to get up," he said, kissing her shoulder blade.

She moaned when she stretched.

"Maybe you should…take off…sleep a day," he whispered as his hands caressed her back side.

"I have to go in," she replied.

She rolled over and he took advantage of it, pinning her down with his body.

She tensed.

"Tell me you didn't throw away the ring," he pleaded.

"The ring?"

"Engagement ring," he corrected.

She pointed to a jewelry box on the dresser and he fumbled inside, finding the ring.

He slipped it on her finger and then kissed her.

"Don't take it off," he announced.

"But…"

"We'll need to make some plans…invitations…"

She turned green.

"Honey, you don't look good."

"Invitations?"

"Wedding," he explained.

She looked shell shocked.

"You don't want a wedding?" he asked.

She shook her head violently.

"I could…make arrangements…for a chapel…notify everyone…"

"Everyone?" she asked.

"You don't want…people at your wedding?"

She shook her head again.

He frowned. "A chapel…just us."

She nodded.

"Are you going to object to…pictures?"

She could see that he was disappointed.

"I have to send my parents something…if not an invitation…at least a photograph."

"We don't have to…"

He interrupted her with a kiss.

"You said yes…I can accept your conditions."

He kept his eyes on his assignment pad as she stepped into the conference room.

"Hey Sara! We heard you weren't back until tomorrow," smiled Nick.

She didn't say a word but opened her notebook.

Nick smiled at her and she returned it.

"Greg, you and Warrick need to finish up the Craig case."

"We've got a few leads we're going to investigate," offered Warrick.

"Keep me in the loop. The undersheriff is getting some heat from the media on that one."

They both nodded.

Grissom continued assigning a burglary to Nick and then a 419 to Catherine.

"Nick if you finish, give Catherine a hand."

"Sara, you're with me. We have a double homicide," he announced.

She looked surprised but quickly hid it.

"No fair. You guys get the good ones," whined Greg.

"Missed you too, Greg," purred Sara.

Once they were in the vehicle and on their way, he looked at her.

"I asked you not to come in," he stated.

"Why not?"

He gritted his teeth. "We need to talk…about what happened."

"Look, I crossed the line…it won't happen again," she vowed. "Next time…"

"Sara…"

He almost swerved when he noticed the ring on her finger.

_How can she say yes to him…._

_When she was in bed with me!_

His hands gripped the steering wheel.

"There won't be a next time," he barked.

Note from author:

Okay...no hate mail...it's coming...remember you're on a roller coaster...of sorts....here we go down....


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter Twenty Seven:**

They separated the moment he parked.

She shot out of the vehicle, grabbing her kit and hurried into the house.

She stopped abruptly.

She swallowed, forcing the contents of her stomach down as she side stepped the trail of blood.

Brass practically grabbed Grissom's arm, jerking him away from the officers standing on the front porch.

"You think it was wise to bring her…here on this case?" asked Brass.

"It's a double homicide," said Grissom. "That's all the info we got…what is it?"

They turned to the sound of someone vomiting.

A big burly man continued to heave as the officer stepped back.

"That's the neighbor," explained Brass. "He was walking his dog when the dog got loose, came over to the vic's house. The door was partially opened so the dog ran inside. The man called for the dog and it returned. That's when he noticed the blood on the dog's feet. He went inside but…ran out and called police."

Grissom glanced around. "Where's Sara?"

"Inside the house," said Brass.

Grissom headed toward the door.

Brass walked briskly beside him, giving him details that he wished he had before he had made assignments.

The double homicide had been a last minute addition, and he had not bothered to check but hoped it would be a case he could justify sending himself and Sara.

"The first victim is a Nancy Bowers, age 34. She was found in the bathroom…her daughter was located…in her bedroom."

Grissom started inside as David rushed out.

"I hate shifts like this," he griped as he hurried to get out of the house.

Grissom's eyes darted around, trying to locate Sara.

He followed the trail of blood that led him to the bathroom. The woman's nude body lay face down. By the amount of blood loss, there was very little left in the body.

Grissom's eyes darted back, trying to imagine how the blood had managed to get from the front door to the bathroom.

Brass leaned in closer. "A.P.B. was put out for the father. Cops have been here several times for domestic violence."

Grissom cursed inwardly. He stepped out of the bathroom and found his way to the bedroom.

Blood splatter was on the wall as well as the bed.

"All of this…can't belong to her," Grissom said out loud.

He stepped over a bloodied towel and continued.

He found Sara standing over the body of a young girl.

Her body was riddled with cuts and bruises.

She was half clothed, giving an indication of molestation.

Sara's eyes met Grissom's directly.

"Pick one," she announced, her eyes telling him that this was going to be a long night.

He didn't want her in the house much less processing either body.

This was certainly one of those cases that he gave to someone other than Sara and yet here they were.

"I'll take her," said Sara as she began to process the girl.

He turned to go back to the bathroom but halted when he heard the snap of the camera.

Sara shot off several rounds before lowering the camera.

"Some of the blood…is hers," she breathed.

She returned processing the body as he fled the room.

For the next four hours, they worked in separate rooms.

The bodies were finally removed and yet it was as if they remained.

Both worked silently, each working their way to the living room where they merged.

"It started here," she said pointing to the television. There is a pool of blood…then trickles….as it leads to the girl's bathroom and then her bedroom. There was semen found on the sheets…of the little girl's room as well as the mother's."

Sara took a gulp of air.

Grissom stepped closer.

"Let's take a break," he offered.

"I'm almost done…I'll head outside…take the perimeter," she stated as she continued.

He didn't push but let her continue thinking that perhaps the best thing to do would be to finish the case so they could leave.

Three hours later, they loaded the bagged evidence.

She refused to look in his direction but sipped on a bottle of water.

Once the evidence was logged in, she disappeared briefly but returned.

He had taken up residence in one of the layout rooms, retracing the blood patterns from the photo shots.

His head bobbed up when she passed.

An hour later he noticed she had completed the child's clothing and other contents found in the little girl's room.

Their beeper went off simultaneously.

They both glanced down.

_Autopsy results…_

He heard her footsteps as she followed.

He turned and halted. "I can get these."

"My case. I'll get my own," she countered.

His jaw twitched in frustration but he conceded.

Grissom stepped into the morgue followed by Sara.

She steeled herself from the sight of the young girl.

"It never seems to amaze me what monsters can do," muttered Doc.

"Your finding?" asked Grissom.

"Sandra Evans was severely beaten and then stabbed multiple times. There are defensive wounds on her hands and wrists. There are some skin tags under her fingernails. There were traces of Sarah's blood..."

"Sara?" Grissom spoke up.

"The little girl's name was Sarah…you didn't know?" asked Doc.

Sara shook her head.

Grissom looked agitated.

"Like I was saying, there were traces of Sarah's blood on her mother. It could have been transferred from the perp to the victim by using the same knife."

He coughed, clearing his throat. "There was also a mixture of the Mother's vaginal secretions inside the little girl's pelvic…"

Grissom's eyes shot to Sara.

Her face was pale as she stood there listening to Doc rattle off the abuse.

"The guy must have raped the little girl and then the mother or vice versa."

"It appears the little girl suffered sexual and physical abuse on an ongoing basis….perhaps even the mother."

As soon as Doc finished, Sara grabbed the report and shot out of the room.

"Sara!"

She halted.

Grissom leaned in close to her. "Are you okay…with this case?"

"I'm going to finish this," she warned.

His hand snaked out, grabbing her arm.

"You didn't answer me," he said in a low voice.

"What do you want me to say? You think I like seeing that…knowing what that child went through…and…" she stopped herself.

She knew if she were not careful he would yank her from the case and she wanted this case.

"I've got some evidence I need to get down to trace," she said as continued down the hall.

She stood outside the examination room as Brass led the husband inside.

The man sat down, cursing at the handcuffs.

"These are too tight," he yelled.

"Tell me when was the last time you saw your wife?" asked Brass.

"Yesterday. The bitch threw me out," he muttered.

"Did you kill her after she told you to leave?"

The man pulled up his shirt. "You see that? She bit me! She likes…it rough…I don't."

"Did you ever hit her?"

"You damn right when I had to. She would go crazy…yelling at me and Sarah. Most of the time we just got out of the way but then other times…yeah I hit her…to get her off me…and Sarah."

"You're saying your wife abused you…and your daughter?"

"Sarah…is not mine…I married Sandra five years ago…worse thing I ever did."

"We're going to need a D.N.A. sample from you."

"Why?"

"Tell me Mr. Evans did you have sex with Sarah…and your wife?"

"It wasn't like…that," he muttered. "Sarah was everything that she wasn't. She never hurt anyone or anything but Sandra was always beating on her. She was jealous of me and Sarah…just because I…looked after her."

"Oh, you looked after her alright. You were having sex with a twelve year old."

"Sandra forced us!"

"You can't be serious? You expect us to believe that Sandra forced you to have sex with her daughter?"

"She got off on that…wanted me to whip and then…I never liked to lay a hand on Sarah. Sandra would grab the girl by the hair of the head and beat her if she didn't do what she said."

"And what did she want her to do?"

"Give me oral sex…then she made Sarah watch me…beat and…rape her mother. The woman was nuts."

"Why didn't you leave?"

"She wouldn't let me take Sarah with me. She threatened…to accuse me…of…hurting Sarah."

"And weren't you?"

"I tried to protect Sarah. We were planning on leaving. I told Sarah to pack a bag and we would leave this weekend but that bitch found out about it."

"What happened?"

"I came home and found Sarah hunched over in front of the television. Sandra had hit her…her nose was bleeding everywhere. I told Sarah to go to her room. She ran to the bathroom. I slammed Sandra's face into the wall…I enjoyed watching her nose bleed all over the floor as I dragged her to the bedroom."

"She wanted it rough so I gave it to her…I split her lip, banged her and then went to check on Sarah. She was so scared. "

"So you banged the daughter and then…"

"It wasn't like that. I stopped the nose bleed, cleaned her up and….I made love to her."

Brass looked shocked at the man.

"How did they end up dead?"

"I told Sarah I was going to put our suitcases in the car and I would be back inside to get her."

He gulped through tears. "That bitch killed her. I walked in just as she slit her throat. Sarah was screaming for help and I couldn't do anything to save her. I grabbed the knife from her and drug her out of the room. I stabbed her twice in the hallway and kept stabbing until she collapsed in the bathroom. I kept stabbing her until the bitch stopped breathing."

He sat there bawling as Brass glanced at the window.

"Do you believe him?" asked Grissom to Sara.

"He confessed to murder. Does it matter?" she replied coolly.

Brass stepped out of the room. "I thought I had heard everything," he sighed. "He says there are…old movies…to prove…what's been going on."

Sara glanced back at Grissom. "I guess we have some movies to watch."

"Sara, we've pulled a double. I can finish this…take off," he ordered.

"I'm going to see this through," she tossed back.

They sat in one of the interviewing rooms.

He watched her as they viewed the videos that had been recovered from the home.

His stomach revolted as they watched the mother lash out at the young girl, forcing her to have sex with the step father as well as herself.

Grissom shut off the video. "We've seen enough."

"Two monsters in one home…who would have guessed," she seethed.

"I'm sorry. If I had known…about this case…I would have…"

"Done what? Given it to Nick or Catherine or Greg?"

"Yes! I would have!"

"I worked the case…I did just as good as the others…"

"Sara…."

"Are we done here?" she asked.

He knew they were beyond exhaustion and at the moment he did not wish to fight.

"Go home," he urged.

She fled the lab, not halting until she entered the apartment, showered and stood there in front of the bottle of champagne she found in the fridge.

Her phone rang and she cursed when she saw that it was Grissom.

"Sidle."

"I…uhm…wanted to make sure you made it home."

"I did."

"Sara…"

"I want to go to bed. John is waiting for me," she lied.

He disconnected immediately, cursing at the images that crossed his mind.

She gulped down a glass of champagne followed by another.

note from author:

I think we are a chapter or two from gsr.


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter Twenty Eight:**

"You didn't wake when I got in this morning," Reynolds said as he sat down on the bed.

"Double…more like a triple," she groaned as she tried to stretch.

"You must have been celebrating…I found the champagne bottle," he frowned.

"Sorry. We closed a tough case and there it was," she moaned as she held her head.

"Next time, wait for me. I got that to celebrate….together."

Her head felt like a sledge hammer inside of it.

"I need a shower," she gritted.

"I'll fix you something…"

Sara waved her hand in the air.

"I'll take it that was a no," he grinned.

Days passed with silence between them.

She stepped into the lab that evening, feeling a bit off.

She had just finished one shift and had counted on not being bothered with another double so soon.

"I'm sorry I had to call you," Grissom admitted as she stepped into his office.

"I was awake," she remarked as she took the assignment.

His head jerked toward her when he smelled menthol.

"Are you…"

"Cough drop…a little under the weather," she lied.

He felt uneasy about her.

They'd said little to one another.

He had no idea how she had managed to cope after the double homicide with the mother and daughter.

He had slept little, throwing himself into an experiment in order to get the vision of the little girl out of his head.

He was nearing a double himself but he insisted on helping.

The case was wrapped up in a few hours.

The tension seemed to ease as they got into work mode but now as they wrapped up things and headed back to the lab, she felt driven to tell him.

"We're…going…to a chapel…tomorrow night."

It was a direct hit and he gripped the steering wheel, not sure if he could pretend that this didn't hurt like hell.

"You're not on the schedule," was all that he could find to say.

"I know…which is the reason…we planned it…then. I submitted a request for two days leave. You haven't signed it."

Now, he knew why she brought it up.

He was behind on paperwork.

"I'll find it...get it sent to personnel," he assured her.

"Thanks."

She stepped out of the vehicle once they arrived at the lab.

She left for home while he tried to lick his wounds in the privacy of his office.

_How could she almost give herself to me and then say yes to him…_

_It's for the best…_ He told himself for the hundredth time but it did not make it feel any better.

_She's happy…_

_She's love him…_

_She does, doesn't she?_

He grabbed his jacket as he flew out of the office, calling her as he slid in behind the wheel.

"Sidle."

He was relieved she answered.

"Could we talk?" he asked.

Sara sat the drink on the counter.

"Grissom…"

"I'll see you at the townhouse in a few minutes," he said as he hung up and hoped she would come.

He paced the floor as he waited, glancing at his watch.

It had been well over two hours since he had called.

He flew to the door with the first tap.

He waited until she stepped inside.

"I can't approve your leave," he said.

"Why not?"

"Sara…"

"Look, Grissom. I have pulled more doubles than anyone else beside you this month and I'm only asking for two days."

"Sara…I know I told you to get a diversion."

"Yes, you did and…I did that."

"A diversion is one thing…getting married…do you think you should?"

She was completely shocked.

"What? I can't believe you!"

"You've never…said that you love him. Do you?"

"I have to go," she insisted as she pulled away from his grasp.

"You're my best friend…I don't want you to make a mistake," he urged, following her to the door.

"I know what I'm doing," she yelled.

"Do you?"

She started to open the door but his hand blocked her.

"Grissom, move!"

"Look me in the eye and tell me."

"You told me to get a diversion…a life…I got one!"

"Is it a life or a diversion, Sara?"

She looked confused.

He stepped closer. "He takes your mind off work…a diversion. He gives you…what makes you happy…that's a life, Sara. Don't confuse the two."

She closed her eyes to avoid his stare.

"Happiness is love, Sara. Do you love him?"

"You never made me happy…and yet…."

She didn't finish and she hoped that he wouldn't catch the slip.

"Were you happy during those two and a half weeks?"

A single tear slipped down her cheeks.

He gently swiped it away.

"A marriage based on…anything less…won't last."

"I'm getting married."

"So…you do love…him."

She jerked the door opened and rushed out.

Grissom closed the door, leaning against it.

He was in a bitter mood as he stalked through the lab.

For hours he tried to focus on his work but instead, he could not help but wonder if she were Mrs. John Reynolds yet.

As the hours passed his mood grew worse, causing the others to stay clear of him.

Warrick grabbed Catherine by the arm. "Hey, do you have any idea what is wrong with Grissom?"

"No idea. He warned me to stay out of his office," she chirped.

"Sara is off tonight or we would send her in there," whispered Nick.

"All I know is that we should just lay low…until it blows over," advised Catherine.

They moaned when Greg headed to his office.

Grissom threw a book across the office, slamming the file onto his desk as he slumped into his chair.

"What did the book do?" quivered Greg.

"Do you need something?" he barked.

"Brass called on the Cramer case. He said he notified Sara."

"Sara?"

"It's her case," replied Greg.

"Did she respond?" he asked anxiously.

"Brass said he was there…with her. I know she was supposed to have the next few days off…do you want me to cover for her?"

"No! She can take off another day," he replied quickly, need to rid himself of Greg so he could call Brass.

"Really…I don't mind. I could…"

Grissom glared at him and he ran.

His fingers trembled as he dialed Jim's number.

"Brass."

"Did Sara show?" he asked.

"She's been here for almost an hour."

"Does she…need any help?" he asked.

"She'll be done in a couple of hours," answered Brass.

He could not bring himself to ask whether she sported a wedding band with the engagement ring.

She was there working rather than on a honeymoon.

He raked his hand through his hair as he gathered a file and forced himself to focus on his work.

A few hours later, he spied her, logging in the evidence as she headed to the locker room.

He fidgeted, not knowing how to approach her.

By the time he got up the nerve, she had already left.

It didn't surprise him when she did not come into work the next night.

She had already received permission to be off.

_Maybe they put the wedding off until today…_

_Maybe they got married later…_

_Maybe…_

He rubbed his temple with his thumbs as he leaned back in his chair.

"Headache?" asked Catherine as she stood at the entrance of his office.

"Do you need something?" asked Grissom.

"Gil, is everything alright?"

"Yes, it is."

"Are you going to hand out assignments?" she asked.

He glanced at his watch and grabbed his notebook.

"Look, I know we've had quite a few cases lately but…Sara deserved the time off. I don't know why you insisted that she…."

"Sara?"

"She was supposed to be off. I just passed her…in a foul mood…she was heading to the conference room."

"Sara is here?"

"I know she is late by your standards but….are you okay?"

He scrambled around his desk, trying to slow himself down, but he practically ran to the conference room.

She sat wedged between Nick and Greg.

Her arms were folded so he was not able to view her hand.

He sat down, distributing the assignments.

He purposely did not assign her anything but announced, "Sara, you're in the lab."

He waited until the others left, calling her to remain behind.

He knew she was angry but he didn't care.

He had to know.

"You had the next few days off," he began.

"My plans changed," she replied.

He leaned forward. "Brass told me he had to call you in…I had no idea until after he…"

"It was my case. I handled it."

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"For what?" she asked angrily.

"I'm sorry…he had to call you in," he retorted.

"Right," she muttered.

He looked frustrated.

"Have I done something?" he asked.

Her hand flew into the air. "Don't….go there!" she seethed.

"I think you need to take off…now," he ordered.

"Don't play…boss with me," she spat.

"What has gotten into you?"

"You!"

Note from author:

Yeah....I think I said 40 chapters but I'm not sure there is that many...maybe 37 chapters...


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter Twenty Nine:**

He glared at her. "Go home," he ordered.

"Fine!" she shot back as she stalked out.

He gripped the table, trying to calm himself.

Grissom stormed through the lab, making his rounds, while the others stayed clear.

He purposely went to her desk to make sure she had left.

He grabbed his messages from Judy, returning to his office slamming the door.

Brass tapped on his door.

"What?" Grissom grumbled.

"Foul moods must be going around," he teased as he sat down.

Grissom's eyes shot back to his report.

"I came to…check on Sara," he said.

"Why?" asked Grissom.

"I ran into a detective. He was…pretty upset," whispered Brass. "Reynolds called off the wedding."

Grissom was shocked. "**He **called off the wedding?"

"It seems Sara admitted that she…didn't love him."

Grissom removed his glasses.

"I just came to see how she was…figured she would be working," explained Brass.

"I sent her home."

"Oh. The kid's had a rough month."

Grissom nodded.

Brass stepped toward the door. "In case you were wondering, Reynolds broke it off completely."

He stepped into the townhouse, throwing his things onto the couch.

He'd tried to call her but there was no answer.

He had even driven by her apartment but she was not there.

He spent the next several hours, worried about her as he paced the floor.

He dialed her number again and his pulse quickened when she answered.

"Sidle."

"Can I see you?" he asked.

"You saw me today," she countered.

"Sara…please."

"You'll see me at work," she lamented. "No, wait, I'm off for the next two shifts."

"I'd like…to take you to dinner."

She hung up on him.

He called her back.

She let it ring.

He called again.

"What?" she griped.

"Can I come over?"

"No."

"Would you…come here?" he begged.

"No."

"Sara…" he could hear the sound of ice dropping into a glass followed by a liquid pouring.

"Leave me alone, Grissom."

The phone clicked.

She cursed when there was a tap on her door an hour later.

She opened it to find Grissom.

"Can I come in?" he asked.

"Go away, Grissom."

"Sara….talk…with me."

"Why?"

"Because I'm worried about you!"

"No need. No need to worry anymore."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked as he noticed the bottle wedged in the couch cushions.

Her eyes followed his. "Plain sight," she gritted. "Brass was right. It is easier…leaving it there."

"How long…have you been drinking again?" he asked.

"It's none of your concern any longer."

"Yes, it is! Sara, you can't come to work, popping cough drops, after binging…"

"I don't binge. I drink."

"I can't allow you to work…"

She handed him her resignation.

"I officially quit."

He was speechless.

She turned on her heals, grabbed the bottle and headed for the kitchen.

She dropped a few ice cubes into a glass and filled the glass with scotch.

It burned but it warmed her and she took another gulp.

"I'm not accepting this," he glared as he tossed it on the counter.

"Too bad," she retorted as she lifted her glass but he jerked it from her hand.

"I'm not going to just sit here and watch you…"

"Grissom, leave," she warned.

He pulled up a chair and sat down.

She cursed out loud, retrieving another glass from the cabinet and prepared another drink.

He reached for the bottle but she was too quick.

"Go home, Grissom," she mourned as she took a gulp.

"Sara…please."

She emptied the glass and poured another.

"I know…that John Reynolds called off the wedding."

"I didn't love him…minor technicality…he couldn't get passed it. Good thing I never met the in-laws," she quipped.

Her hand shook as she fixed another drink.

"You're legally drunk…by my calculations," he declared.

"I'm here in my apartment…no chance of getting arrested."

He cringed when she finished off another glass.

"Why?" he whispered.

"It dulls the pain."

"When…when did you…"

"The double homicide…I came home and John had purchased a bottle of champagne to celebrate. I started early….never try to get drunk by drinking champagne."

"I'm sorry, honey. I never would have put you on that case if I had known."

"Shut up, Grissom."

He smiled slightly. "You know you're the only person who gets away with telling me to do that."

"And yet you never listen," she cursed. "Of course I never really get away with anything," she whispered, feeling the melancholy engulf her.

She tried to get off the stool and staggered. "Now, I'm legally drunk."

She held onto the counter as she tried to pour another drink but this time he grabbed the bottle.

"Not fair, Grissom. I was just going to have one more drink…then I can sleep."

Grissom walked to the kitchen sink and poured out the bottle.

Her phone rang.

"That's him," she announced as she glanced at the caller I.D.

"Him?"

"He's coming to get his things....again."

She laughed. "This should be good. He's coming here and…you're here…the two men…who left me."

Grissom stepped toward her. "I didn't leave you!"

"You're right…you just gave me away."

It hurt.

He started to speak but she waved him to silence.

"It doesn't matter….you never let me have you."

"Yes, I did…for two and…"

"Do you think I could just…. and then just turn it off and be friends?"

"I thought that once you had me…you would grow tired of me…move on…like I knew you would if I…tried to have a relationship with you."

"You bastard! I offered you everything…and you were too scared to take a chance!"

She teetered on her feet and he caught her, steadying her but she shrugged his hands from her.

She fumbled around, using the counter for support as she searched for another bottle.

"Ah, there it is," she smiled.

She lifted it but slid down into the floor.

She opened the lid and took a drink, not bothering with a glass.

Grissom struggled to take it from her hands.

"Sara, stop!" he yelled.

She burst into tears.

He lifted her, despite the groan from his knees.

With a toss, she landed over his shoulder like a pack.

He grabbed her jacket and purse as he shut the apartment door.

"Grissom, put me down," she spat.

"Shut up, Sara!"

She did.

By the time he had reached his vehicle, she had passed out.

She stirred when he tried to unlock his door while holding her upright.

"Where are we?" she asked.

"Home," he whispered.

She leaned against the door frame.

He practically dragged her inside despite her protest.

He plopped her on the couch as he busied himself in the kitchen.

He returned shortly with a cup. "Drink this," he ordered.

"It smells!" she whined.

"Drink it or I'll force it down your…"

She turned the cup up but stopped midway but he tilted it further forcing her to drink all of the contents.

"That was awful!"

"It's supposed to be awful," he cursed.

She sprang from the couch as she tried to get to the bathroom, but he was already carrying her there.

"I'm going to be…."

She heaved.

She knelt on the floor as she heaved and heaved.

Grissom stood in the doorway.

She slumped into the floor and he gathered her in his lap.

"The floor is cold," she shivered.

"Sorry, honey…but I think you're going to be here for awhile."

She heaved until she could not catch her breath.

Her ribs ached.

He frowned when the heaving ended.

Finally, when she did not move toward the commode, he turned on the shower.

She gasped when the cold water hit her full blast.

"I'm still clothed!" she spat.

"I felt sorry for you," he shot back. "It would have been colder without clothes."

She tried to break free but his grip was firm.

"Let me go, Grissom!"

"Never," he whispered into her ear as he kissed her on the forehead.

Her fists beat him. "You did…you gave me away….like some used…toy you didn't want…got tired of me…after two and half weeks!"

"I'm sorry," he begged.

She sobbed into his chest. "I hate you!"

"I know," he admitted.

Her sobs were eventually replaced with bone racking chills.

He turned off the shower and grabbed several towels.

He tried to help but she pushed him away. "I can do this."

"I'll be out here…you can use the robe," he offered as he stepped out to remove his wet clothing.

Minutes later she stepped into the bedroom. "I'm leaving."

"In that?" he questioned.

She glanced down at the robe and pulled it tight against her body.

Her head was pounding while her stomach did somersaults.

"I think you should sit down…you don't look well."

"What did you give me?" she yelled.

"Something to rid your system of the alcohol," he shot back.

Her teeth chattered as she stood there, very much ill and tired and angry.

"I'll turn on the fireplace," he soothed.

"Just get my clothes dry…then I'll leave. Why did you bring me here?"

"To do this!" he yelled. "Do you have any idea how much you were drinking?"

"I could have managed. I would have passed out on the couch."

"You could barely walk," he gritted. "What the hell do you think you're doing…drinking like that?"

She closed her eyes, to stave off the nausea.

She felt the room spin as she stumbled back.

His hands were instantly there to support her.

"Let's get you…"

"I need to lie down…I don't feel well," she admitted.

He yanked back the covers on the bed as he pulled them over her.

His fingers checked her pulse.

Her eyes shot open. "I'm here," he soothed. His hand gently stroked her hair.

Her body shook.

He slipped into the covers, wrapping his body around her.

She could not seem to stop shaking as he rubbed her skin over and over.

Slowly, the tremors ended and he held her still body.

"Sara?"

"Recite….Shakespeare," she pleaded.

His voice was like gentle strokes, easing and lulling her to sleep.

She jerked awake an hour later, scrambling to a sitting position as she gasped.

"It's just a dream," he cautioned.

She shook her head.

"You're safe," he assured her.

She shook her head once more. "You're still here," she breathed.

Note from author:

Sorry for the late posting but it's been a Monday on a Tuesday... wow...I just noticed Sara's last words to Grissom....painful. Guess who is in control now...


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter Thirty:**

Grissom stood in the doorway of the bedroom with coffee cup in hand.

She still slept, curled into a tight ball as he contemplated what he should do.

_Maybe she really did love him…_

_Maybe she didn't realize it until he called off their relationship…_

It had been a relationship.

The evidence was there for him to observe.

He slept at her apartment.

It was also probable that they had been doing more than just sleeping together.

_Be honest, Grissom…_

_Of course they were having sex…_

_He asked for her hand in marriage…_

_They were in bed together…_

_He was touching her, loving her…_

He stepped away from the bedroom.

She had done what he had asked.

It didn't hurt any less.

He took note of the time and decided to call in sick.

He felt sick.

It might not be physical but he was most definitely sick of the mess he had made in her life.

The aroma of coffee made her stir.

She moved slowly, still feeling the effects of the heaving.

Gingerly, she sat up.

"How do you feel?" he asked.

"Coffee…smells good," she replied.

She managed a piece of toast with the coffee.

She looked rather retched as she sat there with head in hand.

"Head hurts?" he asked.

She nodded.

"If my clothes…are dry…I'd like to leave," she said softly.

"They're still wet," he said as he sipped on the coffee.

"Do you have a dryer?" she inquired.

"Yes…but you're clothes…are going to remain wet…until we can talk."

"Griss…my head hurts. I just…want to leave…go back to my apartment."

"You can rest here," he offered as he filled her coffee cup.

She cringed from the effort it took to speak.

"I was serious about…the resignation."

"I don't want you to resign."

"Why not?"

"I need you."

She pushed away from the table.

"I don't need this. I need to force myself to get another job."

He followed after her as she made her way back to the bathroom in search of her clothes.

"Clothes," she demanded.

"Sara, sit down…before you fall down…and we'll talk."

"Fine!" she yelled and then groaned from the throbbing in her head.

"I have something…for a hangover," he offered.

"No…thanks," she declined, remembering the foul tasting concoction he had given her.

She sat down on the couch.

"Talk."

He could not keep from asking.

He needed to know where her feelings stood.

"Are you sure…it's over…with John?"

She scrambled from the couch, ignoring the sledgehammer that pounded away in her head as she went in search of her clothes again.

She spotted her shoes and went after them.

"You're going to leave, wearing a robe and sneakers?" he asked.

She bent over to get the shoes and found herself on the floor.

She woke on the couch with a wash cloth on her head.

"Take these," he urged.

She took the medication with some water.

"Don't move. Just lay there…you probably won't remember much of this tomorrow."

"I always remember…everything…what the bartender wore, the conversations, the looks…alcohol just dulls my thoughts…numbs…so I can sleep."

"Really?" He was amazed that her brain would recall with such clarity when it was inhibited with alcohol."

"You told me to shut up," she gasped.

"I did not."

"You did…when you…"

She closed her eyes.

"Painful?"

She nodded.

"Sorry, honey."

"No, you're not."

He huffed in frustration and she actually grinned.

"I'm not accepting your resignation."

"I can't work…for you anymore."

"Why not?"

She glared at him despite the pain it cost her. "We can't be friends."

"Why not?" he asked again.

"Grissom…."

"Are you…sure…about John?" he asked.

She tried to get up but he kept her pinned on the couch.

"Do you want me with John?"

He did not reply.

The moment he stepped away, she sprang from the couch.

"Sara…."

Her hand went into the air.

"This is why I can't stay…here anymore."

"I don't understand," he grumbled.

"I lied…to you," she admitted.

"About…what?"

"I didn't drink because of that case. I drank because I needed you…and I had to settle for John. Do you have any idea what it feels like to…give yourself to someone else…because the person you…want…doesn't want you!"

"I want you!"

"No, you don't. You hide behind flimsy excuses."

"Sara…I'm older than you."

"So what!"

"I don't see marriage in my future."

"Neither do I! I only agreed in order to…he was better than sleeping alone."

Her honesty stung.

"We have our jobs to consider."

"Right."

He objected to her quick dismissal of his fear.

"Our jobs are on the line."

"Newsflash, you don't give special treatment to anyone. All of us get treated just as shitty as the next person."

He looked offended.

"Anything else?"

"It's against policy for…."

"We've been spending time together for months but no one has even noticed. Geez, Grissom, I was more concerned about spending the night here than you were. How many times have we had breakfast or dinner together?"

He opened his mouth but then shut it.

They **had **spent time together and not even Catherine had noticed.

"John almost used department databases to locate me. He didn't because he didn't want to risk getting caught….but you did."

She felt dizzy as she slumped back on the couch. "It's a matter of choice…your choice. I didn't grow tired of you, Gil. You were tired of me…a long time before those two and a half weeks…you just gave in…until you could get away from me."

"That's not true!"

She closed her eyes. "You're not responsible for me."

She refused to look at him, no longer able to hold back the tears.

She swiped at them as she felt a blanket tossed over her.

The pain medication took effect and she drifted.

When she woke, her clothes were lying over a chair.

They were neatly pressed.

Her eyes darted around and she spotted him sitting in a chair.

"How long…have I been asleep?" she asked.

"Six hours," he said, moving from the chair to sit directly across from her.

She moved to a sitting position, trying to push her hair from her face.

"Your clothes are ready," he announced.

She took that as a cue to leave, grabbing the clothes as she disappeared into the bathroom.

She returned fully dressed but he stepped in front of her shoes, blocking her ability to get them.

She frowned.

"I'd like…for you…to stay," he said.

"Why?"

He held up a piece of chalk.

"Chalk?"

"You can set the boundaries this time. Whatever you decide…I'll agree. Let's see what happens."

_You don't even remember those were my words once…_

_I wanted to see what would happen…_

_You turned me down flat…_

He could see deep pools of unshed tears threaten to burst forth.

He reached for her but she recoiled.

"What if I say no?"

"Sara…I'm trying," he pleaded.

He was surprised when she actually took the chalk from his hand.

"Two and a half weeks," she said spitefully.

"Two and a half weeks?"

"We…start with friendship…for two and half weeks…if it doesn't work out then…we leave this alone. We remain boss and employee…nothing more."

"We've always been friends."

She glared at him.

"Friends," he replied anxiously.

"Sara…what happens after two and a half weeks…and we've been friends?"

"Then we decide…if that is all there is ever going to be…nothing more."

"But…"

"Maybe we weren't meant to be together."

She was thankful he was too rattled to remember that she had wanted to quit her job because of her feelings for him.

She handed him back the chalk as she slipped on her shoes.

"I need to go."

"Sara…stay."

She shook her head.

"At least eat something," he urged.

She was already outside waiting by his vehicle.

He purposely stopped on the way to her apartment grabbing some sandwiches.

It gave him a reason to follow her inside her apartment.

She unlocked the door, silently doing an inventory in her head.

His things were gone.

She sighed.

It was just as well, although she missed the companionship along with the intimacy.

It would be hard adjusting to sleeping solo but then again Sara Sidle was used to losing people.

It just hurt still.

She didn't expect Grissom to follow through with this and was preparing for the worst or at least giving him a taste of what it felt.

Grissom noticed John's jacket was no longer lying across the chair.

He noticed a few other things.

He was sure she was sad.

He also was sure that she was angry.

He wasn't sure if the anger was meant for him or Reynolds.

She busied herself with throwing away the empty alcohol bottle, tossing it into a trash bag.

He took the opportunity to assist, remembering the bottle on the couch and searched for any others, finding another near the bed.

He thought she would protest since the bottles were not empty but she said nothing, letting him tie up the garbage bag.

Neither said a word as she sniffled a few times, threw a few things around in the kitchen before slumping into a chair at the table.

Grissom served the sandwiches.

Once they were done, she cleaned up the mess.

"Friends…still call one another to check on each other," he pointed out.

"Yes, they do," she answered not sounding very convincing.

He felt himself being walked to the door and he was reluctant to go.

He grabbed the trash bag containing the bottles of alcohol.

"A friend can take out the trash," he announced.

Once they were at the door, he started to leave but attempted to kiss her.

"Friends…don't do that," she scolded.

"Best friends do," he snipped and purposely kissed her on the lips.

Note from author:

So...the chase begins.....


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter Thirty One:**

He wasted no time in calling her.

She picked up the phone on the second ring.

He had just finished on a case and wondered if she would be up for breakfast.

Her refusal bothered him but he persisted the next day and the next.

Her return to work helped to ease his mind.

He purposely invaded her private space, praying he would not smell cough drops.

Although she would not admit it he was sure that John's departure had hurt.

By the end of the first week, he valiantly challenged her.

"Friends…call friends," he blurted.

"You call me…there's no reason…"

"So if I don't call you…you'll call me?" he asked.

He didn't know why he needed for her to initiate the call but he did.

"Do you want me to call?"

Of course, he wanted her to call.

He wanted her to come over and sleep in his bed and let him hold her.

Best friends, did that, right?

An odd look crossed his face and she grinned. "Is there something wrong?"

"I've never slept with Catherine before," he said out loud and then turned three shades of red upon realizing what he had done.

"Do you want to sleep with her?" asked Sara.

"No!" He turned up his nose in disgust making her grin.

She called him after shift.

He sat by the phone for an hour waiting for her to call.

He grabbed the phone on the first ring.

"I call…as soon as I get home," he blasted.

"I'm sorry. I'm not you."

The silence was impalpable.

He could hear a slight shuffling of covers and then she spoke. "I call after I've showered and am ready for bed."

He swallowed.

He missed sleeping with her.

He was sure that he would sleep better if she were there with him.

She yawned.

"Sleepy?" he asked.

"I hope so," she sighed. "I'd like nothing more than to sleep."

He sat up. "You haven't been sleeping?"

"It's just…adjusting."

_Adjusting?_

_Adjusting to what?_

_Adjusting to sleeping without John?_

He opened his mouth but decided it was best not to ask.

The talk slowly drifted toward work and theories and bodies.

"Could you have breakfast with me?" he asked.

She hesitated.

"Just bagels. I'll bring bagels," he offered.

"I don't like bagels anymore," she admitted as she rolled over stuffing the extra pillow under her stomach.

She knew if she told him to come, he would be over there in less than an hour.

While she wanted that more than anything, she didn't ask.

It would be another lonely sleep.

"Okay…I'll make waffles," he announced.

"I'm sure I don't have waffles or syrup," she sighed.

"Just supply the kitchen," he stated.

"Okay…then," she agreed.

He smiled.

She was quite grumpy when he knocked on her door several hours later.

She yanked open the door and glared at him.

"I'm sorry. We didn't set a time but I thought…"

"It's fine…I just…." She motioned him toward the kitchen.

By her appearance she had still been sleeping.

He took over the kitchen, ushering her out, as he began making the waffles.

She returned later, fresh from a shower and sat on the couch while he finished.

The waffles were good.

She finished off several and then yawned.

"Go back to sleep," he insisted.

She was asleep on the couch by the time the kitchen was put back in order.

He gently placed a blanket over her, leaving her to wake by the alarm clock he set on the floor.

He had not expected to see her during shift.

She had been out in the field working a solo and he did not expect to see her until the end of shift but she managed to step into the lab an hour early.

"Waffles were great- alarm clock sucked," she whispered as she dropped her report onto his desk.

He grinned.

Days filtered by with little chance for conversation except processing bodies.

He was sure Vegas was consorting to keep him separate from Sara.

_A week left…_

Well, she couldn't fault him just because they had been busy with work.

He looked over the rim of his glasses at the soft sound of her voice as she spoke with Nick.

"Come on, Sar. Jeff would really like to meet you," begged Nick.

Sara smiled. "Really?"

Grissom's pen dropped to the table, his crossword puzzle abandoned as he eavesdropped on their conversation.

It was too difficult to follow along and Grissom could not read their lips.

Sara filled her cup as she leaned against the counter.

Grissom waited until they were alone. "I thought you agreed…to try."

"I did…I am. There's still a week left on our agreement."

He whirled around. "Yes…and then we can…"

"A lot can happen in a week," she announced as she headed to the door.

"What if it doesn't?" he asked.

"Then I have to decide whether we just remain friends."

_Did she agree to go out with Nick's friend?_

His shoulders slumped as he thought of the implications.

_I can't compete with someone younger…_

_I only have so much to offer…_

_What do I have to offer?_

He grabbed his coffee cup and retreated to his office.

He remained there while he completed paperwork waiting for a body to take his mind off her but the shift was slow.

There was a tap on his door.

"Hey Griss, we're going to Frank's for dinner. Want to come along?" asked Catherine.

He shook his head but then watched to see if she would pass by.

_Catherine, Warrick, Nick and Greg…_

_No Sara…_

_She probably brought something._

His head returned to the paperwork until there was none.

The crossword puzzle lay on the end of his desk.

He reached for it but then she suddenly appeared, picking it up.

He could not seem to figure out two of the remaining boxes.

She pursed her lips, scribbled the answers and handed it to him.

He glanced at the answers.

"Since you shared your puzzle….want to share some sandwiches?"

He practically crawled over the desk as he followed her to the break room.

She had picked up sandwiches at the deli.

It was his favorite and he grinned.

"Why didn't you go with the others?" he asked.

"I didn't want to be with the others," she replied.

She picked up her pickle and bit into it.

He gawked.

Dinner was spent with little words spoken but it was comforting to sit next to one another.

Once the sandwiches were eaten, he cleaned up.

"Next time, dinner is on me," he declared.

"Next time, leave a few more answers for me."

Nick poked his head into the break room. "419 just got called in….Judy gave me the message. I'm up next," he grinned.

Sara was envious. "Hope it turns out to be a decomp," she blurted.

"Hey…just don't forget what you agreed to do," he said pointing his finger at her.

"I promise….but you owe me," she said. "Of course you could let me go out instead of you…"

Nick was already gone.

She frowned.

Grissom checked his watch. "He could probably use an extra pair of hands…to avoid overtime…if you wanted to go."

She shot out of the break room.

_Did she promise to go out with Nick's friend?_

It bothered him.

He received a wave later when she left for home.

He waited a few minutes and then left, heading straight to his townhouse to wait for his phone call.

He frowned when several hours had passed and she did not call.

Pulling back the covers, he sat up.

He slept little these days and his body was beginning to feel the effects.

His phone went off and he grabbed it.

Sighing, he jotted down the information and dressed.

He worked for the next several hours, now wishing he had slept.

His head bobbed up and came into contact with a detective.

"Tough case," commented Reynolds.

"None of them are easy," replied Grissom as he returned to work.

Reynolds kept vigil over Grissom, causing him to look at the young man.

"Anything wrong?" asked Grissom.

The young man shook his head and started to walk away but stopped. "How is Sara?"

"Sara is fine."

"I haven't seen her…I mean…I've stayed clear…but I thought…is she sleeping? She has a hard time sleeping," he rambled.

"She's sleeping now," answered Grissom.

"I just thought…as her friend…you might know. I do care about her…still."

He felt sorry for the young man at that moment.

By the looks of the young detective, he could use some sleep of his own.

"John, she's fine…really."

He nodded. "Thank you…I was just worried…about her."

He disappeared.

Grissom returned to work but he felt a kindred spirit with the young man who was obviously still in love with Sara.

His knees hurt from crouching for hours.

His back was not much better.

By the time he finished, he felt retched.

The shower at the lab felt good as he stepped out, dressing in his clothes and then stepping into his office.

He knew there would be little time before the next shift so he rested on the couch, grabbing his jacket for cover.

He was startled awake when he felt something covering him.

"I'm sorry," Sara whispered. "You looked cold. I had a blanket in the car."

"Thanks," he murmured but then was back to sleep.

She posted a sign on his door and the others stayed clear.

He emerged a few hours later.

"Sleeping on the job?" teased Greg.

"For that, you get the decomp that just came in," announced Grissom.

Greg whined. "But it's not my turn!"

"Suck it up Greggo," teased Sara as Nick chuckled.

Greg grabbed the assignment and left.

"Sara…thanks for keeping your promise. I talked to Jeff…he was on cloud nine," smiled Nick.

"Wow, I'm impressed," she purred.

Grissom tried to ignore the conversation.

He rubbed his temple. "419," he announced as he handed it to Warrick who arrived behind them.

"Man, talk about timing," grumbled Warrick.

"I guess the dry spell is over," sighed Catherine.

"Catherine, you assist Warrick."

"Nick, you've got a burglary."

"Sara, you get to assist Greg with the decomp."

Her face fell. "You're kidding, right?"

"No, you were up next…I just wanted to teach Greg a lesson," he replied as he turned and left.

Nick chuckled. "Lemons…lots of lemons."

She found a bag of lemons on her doorstep as she tried to unlock her door while holding the grocery bag.

She already purchased a bag on her way home.

The stench had not been as bad as some of her other cases but still, she smelled of death.

She stepped out of the shower and into bed, picking up her phone to call him.

"That's wasn't nice," she said.

"I left you some lemons," he replied as he sat on the couch.

"You could have told me….I'd already suffered through the grocery line…having people stay clear of me while I paid."

He grinned.

He remembered those days and was glad to pass the decomp cases along to the others now.

Supervision did have a few perks. "Sorry. I got caught up in a case."

"Are you working?" she asked.

"I'm home."

"You've looked tired," she observed.

"I've been having trouble sleeping," he admitted.

"Oh."

"How about you?" he asked, remembering John Reynolds.

"Some…but then I'm used to running on fewer hours than you."

There was a pause in the conversation.

"Our time is up," he announced.

"Yes…it is."

Another pause ensued.

"Good night," he said as he closed the phone.

Note from author:

I know you want to know what Sara is going to do. My favorite chapter is coming up....


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter Thirty Two:**

"I miss the dry spell," grumbled Greg as he began to take the perimeter.

Nick and Warrick stepped into the house.

Sara grabbed her kit as she headed toward the house.

Grissom stepped out onto the front porch, wiping his forehead with his sleeve.

She stepped onto the porch. "Where do you want me?"

"We've got plenty to go around," he sighed.

"I'll just go find a body," she decided.

She started to step away but stopped when he sat down on the porch.

"Griss?"

"Just taking a break," he said.

Her eyes searched for Brass and were relieved to see him approaching.

She glanced several times at Grissom and he nodded as if he understood her concern.

"Sara…"

"Take a break. I'll see you later," she replied as she stepped inside, knowing that Brass would take care of Grissom.

She noticed another detective in the distance.

He turned and looked at her but she quickly disappeared inside.

Grissom had already spied Reynolds.

"Not as young as we once were," said Brass as he sat down beside Grissom, handing him a bottle of water.

Grissom emptied the bottle.

"You could have called someone else the other night," stated Brass.

"They needed to sleep," answered Grissom.

"When was the last time you got a good night's sleep?" he asked.

Grissom handed him the empty bottle. "Thanks."

"Nice talking with you. We should do this more often…with answers next time," griped Brass.

Brass felt him beside him the moment he turned.

"Reynolds…you're on this case?"

"Possible drug related…one of the vics…was going to testify…I guess he's not now."

Brass looked at the young man. "Any other reason why you're here?"

He shuffled his feet.

"Have you talked with her…since…you called it off?" asked Brass.

He shook his head.

"A crime scene is not the place," ordered Brass.

The unit was exhausted by the time they finished.

"Franks!" announced Greg.

"Food…I just need food," agreed Nick.

Sara nodded her head, having ridden with them.

"Grissom, you're stuck coming with us," announced Warrick. "You drove so…"

He nodded. Food sounded good anyway.

They sat at the tables, shuffling places when Brass arrived as well.

Sara was immersed in the menu and did not notice that Reynolds sat down across from her.

She yawned. "Flag the waitress before we fall to sleep."

She tried not to react to his presence.

Reynolds smiled slightly before glancing at the menu and setting it down.

"You must come here a lot," commented Warrick to Reynolds.

"Well, you have two choices….grease and then lots of grease….I prefer lots of grease," he replied.

Nick and the others chuckled.

Grissom still held the menu.

Somehow he had been seated beside Catherine and Greg.

He had full view of Reynolds and Sara.

It did not set well with his nerves.

Food was ordered and Grissom tried to focus on eating while catching a few glimpse of them.

Reynolds kept his eyes on his plate while Sara did the same.

The others noticed the strained atmosphere.

Reynolds beeper went off and he left.

"Nice fellow," remarked Catherine.

"Good kid…been working a lot," commented Brass.

"Dating anyone?" asked Catherine.

The guys took this as an opportunity to tease Catherine.

"Can't a girl…have a life…I mean…it would seem like the ideal…match. He would understand the long hours, double shifts…death aroma…I'm not sure why I never thought to check out a detective," she sighed.

"He's available…again," stated Brass taking note of Sara's reaction to the news but there was none.

"There are just no decent men…in Vegas," whined Catherine.

Sara sipped on her juice.

"What are we?" griped Nick.

Catherine and Sara chuckled.

"Oh that was low, girls," chuckled Warrick.

Greg frowned at the insult.

Grissom continued to sip on his coffee.

"If I had known you were looking, Cath, I would have introduced you to my friend, Jeff but Sara has already hooked him up with her neighbor."

"Thanks, Sara," griped Catherine.

Sara smiled.

Grissom felt a sense of relief, knowing the truth.

"Anyway," announced Grissom. "Since I'm driving, let's finish. I could use some sleep."

He was at home within an hour.

Grissom rolled, striking the pillow a few times.

"Did the pillow do anything wrong?" she asked.

He jumped.

"Sorry," she admitted as she remained on the edge of his bed.

"How…"

"Spare key," she held up.

He collapsed onto his pillow.

"Breaking and entering…become a new hobby of yours?" he asked.

"It is when you don't answer your phone," she huffed.

He grabbed his cell. "Forgot to…charge it."

He felt the bed give and he rose. "I'm sorry. Thank you for checking on me."

"Are you okay?" she asked, trying not to sound so angry.

"I haven't slept much…I was trying to catch up…where are you going?" he asked as she left the bed.

"Letting you sleep," she called over her shoulder.

He scrambled from the bed.

"Sara!"

"The two and a half weeks are over," he said. "Could we be more than friends?"

She slowly shook her head.

He felt defeated.

"I'm not sure," she admitted. "But…it doesn't mean we can't be the best…of…friends."

He nodded, trying not to look so disappointed.

"Go back to sleep," she ordered.

He sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Griss?"

He closed his eyes but opened then to find her mere inches from him.

"Sleep," she soothed.

He nodded.

There was little else to do.

His body ached for sleep.

He settled into bed, feeling her hovering nearby.

"Stay…with me," he almost pleaded.

She lay fully clothed on top of the covers, reaching for the crossword puzzle book.

"Go to sleep," she instructed.

He was asleep immediately.

She finished off most of a puzzle, leaving a few unanswered.

She settled down beside him and closed her eyes.

It was the alarm clock that woke them.

He slammed his hand down on the clock, sending it to the floor.

Her chuckle caused him to roll over, pinning her to the bed.

"Do you have something against the alarm clock?" she asked.

"Only that it went off," he announced.

"Grissom…I can't get up."

"I know," he smiled wickedly. "You stayed."

"I got sleepy after doing a puzzle."

"You did a puzzle?"

"I left a few for you to finish."

His hand caressed her cheek but she shifted.

"Let's have breakfast," he said, releasing her.

"I need to go," she said as she slipped off the bed and slipped on her shoes.

"Sara…thank you for staying," he said.

He expected her to leave but she stayed in the doorway.

"We…start off slow," she cautioned. "See….how it goes…I'm still not sure…that maybe we should just remain friends."

"Like I said before, you're in control this time," he agreed.

"Don't expect this…I was worried when you didn't answer," she warned.

"Got some sleep?" asked Brass as he stood in the doorway of Grissom's office that night.

"And you're here to deliver more cases," sighed Grissom.

"You should gamble…not," chuckled Brass. "Is Sara around?"

"She's out in the field."

"I thought I would see if she would throw a bone…to…a pining detective."

"You think that's wise? It's over and…"

"How do you know it's over…they were almost married?"

"She's moved on."

"Sara…that soon? I can't imagine…what do you know?"

Grissom grabbed the assignments and fled.

Brass scowled at his friend. "Friends don't keep things from each other."

Grissom hurried his pace.

She prepared something for them after shift.

"Shift was kind of fun," she smiled.

"Fun?"

"Greg and I had this bet about how this man managed to get wedged into the chimney…and it wasn't his house…but he knew the wife…" she grinned.

"Who won?"

"Greg…but it was still fun."

He nodded as he chuckled.

They fell into a routine, spending time together, alternating between homes, before going their separate ways to sleep before shift.

There was an occasional dinner thrown in but both had to admit the past week had been pleasant.

It was not to last as they were hit with a few doubles, leaving little time except to eat and then sleep.

She had not stayed over since that day he found her in his bedroom.

Today proved hard.

She had seemed a bit quiet during shift but then all of them had tried to deal with the case in their own way.

It was always hard when children were involved and this case proved harder than the rest knowing that it had been a child that had pulled the trigger ending another's life.

He gently nudged her, having fallen asleep at the table.

"Go to bed. I'll see you tonight," he said with a smile as he began to put away the dishes.

She helped, feeling unsettled after the shift.

He grabbed his jacket and headed to the door.

"Griss?"

He turned.

"You could…stay…here…since you're tired also," she offered.

"I'll be fine. You get some sleep," he said as he got to the door and then stopped.

_Maybe she needs me to stay…_

"Are you sure?" he asked.

She nodded, giving him permission.

Later as they lay in bed, he rolled over to face her.

"It was a tough…shift," he whispered.

"Yes….it was."

"Night, Sara."

"Night."

He kept to his side of the bed.

It felt odd lying on top of the covers.

"Grissom…you could sleep under the covers…with me," she stated.

"Oh...okay."

One sleep over turned into another as they took turns between houses.

She accepted an occasional kiss but little else and he honored her wishes although at times it was difficult sleeping next to her and not wanting to make love to her.

He also knew he had placed her in control of their relationship.

The tension between them was gone but it was not to last as they found themselves in an awkward situation one evening at a crime scene.

She started inside the house but his hand caught hers.

"Take the perimeter," he ordered.

"Why?"

"Because I need you out here…not in there," he demanded.

She huffed but obeyed.

She huffed more when Greg showed up.

Grissom stepped outside and located Brass, pulling him to the side in a hushed tone.

He turned and came face to face with Sara.

"Why Greg and not me?" she demanded.

"We'll talk about this later," he said as he tried to step to the side.

"Now."

John Reynolds stepped out of his car and saw the confrontation.

Grissom kept his voice down. "I need to go back inside."

"I can help."

Grissom cursed when she blocked him.

"What's…in there?"

"Two kids…brutally beaten and assaulted."

She swallowed.

He started toward the door again but stopped, leaning close to her. "Sara, I'd already seen it…one of us should sleep…without nightmares."

It was the first time he had ever admitted that he had a few nightmares of his own.

Once the bodies were removed, she was permitted inside.

Greg seemed particularly silent.

"How can I help?" she asked.

Once they were home, she wrapped her arms firmly around him.

His lips descended on hers with such intensity, she withdrew slightly but accepted him fully as he pressed his body close to hers.

Both shivered from the effects of the kiss.

It took great restraint on his part to withdraw.

He wrapped himself around her and they slept.

"Dreams?" she asked later when they were getting ready for work.

"Yes…but then I felt you…it kept the demons away," he smiled sadly.

"It's my turn…next time," she stated.

"Let's hope there isn't a next time," he replied.

Just as they started to leave, she grabbed his arm.

"I don't think….friends…kiss like that," she began.

"Not even best of friends," he admitted.

She licked her lips. "It…was okay…just so you…know…to kiss me…like that."

He felt quite juvenile at that moment as he pinned her against the wall and kissed the breath out of her.

She gasped when he released her. "Have a good shift."

He left her needing a cold shower.

Note from author:

We're almost finished- they are only 37 chapters. Chapters 34 and 35 are my favorite....

Take care


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter Thirty Three**

They never touched at the lab and yet one look and she could feel his hands on her body.

It was unnerving as she tried to focus on her case.

He stepped back from the microscope when she glared at him.

He kept his distance for the remainder of the shift, not sure what he had done.

Her behavior had been odd for the last few days and he tried to keep discussion at a minimum fearful he had said or done something terribly wrong.

He'd gone over every conversation, every touch as well as every look but he could not determine what had caused this change of behavior.

They still ate and slept together.

He would have been really worried if that had changed.

At least it had not changed until this day.

She said nothing until breakfast was over.

"I think I should sleep…at my place," she said as she collected her things.

He was hurt but he did not object.

She was gone within minutes.

He went about his normal routine, preparing for bed.

He'd tossed and turned for over an hour but had been unable to sleep.

The front door opened then shut.

She ripped off her jacket throwing it over the chair in the corner and slumped down on the bed.

"Sara…we can talk…or you can just dress for bed," he offered.

She dressed for bed but remained sitting on top of the covers.

He remained, staring at the wall, not know what might set her off.

She finally slipped into the covers.

His brain was in overdrive doing calculations in his head.

It wasn't that time of the month.

It was well past that so it had to be something he did.

He heard a slight sniffle.

He started to roll over but her hand prevented him from doing so.

"Stay…over there!"

_Well, this is different…_

"Are you okay?"

"I'm late."

His brain was having difficulty comprehending what she meant.

_Late for bed…_

_Late for…_

_Oh…_

The silence was broken by another sniffle.

"I'm over a week…late."

It was quite a bombshell.

"Are you…pregnant?" he asked.

"I'm not sure."

"Can I turn over now?"

Her hand slipped away and he rolled slowly to his back.

"I forgot…I just forgot…with everything going on….that I missed my…" she gulped.

He could feel her fear.

He opened his arms and she fell into them.

"You need to take a pregnancy test…soon. I could go out and buy…"

"I already did that."

He swallowed. "Did you take it?"

She shook her head.

"Sara…what if…"

"Don't go…there."

He didn't want to since he knew it would be life altering for both of them including a young detective who still loved Sara.

Grissom knew John Reynolds would definitely want to be a part of his child's life.

"Take the test," he urged.

"Now?"

"Yes…now….wait what does the instructions say?"

She'd never taken a pregnancy test before.

She retrieved the package from her coat pocket and handed it to Grissom.

He turned on the light, throwing on his glasses and read the instructions.

"You can take it now…you'll need to…"

But she was already pulling the box from his hands and reading the instructions for herself.

She sat there cross legged in the bed.

"Go," he urged.

"What if…" her eyes pleaded.

"You said…no what ifs…let's deal with facts," he consoled.

She disappeared into the bathroom but returned within a few minutes.

"And?"

"I have to wait…for the results," she explained.

She stared at the bathroom door.

He pulled her into his arms. "Lay here with me, Sara."

She trembled when he kissed her.

"This could…this could change…everything," she sniffled.

"We'll handle this together," he soothed.

"I wanted to get pregnant…with…when we came back…I was so upset when I got my period…I wanted…"

His lips pressed into hers. "Sara….a child…is a child."

"But…"

"It wouldn't change…how I feel…about you."

She kissed him, letting her lips linger before getting off the bed.

His hand grasped hers.

"You want me…to check?"

She nodded.

He disappeared into the bathroom but returned with the pregnancy test.

"It's negative," he announced.

"Negative…you're sure?" she asked as she grabbed the stick and compared the results to the back of the box.

"You're just late…stress I supposed," he said. "Could we get some sleep now?"

She settled into his arms.

"Griss?"

"Hmmm?"

"Thank you."

He rewarded her with another kiss.

"Thank you…for trusting me," he whispered.

"Trusting you?"

"You trusted me…with this…didn't do it on your own."

Before the confinement, she never would have considered coming to him with such a private matter.

She was cranky for the next several days but he did not avoid her, leaving a gift in her locker.

They were an arrangement of wildflowers.

She smiled at the gesture.

They worked on the same case that evening.

She said nothing about the flowers until they were at her place.

He brought in his overnight bag, throwing it onto the bed.

He frowned.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"I forgot socks…wouldn't have an extra pair would you?"

She grinned, pulling out a pair of his in her drawer.

"May I ask how you have an extra pair?"

"You're a slob. You leave things in the bathroom floor…which gets picked up by me…which lands in the wash and…is put in this drawer."

He opened the drawer and smiled. There was a t-shirt, another pair of socks, a pair of briefs and a pair of boxers."

His smile faded.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"The boxers are not mine."

"Of course not…they're mine."

"You wear boxers?"

"They're comfortable…I wear them as shorts."

"Too bad you're not a slob," he retorted.

"Why is that?"

"Because you have nothing but an extra toothbrush at my place."

"I could…bring some things," she said softly.

He inched closer. "I'll…clean out a drawer…for you."

"'Just a few things," she agreed. "Oh…just to warn you…it's finally that time of the month."

He frowned. "Does this mean you're still going to be cranky for another week?"

He was shocked when she hit him with a pillow.

He grabbed a pillow and defended himself.

She was not a frail woman but could hold her own.

One blow to the head, made him reach for her, sending both of them onto the bed.

His lips devoured hers and for a second both lost control until they each pulled back.

"Best of friends…don't…oh the hell with it," she grumbled as she pulled in for another kiss.

"Hey Sara?"

"Hmmm?"

"Can I pick out your lingerie…for you to bring?" he teased.

He was hit by another pillow.

"Boxers…I'll bring boxers," she announced.

She took over three drawers.

His socks were now dispersed with hers and there was a large quantity of bras and panties.

Sara Sidle had moved in.

It was what he considered it.

He didn't complain but was fairly giddy about having her things part of his.

She stayed more and more and less at her own place.

Over time there was an occasional squabble over bathroom rites and clothes that didn't make it to the hamper but he was pleased with how far they had come…except for the bedroom.

They slept, cuddled, and kissed but the discussion of sex remained a forbidden subject.

Except for the overheated, tongue twisted kisses they remained…the best of friends.

He didn't know what to do to progress to the next level and every once in awhile he wondered if perhaps there wouldn't be anything else.

He told himself it was enough to come home to one another, spend time together, discuss things, share things, and touch…but not really touch.

He knew she had really touched John Reynolds.

There was the pregnancy scare to prove she had been with someone else.

It didn't make sense.

His mind seemed jumbled these days as he tried to make sense of their relationship.

He thought he would surprise her one evening when it was his day off to run by and have dinner with her.

He'd done it before.

He'd sent a text message to meet him somewhere and she had come.

He pulled out his phone as he drove intent to pull over to text the message when he happened to pass a particular favorite of theirs and there was her car.

He stepped into the entrance sure he would find her with Brass or one of the others in the team but halted when he saw her sitting with John Reynolds.

He waved the waiter off, telling him he was waiting for someone as he watched the two of them together.

He was not prepared for Sara's hand to rest on John's or the smile she gave John as he leaned forward and kissed her.

His Sara was kissing another man.

He quickly backed out of the restaurant, fleeing to his car.

He wiped his eyes on his sleeve as he told himself it was better to know.

_The best of friends…_

Note from author:

When I originally wrote this the chapter had ended with the revelation that she was late...leaving the readers to ponder whether she was pregnant or not by John Reynolds until the next chapter...I was nice and put it in one chaper...now you just have to deal with...why is Sara with Reynolds...Remember my favorite chapters are 34 and 35....and yes I will probably post late tonight after the reviews have come in and know everyone has caught up with the reading.

Take care!


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter Thirty Four:**

He didn't eat when she placed the plate in front of him.

He simply pushed it away, grabbing his cup and filling it again.

"That's your second…you think you're going to be able to sleep?" she asked.

"Does it matter?" he grumbled.

She shrugged trying to dismiss his tone. "Plan on going somewhere…doing something?"

"Are you?" he asked angrily.

She took a deep breath. "Gil, is there something wrong or are you just trying to piss me off?"

"What are we doing?" he asked.

"Having an argument," she spat.

"Why are we…living together?" he asked.

She swallowed. "Because…we decided…to spend more time together."

"What's the point?" he asked as he sipped on his coffee.

"Excuse me?"

"Do friends really spend this much time together? I mean Catherine and I are good friends but I'm not sharing a bed with her or…"

Sara gathered the dishes, tossing them into the sink.

Her heart thudded loudly.

"Are you tired…of this?" she asked.

"Yes, I am!" he yelled.

"I thought…we were…" she didn't finish.

"Like you said before…maybe we were just meant to be friends…really friends," he said, feeling his gut twist.

"Glad you see it that way," she huffed as she marched out of the kitchen.

There was a loud slamming of the door later, as she made her way to her car with the few contents she managed to swipe into an overnight bag.

He raked his hands through his hair.

_You stupid moron…_

_If you had kept quiet at least she would still be here with you…_

_It was better than being alone…_

He forced himself to stand his ground, ignoring his heart's plea to go after her and instead chose to sit down with a crossword puzzle.

He'd managed to complete two of the answers before he had to wipe the book with the kitchen towel, it moist from his tears.

He tried not to react to her jabs at work that evening.

It was apparent she was still upset and for the life of him he had no idea why since he had merely pointed out the obvious.

_She's in love with John Reynolds…._

_Not me…._

_I'm just someone she likes…_

_Best of friends…_

_Always…_

It was better to have her leave now.

She would surely break his heart when she moved in with John leaving him alone just like he thought she would.

She was going to, right?

The team kept their distance as they felt the tension between the two.

Sara tapped on her pad as she glared at him.

He ignored the stare, letting her work solo.

She took the assignment and fled.

He did the same.

He chose a solo himself, thinking it was best to cry in the privacy of your own crime scene.

He had done the right thing.

Hadn't he?

He wanted to think she loved him.

He wanted to believe that she needed him because she loved him.

The old corny saying kept popping up in his head.

_I don't love you because I need you…_

_I need you because I love you…_

After sleeping alone for one day, he wanted her back…even if she didn't love him.

It didn't change the way he felt even if she did love this John Reynolds.

The thought of her angry and never speaking to him again, scared him.

He really didn't want to lose their friendship.

He needed it in order to survive.

By the end of the shift, he felt rather bold, deciding to have it out with her.

He banged on her door hoping to wake her from her sleep but then thought he might be making a huge mistake if John Reynolds just happened to be sleeping with her.

He stepped away from the door, intending to leave when she thrust open the door.

It was obvious she had been crying.

He cleared his throat, getting up the nerve but failed miserably when she shoved a box in his arms. "Here's your stuff…I packed it for you."

The door was slammed in his face and he stood there, trying to figure out what had just happened.

_Why is she crying?_

He tapped on the door once again but she did not answer.

When she refused to respond to tapping, he resorted to banging once again.

It worked.

She flung the door open. "Grissom…I swear, I'm going to…"

He stepped inside, shutting the door with his foot as he dropped the box, pinning her against the wall.

He expected protests but instead his kisses were returned with the same frenzied state.

One grope led to another as they fought with each other's clothing.

He seemed particularly upset that she had on more than he wanted to remove but he continued throwing the last piece, letting it lay on the lamp next to the bed.

She felt the swoosh of the mattress as they landed.

He drove into her as she wrapped her legs around his waist.

It was not the way either had envisioned the first time they would make love since becoming a couple.

It was rather like two raging hormonal teens.

Both knew that sex such as this was disastrous

But, they also knew there would be an immediate release of tension.

For a precious moment both were sated, trying to calm their breathing.

However, the moment turned awkward.

Each tried to seek cover as they moved from the bed, trying to locate their clothing.

He wasn't sure what had happened to one of his socks but he slipped on a shoe barefoot, while hobbling around trying to locate the other one.

He barely dodged the other shoe as she threw it at his head.

He was grateful his reflexes were still good since he was sure the shoe would have knocked him unconscious.

He slammed the door shut escaping her wrath.

He cursed as he glanced down at his predicament but he felt it could have been much worse, given the fact that he had been able to slip on his pants fairly quick.

He buttoned his shirt as he limped his way to his vehicle.

Sara Sidle was not a woman to be reckoned with when she was angry.

He grumbled as he sat there in his vehicle.

It was his favorite pair of shoes.

He contemplated going back for the other one but decided it was better not to risk his life twice in one day.

There was no doubt it was consensual.

They had both wanted it and yet he somehow felt rather dirty as he made his way home.

She dropped into the bed but then cursed when it smelled of musk.

She dragged the sheets off the bed, throwing them into the washer.

She picked his sock off her laptop and tossed it into the trash.

The shoe remained by the door and she smirked at the thought of him barefoot.

The smirk soon faded and was replaced with tears.

She cursed at her weakness for this ass of a man.

He spent the next hours before shift trying to rationalize what had happened.

_If she loves John Reynolds then why did she have sex with me?_

_Maybe she loves him but wants to have sex with me…_

_Well, I'm not going to be someone's sex toy…_

The thought was absurd but it boosted his ego slightly.

Neither slept.

Each carried their own guilt for their actions.

Grissom cautiously stepped into the locker room, happy to see that only Nick and Greg were present.

He opened his locker and cursed when his shoe fell from the top of the locker, hitting him on the head.

Nick looked concerned as Greg chuckled.

Grissom yanked around but Sara was nowhere in sight.

He rubbed his head, cursing at a woman's wrath.

_What about a man?_

_Don't we get to…_

An evil grin crossed Grissom's face as he shut the locker.

He looked directly at her when he sat down but she refused to look at him.

She looked fairly innocent but giggled when Greg whispered in her ear.

No doubt, she was gloating over the incident with the shoe.

He rattled off assignments, and smiled innocently when he paired her with him.

Her smile turned to shock and then a glare as she grabbed the assignment.

He had no idea why he did other than a desire for a death wish.

She slammed the passenger door as she got in, tossing her sunglasses on.

Once they were out of the parking lot, he cleared his throat and took a gamble. "Thank you for returning the shoe."

"Too bad I couldn't shove it where it belonged."

_Good shot…_

"Sara…it was bound to happen…we've both been under a lot of sexual tension."

"Next time why don't you dial 1-800- dominatrix."

Oh, it was a low blow and she knew it.

"Heather runs a business…she doesn't participate…"

"You would know," she interrupted.

He came to a breaking stop. "This is our job…let's leave this for after hours."

"Fine!" she yelled.

"Fine," he muttered.

They arrived on the scene, each cursing when John and Brass were seen together.

John waved as he approached the vehicle.

Sara stepped out, leaning against the side panel as they spoke softly.

Grissom remained at the back of the Denali.

His hands worked quickly as he kept his eyes peeled on the front.

Grissom lifted the kits from the back but was startled when she appeared.

"I can carry my own," she seethed.

He practically dropped it into her hands and she caught it.

Brass saw the interaction and sighed. "Oh, great, this should be fun tonight."

She stepped into the middle of the room and saw a body lying on the floor.

Brass stepped into the room along with Grissom.

"Looks like a robbery," announced Brass as he gave the rundown.

"I'll take this one," announced Sara.

"Sara, there's only one body," replied Grissom.

"I guess you get…what's left," she purred.

Oh, he hated it when she was bossy.

Grissom ignored the jab.

He knew he could throw his weight around but it was exactly what she wanted.

_I'm the boss…_

_You're the employee…_

_I'm not falling for it…_

It took some time for her to get around to the print dust.

She opened the small container and cursed the moment the dust blew into her face.

Brass chuckled as Sara tried to wipe it off only smearing it across her face.

John stepped inside and laughed.

"Not funny," she yelled.

Grissom leaned into the room and snapped a photo. "Got a problem, Sara?"

She continued to work despite her appearance.

Grissom knew there would be hell to pay but the knot on his head from the shoe still hurt.

They stepped out of the house, intending to return to the lab when an officer just happened to look in the parked car in the driveway.

"Hey, I think this guy is dead," yelled the officer.

Sara and Grissom glanced at one another.

Both glared at Brass who threw his hands into the air.

"How do you miss a body in plain sight?" griped Grissom.

"Right," muttered Sara.

The shift turned into a double.

They focused on finishing the case, each feeling the need for sleep.

They were grateful that Greg showed up to help near the end, loading his vehicle with the evidence to be logged in.

Neither spoke as they got into the Denali.

Sara leaned back, closing her eyes.

Grissom pulled into Frank's. "Look, let's put our differences aside and eat."

He was glad she did not object but took a booth and grabbed the menu.

Grissom's phone went off and he stepped toward the door in order to get a better reception.

Brass and Reynolds walked in.

Reynolds sat down across from Sara.

Brass purposely sat beside Reynolds, waving down the waitress.

Grissom returned and frowned when the only available seat left was beside Sara.

He was too hungry to argue as he sat down, taking a sip of coffee.

"Undersheriff?" asked Brass.

"The proctologist himself," replied Grissom.

Reynolds chuckled.

Reynolds reached over and swiped some of the dust from Sara's hair.

"There's still a little…"

"Thanks," she said as she stomped Grissom's foot underneath the table.

He yelped.

"Sorry," she lied. "I didn't know that was you."

Brass observed Sara and Reynolds as they began small talk.

Grissom kept his eyes on the menu, praying the green eyed monster called jealousy would not get the best of him.

"So…how are you kids doing?" Brass asked.

John smiled. "We've been working through things," he announced.

Sara gulped her water down.

Grissom tried not to react.

_At least he's honest…_

_She's not…_

"So…you guys…are…together?" asked Brass.

Sara gave Brass a death glare.

"Actually…Sara and I are working on…our friendship."

Grissom spewed his coffee.

Note from author:

Can you see the flag waved in front of the bull....you know Grissom is not going to let that statement slide by....Tonight is going to be crazy so I am going to post early...don't disappoint. Leave a review for both chapters....you should have alot to say about this one.


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter Thirty Five:**

Grissom spewed his coffee, grabbing the napkin.

"Something wrong with the coffee?" asked Reynolds.

"Bad taste in my mouth," gritted Grissom.

Brass took a sip of coffee. "Mine's fine."

"Maybe you have bad breath," sneered Sara.

Grissom ignored the jab.

"As I was saying….we've been trying…to be …friends," John admitted.

John smiled at her and she returned the smile.

Grissom almost scoffed out loud.

"You think that's possible?" asked Grissom.

He moved his foot, intending to stave off a repeat of having her stomp on it.

"If we're mature…about it," John replied.

Sara smiled.

_You're such an ass, Grissom…_

John's hand reached across the table and took Sara's.

She felt awkward, letting him hold her hand.

It bothered Grissom to see her hand in John's.

The man was practically drooling over her while trying to convince himself and them that he only wanted to be friends with Sara.

"Yeah right," muttered Grissom.

"What did you say?" challenged Sara.

"Friendship is admirable," Grissom admitted.

"Friends," John announced.

"Friends," she said, feeling a bit of déjà vu.

Grissom did as well.

His cup came down on the table with force.

At this point, he no longer cared that she was miffed.

Hell, she was going to string him up for sure and beat the crap out of him but at least he would go down swinging.

Grissom blamed it on fatigue and lack of sleep as he continued in the conversation.

"Sex is a powerful thing. Once you've been intimate with someone…you can't just go back to being friends."

_What the hell did I just say…_

Brass gulped on his coffee as if it were cold beer.

He mentally tried to keep tabs on who had managed to get in the better jab.

By the looks of Sara, he was sure Grissom was about to be pulverized.

Brass grabbed another cube of sweetener and took a swig.

Her mouth gaped open, astonished at his comment.

Sara wanted to kick him but her foot could not seem to locate his.

Brass knew he should try to intervene but he was on a dry spell of sorts, not getting much entertainment these days.

Not since the latest run in with Lady Heather had he seen these two go at it.

Yes, something had definitely happened during those 30 days of confinement and Catherine owed him his twenty back.

John released her hand, taking his cup in his hand.

Grissom smiled inwardly.

_Now, he sees the writing on the wall…_

John stared intently at Sara making her feel uncomfortable. "Sex perhaps can do that…but when you love someone…you want to see them happy…not sad. I only want Sara to be happy."

Her eyes misted.

John Reynolds was a decent man.

The hallmark moment was shattered by Grissom's response. "Too bad she didn't love…you."

It shocked everyone at the table.

Silence erupted.

John Reynolds fidgeted.

"Who said…I didn't," snipped Sara.

"You…did," answered John softly. "It's the reason I called off the wedding…you told me…"

Sara licked her lips.

"I didn't…love…you enough," she lied.

"That's not what you said!" argued John. "Sara, if you had said that…I certainly wouldn't have started seeing other people. I would have given you more time."

Grissom's ears perked up.

_He's seeing other people…._

_Wonder if he's jumped into bed with someone else…_

_It could explain why she had sex with me…_

Sara patted John's hand away when he reached for her. "Dating is good. You should date. You should find someone that really…loves you…enough…to marry you."

"And that's not you?" John almost begged.

Brass was drooling over the conversation.

He'd not been privy to this much gossip since Catherine's ex was caught with a hooker in Catherine's bed.

John refused to give up as he pursued her hand only to have his finally slapped away by Sara.

It was gentle but it did not set well with his already tarnished ego.

"Really…I'm not the girl for you," Sara urged.

Grissom rolled his eyes.

"Maybe she's not capable of loving someone…like that," added Grissom.

_Just shoot me…_

_Sara is going to have my ass…_

_I might as well lie down in front of the Denali and let her run over me…_

Her hand came down on Grissom's thigh like a vice.

He tried not to react but it was kind of painful but worse, it excited him.

He gripped his coffee cup.

Her glare was intense.

Brass waved the waitress for another cup of coffee.

"Bring the pot!" he ordered.

Reynolds scoffed at Grissom's remark. "Oh she's capable….when Sara Sidle falls in love…well it's for life…"

Sara tried to interrupt John.

"I'm sorry but as your friend, I can vouch for you. Sara's deeply in love….has been for years but he's a jerk….no wait I think you called him an ass."

Brass spewed his coffee this time, trying not to chuckle.

"Why…is he an ass?" asked Brass.

Grissom wanted to know the answer to that as well although he had a few good ideas about some of the stupid things he'd done over the years.

This "friendship" thing topped the list.

"I really do not want to discuss this," warned Sara.

She felt trapped in the booth.

She was sure Grissom was not about to let her out until he'd eaten.

Their food arrived and she grabbed a piece of toast.

Grissom was thankful she released his thigh.

For spite, his hand slipped down and caressed her intimately.

She almost choked, grabbing a drink of water.

"Are you okay?" asked John.

"Sorry…I was just thinking…about that ass."

Reynolds frowned. "You know if we were good friends…"

"Best of friends," Grissom threw out.

She tried to grab him again in a vice but he was prepared, grabbing her hand and holding it under the table.

She was strong but Grissom held her hand firmly.

"Yeah! Like Grissom said, if we were best of friends, you would tell me who this ass hole is and I'd set him straight."

"Really?" asked Grissom as he released Sara's hand and leaned forward.

Brass's eyes met Sara's.

"You damn right! He does nothing but make her cry…like just the other day we met for dinner…I needed to tell Sara…I felt I should let her know I went out with this girl and well I'm going to ask her out again…I still feel like cheating," he added. "Sara, are you sure…about us?"

Sara closed her eyes.

_This is a dream…_

_This cannot be happening…_

Grissom looked confused. "Anyway," Grissom said in a loud voice, trying to get Reynolds back on track. "How did Mr. Ass make her cry?"

"She wants…a family and he doesn't."

Sara choked this time.

Grissom patted her on the back, thrusting a glass of water in her direction.

She took it, gulping down the contents before blasting Reynolds. "I didn't say that! I said…our relationship was complicated and that…we would probably never…have anything except…the two of us."

"Well, it sounded like you wanted a family and he didn't," retorted Reynolds. "I on the other hand love kids. Sara and I talked…about having several."

"Really?" asked Brass.

Sara shot Brass a glare and he took to his coffee cup again.

She suddenly felt for Grissom.

Even though he had never admitted he wanted children, she felt he did.

The fact that it was unlikely he could ever father a child must hurt.

_Don't feel sorry for him, Sara!_

She turned when Grissom spoke. "Maybe he does want children…but can't. Maybe he wants the same things but she just doesn't… come out and tell him," declared Grissom.

_He does want children…_

_I'm so sorry Grissom…_

_But you're still an ass…_

Reynolds gave the light bulb expression. "You know he's right, Sara. Sometimes, it's hard to figure out what you mean when…"

Sara stood.

Grissom remained seated.

It did not deter her from climbing over the seat into the next one while Brass chuckled.

She started to leave but stopped at the table.

"You're problem John is you're…too nice…wipe the footprints off your backside and get a life…it's not with me. As for Mr. Ass, I have a set of keys to the Denali and I'm leaving in two minutes."

John looked shocked.

Brass felt he was having a coronary as he tried to catch his breath from the laughter.

Grissom finished off his coffee, grabbing the bacon from his plate.

He slapped Brass on the shoulder.

"You can get the tab," announced Grissom as he left.

John glanced out the window into the parking lot, watching Sara as she slapped at Grissom each time he reached for her.

"He's Mr. Ass?" gasped Reynolds.

"This was fun. We should do this again," chuckled Brass.

Brass picked up the tab.

He was happy to pay the bill.

They continued to argue in the parking lot.

Grissom finally slid behind the wheel with Sara on the passenger side.

"**He's**…Mr. Ass?" asked John once more.

Brass shook his head and waved for the waitress.

"Not really…Sara and Grissom have always been like this…they're the best of friends."

"Oh…oh!" smiled Reynolds.

Brass continued to chuckle.

_Clueless bastard…._

_Catherine better cough up my twenty…_

_No, wait, I think I'll just keep this a secret…_

_More fun later to rub it in Catherine's face…_

"So…who's…this person you've decided to date?" asked Brass as he slid over to Grissom's seat.

He grabbed Grissom's plate, spooning the remaining contents onto his plate.

"Nice girl…I saw her hanging around the precinct…said her father works there."

"Really?"

"Yeah, her name is Ellie."

Jim's fork stopped in mid-air.

"I hear she has an ass for a father," said Reynolds.

"Yeah, well. This town is full of them," muttered Brass.

Note from author:

I so love Brass....of course I thought Grissom hung in there even though he knows Sara is going to make him pay for every word he said...LOL I will end this story tomorrow since it is Billy's 57th birthday....

Happy birthday Billy!


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter Thirty Six:**

They called a truce as Grissom drove.

He did not ask but purposely drove them to the townhouse.

As he pulled in, she glared at him.

"Take me home!"

"Sara…come in…and let's talk."

"I don't want to talk," she shot back.

"Then fine. Let's not talk. Let's just…be the best of friends (slap) let's go inside, sleep, cuddle have sex or all of the above (slap) but…just come inside."

He thought he did quite well with saying so much and only getting hit twice.

He left her sitting in the vehicle not wishing to press his luck.

Her footsteps soon followed as he unlocked the door.

They squared off in the living room.

He took the couch and she took the chair.

"I got angry the other day when I saw you in the restaurant with John."

Her eyes widened. "You could have told me. I would have explained," she said.

"Explain," he challenged.

"Like he said, he called…wanted to talk. He wanted permission…from me to date someone else. I gave it. It's over between us."

His eyes shot to the floor.

"You're jealous!" she announced, surprised that he would be.

"Yes….I am," he admitted and she wiped the grin off her face.

It was hard for him to admit this.

His eyes glared at her. "I'd been trying really hard…at this…but we still hadn't even made love…you kept putting me off and…" he took a deep breath. "I wasn't prepared to see you…touching…kissing him. I thought you had made your choice."

"It was a friendly...kiss…goodbye," she admitted.

"It looked…it hurt," he admitted.

He thought the revelation would ease things but she slapped at him.

He leaned out of hitting range.

"Grissom, you are such an…" she stopped herself, trying to calm down.

"An ass," he finished.

He smiled slightly but squared his shoulders. "I don't want a friendship…I want…you."

"If you weren't so think headed you would know that you have…me."

"Then how come…we haven't… unless you count the time we got carried away?"

She took a deep breath. "Guilt…I suppose. John Reynolds is…a good man. He didn't deserve to be used like that. I was happy to hear…that he was dating again. I hoped he would move on…be happy."

"So you do love him?"

"Don't make me slap you again," she huffed. "I don't love John. I never did…he was…a distraction…from you…not a replacement."

"I'm sorry…for causing…all of this," offered Grissom.

"You should be sorry!" she spat.

"I just wanted you to be…happy…and I can't…Sara, we might not ever…have a child of our own."

He began to pace. "I see that look when you're with children…you pretend you don't like kids but you do…you want one so bad…you hide it."

Her hands grabbed his. "It doesn't matter as long as we have each other…we'll get a dog…you like dogs don't you?"

He didn't know.

He never cared for things that drooled but he spoke up quickly, "Would a dog make you happy?"

She smiled.

He took that as a good sign. "Could we move past this best of friends stuff because I would really like to kiss you but I don't want to be hit?"

She pushed him back onto the couch crawling into his lap.

Her head settled on his chest as his arms folded around her.

"I hear that make up sex…is really great," he offered.

"Is there anything besides sex that you think of?"

"Break up sex?"

He groaned from the elbow to the ribs.

"Sara…I'm getting bruises," he whined.

"Serves you right! Do you know (slap) how much shit (slap) you've put me through?" (slap)

He grabbed her hands, holding them tight as he kissed her.

She struggled for a moment but then relaxed in his arms.

"This doesn't make up for half of the…"

He kissed her again.

She gasped for air when he released her.

"Keep working on it," she breathed.

"I could…do more," he offered.

She grinned. "Gil…I want us to…but…"

"You still don't feel safe with me…afraid that I'm going to toss you over to someone else….like the milk man or Hodges or…"

She belted him one and he grimaced. "I'm sorry that I make you insecure…but I really have been trying. I promise…not to…give you away…again."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"Best of friends?" she asked.

He hated those words.

"Best of friends…Sara, could we stop saying that?"

"What do you propose?"

"Lovers…and friends."

"I could…go…with that."

"Does this mean…"

"Chalk…remember I'm in control of the chalk."

"Yes dear."

It made her smile.

"Could we eat…or at least sleep?" he asked.

She fixed him a sandwich, wiping the tears streaming down her face with her sleeve.

They were happy tears.

She set the plate onto the coffee table.

He was sound asleep.

She gently ran her hands through his hair, caressing his cheek.

His eyes opened.

She smiled at the depth of love shown.

"Eat then sleep," she ordered softly.

"Yes dear."

She laughed over the endearment.

He shared the sandwich, pulling her to sit on his lap.

"Brass and Reynolds…know…about us," she whispered.

"Brass will cover…I'm sure of it."

"How can you be so sure…calm…what if Ecklie…"

"Hardly anyone knew about you…and him."

"Well…yes but we work together," she reasoned.

"Which is exactly why we're going to be careful…I would never tell anyone that you're the only person I've ever loved."

She gulped.

"You think we can do this?" she asked.

"I'm sure of it…no one will ever know."

She really didn't mean for it to happen but it just did.

His arms were wrapped tight around her as he slept.

She really intended to sleep as well but she could not help the urge to touch him.

His eyes shot open when he felt her hands drift past his waist.

She felt his body tense.

"Were you serious about…getting a dog?"

"Hmmm?"

"A dog…you said we could get a dog?"

"Yes…I think."

"You think? Grissom, that doesn't make sense."

"Neither is your "I'm not ready to make love" but you're starting something that I cannot be held responsible for."

She grinned.

"This is cruel, Sara."

She nodded. "Yes, it is."

He pinned her to the bed in one swift move.

"Play fair," he warned.

"I was."

"No you weren't…wait…does this mean…"

"That depends…what your answer is…about the dog?"

"Of course."

"He'd have to live here. I can't have pets," she cautioned.

He nodded.

He was too tired to argue.

His eyes closed but then they shot open.

"Are we supposed to…do anything…or go to sleep?" he asked.

"Sleep," she yawned.

He gave into exhaustion and slept for several hours.

Slowly he began to wake.

He felt her eyes on him but refused to open his.

He liked the feel of her next to him and wanted to enjoy a few more minutes of splendid silence.

"Griss?"

_So much for silence…._

_Don't answer and maybe she…_

"Grissom…how long are you going to pretend to be asleep?"

"Another minute or two…at least," he replied.

She grinned.

He opened his eyes and was surprised that she was already dressed.

"How did you…"

"I couldn't sleep…too excited."

"Excited?" he smiled reaching for her but his hands were smacked away.

He frowned.

"Am I to guess why you're excited?"

"We're going to pick out a puppy," she beamed.

_We are?_

_Smile and nod Grissom…_

_That's it…_

_She's returning your smile…_

_You're such a sucker for her…_

Grissom wiped the grime from his hands.

He wanted a shower.

They had been to every dog kennel, pound and rescue facility within fifty miles and yet, she had not picked a dog.

"Sara…maybe we should do some research…decide on a breed and then…"

"I don't want to buy a pure bred."

"Why not?"

"I prefer…well, it could be a pure bred just as long as it comes from a rescue facility."

"Why?"

"Because."

Several hours later, they happened to return to the first rescue facility.

There, in the lobby sat a rather big dog.

His head drooped as he looked through the bars at them.

An old man sniffled as he patted the dog once last time.

"You promise, Mary?" asked the old man.

"Of course, Mr. Sanders."

Sara glanced at the old man.

The dog whined as he watched the old man leave.

"You're giving him up?" asked Sara to the old man.

"I can't walk him…anymore. He doesn't get to play…just sits in my house. I should have thought about that before I took him. I was only thinking about myself…my needs…my wants. He wants a family…I'm just an old man…with nothing to offer. He's a good boy…despite what she will tell you," he said as he left.

Grissom did not even look in the dog's direction but began to ask to see the puppies once again.

The dog curled into a ball and whined.

Grissom looked at the litter of puppies in the basket.

"These are not going to be very big," he announced.

"I want this one," Sara announced.

The clerk glanced at Grissom who held a small black puppy.

"This puppy is only nine weeks old. He's part…"

"No, I want this one," Sara announced as she pointed to the boxer in the crate.

"Oh, miss, this dog just came in. He's been adopted out twice and returned. I think it would be best if…"

"I want him," stated Sara.

The clerk looked at Grissom.

"Sir, this dog…has problems. His family discarded him…left him in a vacant house for days until the neighbors called it in. He bit several officers when they tried to remove him. He's been depressed ever since. A young couple took him but he didn't like their cat. They brought him back. This last time an old man took him but as you can see he couldn't take care of himself much less a dog so he's back."

Sara cleared her throat. "I want him."

"Sara…" Grissom stopped.

Sara had already opened the crate.

The dog remained inside.

She tried to coax the dog to come out but he remained.

Finally, she sat down in the floor near the opening. Reaching in, she patted his head.

He licked her.

Slowly, he crawled out of the crate and into Sara's lap spilling over on all sides.

"He's big," warned Grissom.

The boxer looked up at Sara.

She smiled at him, continuing to stroke his head.

He rewarded her with a huge sloppy lick.

She chuckled.

"He drools," cautioned Grissom.

"I want this dog."

Grissom sighed. "We'll take him."

"I'll just get Hank's papers," replied the clerk.

Sara's head shot up. "Hank? His name is Hank?"

"His previous owner was a baseball fan and he named him after Hank Aaron."

"Really? I love baseball," stated Grissom as he patted the dog.

He ignored the drool that was left on his hand when the dog licked him.

"We could change his name," offered Grissom.

"Hank," said Sara softly.

The dog's ears perked.

"He likes his name. We'll keep it," smiled Sara.

There were lots of things to purchase.

They spent the remainder of their time shopping for the dog.

Sara was disappointed that they would have to wait three days until the dog could be released but it was standard procedure for any dog that entered the facility.

"He'll be thoroughly checked by our vet and given a bath," assured the clerk.

"Three days," Sara beamed. "We get to bring him home in three days."

Grissom smiled.

His Sara was happy.

Note from author:

You knew I couldn't end the story without Hank...

one chapter to go...


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter Thirty Seven:**

"Sara, you shouldn't let him sleep on the bed," bossed Grissom.

"Grissom, he's scared. This is a new place and he just wants to be near us."

"The neighbors complained about the howling."

"He thinks we're abandoning him every time we go to work."

"The neighbors…"

"We'll figure something out," she said nervously.

Grissom held up one of shoes that had been chewed. "Those were my favorite!"

Sara swallowed.

Hank whined.

"You can't send him back! He's my dog too."

"Sara…I wasn't insinuating that we should… take him back."

Hank hovered around Sara's legs as she patted him protectively.

"He's ours…faults and all," assured Grissom.

She seemed less tense but sat back down on the bed, directing Hank to sit in the floor.

Grissom sat down cautiously. "They have places that board dogs overnight or longer…maybe we could check into one of those."

Hank crawled over and placed his Grissom's knee.

His huge eyes stared up at Grissom. "We could take turns…dropping him off and…"

"I'll take him and you pick him up," she offered.

"He'll get used to us…the routine," reasoned Grissom.

Sara smiled slightly.

"Can we agree to have him sleep on his nice big comfy bed we bought for him?" asked Grissom as he stroked Sara's hair.

"Hank…go to bed."

The boxer licked her but dropped to the floor and slumped into his bed.

"Why…did you insist on getting a dog from the shelter?"

"I don't mind used….things. Some people do. They discard what they get tired of and…after awhile you're labeled broken…nobody wants you."

"Hank is not broken," stated Grissom.

"No. He just wants someone to love him."

"We do," whispered Grissom. "He's the luckiest dog in the whole world."

She nodded.

"Sara?"

"Hmmm?"

"You were never broken…I was. I've always seen you…even when I didn't want to see the pain in your eyes. I just didn't know what I had to offer was good enough."

She refused to look at him.

He forced her chin up. "The old man…loved Hank so much he forced himself to give him away so he could have a better life…I loved you so much…I was willing to give you…"

She pulled away from him.

"I didn't think you heard…the old man."

"I did…I've been in his shoes," he grieved.

"Hank couldn't decide for himself…I could!"

"Sara…I know it was a mistake…I was wrong."

"You're the only man I've ever wanted. Do you know how hard it was to let someone else touch me?"

He gulped. "Do you know how hard it was for me to let someone touch you? I wanted you! I wanted to marry you! I wanted to have children with you! I wanted to grow old with you!"

She heaved. "No one ever wanted me. My parents never did…the foster parents…pretended."

"John Reynolds wanted you," he said softly.

"Yes, he did….that's what hurts the most…what I did to him," she cried.

"Do you…want to…go back to him?" he asked, trying to keep his voice steady.

"Are you listening to me, Grissom?"

"Yes…It's just…there are times when you don't seem happy…with me."

"I'm afraid…of you," she gulped.

His eyes widened. "Sara, I would never hurt you!"

"You hurt me more than…Dover did."

He raked his fingers through his hair. "Do you remember….San Francisco?"

"Yes…of course."

"So do I. Every evening after you left me at the coffee shop, I followed you…watched you. I wanted you then."

"Why didn't you take me up on my offer? I practically gave you an invitation to bed me," she glared.

"If I had not already fallen in love with you then I would have…but you had your whole life ahead of you. Mine was…"

"Gil, you are not that much older than me!"

"Did you know I used to play cards?" he asked.

"Yes…Warrick told me."

"I was good…still am. I know a good bet when I see one…I would never bet on myself."

She looked confused.

"I saw a young girl…"

"Woman," she clarified.

He corrected himself. "….A young, beautiful, smart woman with a promising career ahead of her. I looked at myself and saw a forty year old, awkward man, too dedicated to his job because he knows that at any given moment he could lose his hearing and thus lose his career. I needed a reputation…so that it would help me land another job if that ever happened. Even if I justified everything else, I couldn't give a woman what she desires…a family."

"I don't see you that way. You could have let me decide."

"I was too afraid that I would be right…you would see that you didn't want me and then I would not only lose you but I would lose you in my life as well….friendship was better than nothing."

"You need therapy."

He grinned. "Next time, I'll add that to my list of…flaws."

"I have flaws…lots of them."

He kissed her gently on the lips. "Not to me…never to me."

"You can't get rid of me now," she warned. "You're stuck with Hank and me."

"And I'm the luckiest man in the world."

He pulled her down, lavishing in the feel of her body beneath him.

"No will ever know," he whispered.

She licked her lips. "What if…they do? What if we get caught?"

"I know something that could get Ecklie into trouble."

"Really?"

"There was never…any contamination. It was just a CDC drill."

"What?"

He grinned. "Don't hit me, Sara. I didn't know the truth until Rogers told me…Ecklie was involved. You and I could file suit against the department for what happened."

"Wait. Ecklie knew there was no danger but…he didn't tell us?"

"It was a little detail he forgot to mention."

"That son of a…." she stopped. "Does he know….that we…know now?"

"Yes….which is the reason he is not going to do a damn thing to us if he or the others find out about us…cause for once I have Ecklie's balls in my hands."

"I so don't want to visualize that."

He chuckled.

"Still, we need to be careful."

"Sara, we've been practically living together for weeks and no one has caught on. They still think you're looking for someone who is husband material."

She grinned. "Nick is still trying to fix me up with someone."

"No one suspects us."

She smiled when his fingers began to unbutton her blouse.

His lips nipped at her delicate skin sending chills down her spine.

"I missed you so much," he choked. "I never want to be away from you."

Her lips caught his.

"I wouldn't trade this…for anything," she whispered.

"Even….for a chance…to have a family."

She hushed him with a kiss.

"All I've ever wanted is you…and Hank."

That night, she lay in his arms, confident that nothing would separate them.

He woke with a start, yanking himself to a sitting position.

"Grissom?"

He jumped at her touch.

"Sara?"

"I'm here," she soothed.

He grabbed her into his arms. "I had…" he did not finish but locked his arms around her. "I dreamed….I dreamed I couldn't find you."

She kissed him, caressing his cheek. "It was just a dream."

His hands made haste with their clothing.

"We're going to be late for work," she warned.

"I'll be quick…but slow," he teased.

She giggled from the sensations his lips were causing on her abdomen.

The laughter soon turned to moans as he descended further.

His lips returned to hers as their bodies joined, feeling whole once more as he made love to her.

She smiled as he lay sleeping in her arms.

There would be time to discuss their predicament later, the double lined pregnancy stick lying in the bathroom.

Now, she was content to lie there, keeping the secret to herself.

He grinned as she crossed the yellow crime tape.

It had been her turn to drop off Hank at the sitter and she was certain this was going to be a long shift.

She didn't care.

The love of her life was standing nearby.

She dared not look into his eyes because she was certain she would blush from the memory of their lovemaking just a few hours ago.

It had been the most excruciating hour of her life as he had tortured her body, draining the last orgasm from her as she gasped for air.

He had been quite satisfied with himself.

His ego stroked over and over as she could not seem to stand after the bout of lovemaking.

He had proven to be a gifted lover and the best friend a woman could have.

Of course the discovery of the pregnancy stick brought tears to his eyes as she smiled over and over.

He reached for the camera letting his hand intentionally slide down her arm setting off sparks between them.

"_You are so going to pay for that," _she thought as she stepped back to continue her collection of the evidence.

He had been doing that a lot as of late.

It was subtle and it would take a trained eye to catch him but Sara knew and he knew.

There was one other person who caught sight of the gesture.

Natalie stood in the crowd as she watched the lover's touch.

Soon, she would dedicate a miniature just for the two.

In the meantime, she stepped into the shop to purchase some new items for her new project.

Note from author:

Well, we know what happened…he did announce that she was the only woman he had ever loved, they were found out, Natalie did take Sara away, but she was found and then…

I did add the pregnancy...I always thought that it had to be something awful to push Sara to leave Vegas...the loss of a child made sense to me...not what they tried to insinuate...

A friend gave me the idea of bringing the story back into canon so I did. Thanks for reading and reviewing. The next story should be up in a few weeks if not sooner. In the mean time,

Take care!


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